Top 11 "This is Sportscenter" Commercials

By CJ Tiernan

Before the ubiquity of the smartphone, Sportscenter was the one. It was THE way to get your sports highlights. You'd also watch the bottom line to find scores and other important tidbits. When I was in High School, Sportscenter anchors were deified and revered. Sportscenter has lost a bit of its charm in the intervening decades, but it never gets old to go back and watch the old "This is Sportscenter" commercials. They would very humorously place athletes and anchors in an office setting on the ESPN campus in Bristol, CT, as though that was where they spent all of their time. Thank you to the ad agency "Wieden+Kennedy" for creating such a beautiful and comical swath of commercials from 1995 to 2017. Below is a list of my 11 favorites I've ever seen (and in many cases, seen over and over again).

Tommy Gilligan/Pointer View, uploaded to Flickr by West Point Public Affairs, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

1. Jimmy Rollins/SVP - "It's Not Good"

This is my favorite one of all time. Not only does it feature Scott Van Pelt, my favorite anchor of all time, but it has such a fun twist on the broadcast dynamic. SVP is breaking down tape of his Sportscenter telecast with Philadelphia Phillies MVP Jimmy Rollins. The way they are breaking down film (like a baseball player does) to improve is hilarious enough, but it is coupled with the fact that SVP is doing terribly on the tape they are breaking down.

2. John Clayton - "Mom I'm Done with my Segment"

This one is so wonderful because it plays on expectations. It stars John Clayton, who is always so buttoned up on his ESPN hits, as a Slayer fan who lives with his mom. The framing, the surprise ponytail, and the signature line "hey mom, I'm done with my segment" all play to perfect effect in this one. I'm also a sucker for a tear-away suit.

3. Jay Harris/New Jersey Devil - "Going Up?"

In this one, Jay Harris is waiting for an elevator. When the elevator opens, the mascot for the New Jersey Devils NHL team is waiting. He looks like the devil. Jay asks "going up?" and the mascot just slowly, dare I say ominously, shakes its head no. Jay quickly jumps out of the elevator. Hilarious every time.

4. Usain Bolt/John Andersen/Jay Harris - "Man I'd Kill for that Schedule"

Olympic champion Usain Bolt using a time clock. What's not to like about this one? He punches in while John Andersen and Jay Harris just engage in inane water-cooler talk. Bolt comes rushing back to clock out and the camera pans up to showcase his world-record time. Everything in this tableau is just perfect.

5. LeBron/SVP - "Good Luck Finding your Chair LeBron"

This is another play on interoffice dynamics. The old chair switcheroo. Only in a typical office setting, all the chairs look more or less the same. Not so much in this one.

6. Andrew McCutchen - "Plunder the Lox"

There are kinda a lot of teams that use pirates as mascots. 4 of them burst into a meeting and steal a whole bunch of supplies while the people in the meeting just sit there stoically and take it, almost like it happens all the time. Then Andrew McCutchen, longtime Pittsburgh Pirate, bursts in and says "The lox. Plunder the lox." It is a delightful moment.

7. Arnold Palmer - Makes Arnold Palmer in the Cafeteria

The cafeteria is another great setting for these commercials. Stuart Scott and Scott Van Pelt stare on in awe as golfer Arnold Palmer, with his caddy in tow, makes the drink that is named after him. Perfection.

8. Peyton/Eli Manning - Tour

The Manning family is on a tour of the ESPN campus, and Peyton and Eli (2 NFL quarterbacks at the time, Hall of Fame quarterbacks when it's all said and done) are behaving like children. They are messing with each other just like siblings/kids. Also there is a Cooper Manning sighting!

9. Clayton Kershaw/Jay Harris - "What's Taupe now?"

Clayton Kershaw, future Hall of Famer for the LA Dodgers, is on the phone in the office. He is idly flipping pencils at the ceiling. But he is an MLB pitcher, so he is whipping them right through the ceiling, repeatedly just missing a terrified Jay Harris. Man, Jay Harris is in a ton of these. He's awesome!

10. Roger Federer/Neil Everett - "I'm in the top 10, Roger"

Tennis player Roger Federer hanging around the office with Sportscenter anchor Neil Everett. Neil mentions how he appreciates always knowing where you stand as a tennis player because of the rankings. He challenges Roger to give him a rating of Sportscenter anchors and gets a disappointing and dismissive answer from Roger.

11. Albert Pujols/Steve Levy/John Anderson - "I'm not a machine, okay. I'm just Albert"

This one plays on a nickname that a player has. It is another recurring trope in the "This is Sportscenter" commercials. He was named "The Machine" because of his consistency at the plate early on in his career. Here, thanks to some POV shots, we see he is actually a machine. "Why didn't you eliminate them, Albert?" is such a funny way to close the commercial out.

Final Thoughts

These commercials were on over and over again when I was younger. When looking back on them, I miss them. That is high praise, because it doesn't happen very often. That's never happened to me with a political ad or a toothpaste commercial. These short commercials were so much fun and there were countless great ones. There are a few that just missed the list: Chargers RB Ladianian Tomlinson is in the mailroom, but he wears a dark visor so he can't read any of the names, Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has a secretary that is actually a viking, the cafeteria has the Swedish Chef Muppet (famously unintelligible) being translated by hockey player Henrik Lundqvist, and Jay Harris comes into the break room to play on the "days since last injury" trope by changing "years since last Cubs' World Series" from 108 to 0, only to be followed immediately by the UConn Huskies mascot wearing a cone on his head changing the "days since last injury" sign to 0 as well. There are countless great ones. Please let me know in the comments if I missed one of your favorites. Thanks!