Top 11 Fruits

By CJ Tiernan

By en:User:Daderot., CC BY-SA 3.0 <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/>, via Wikimedia Commons

You remember that food pyramid thing? It had the 7-11 servings of grains at the bottom and then worked its way up to all the good stuff you were only supposed to indulge in with extreme moderation. Feh! What did they know? Well, the fruit was near the bottom, just above the grain and it is actually delicious (unlike its next-door neighbor: vegetables). Below is a list of my Top 11 fruits I've ever tried.

1. Strawberry

While a strawberry is not technically a berry (what are you doing science? Get your house in order!), it is delicious. The strawberry is my favorite fruit but it does harbor the elusive pursuit of a good one. It can be tough to tell from the outside whether or not it is good and red all the way through. It also works great as a flavor in so many drinks, candies, and desserts.

2. Banana

The utility of a banana is hard to replicate. It can stand alone as a snack, work great as an oatmeal additive, and even operate as a sandwich ingredient (you ever eat a peanut butter and banana sandwich? It is da bomb dot com). They are a more calorie-dense food than many of the other fruits on this list, but that's because they're so good. As my diabetic friends will tell you, a banana is two choices. Also, you ever see a video of a monkey eating a banana? They peel it from the bottom! What a game-changer.

3. Pineapple

Do I like it as a key ingredient in Pineapple Upside-Down cake? Why yes. Yes, I do. But, it is also a delightful stand-alone option. You can get it fresh or canned. I like how many different ways you can have it sliced when you buy it canned. It comes in chunks, rings, tidbits, or crushed. They're all pineapple, so they're all worth it. Allegedly, you can look at an unpeeled pineapple in the grocery store and tell whether or not it's ripe. Me and my hawaiian-shirt wearing brain are incapable of picking up on the subtlety at play. By the way, shout-out to Psych (my favorite TV show of all time) for throwing a pineapple in every episode.

4. Apple

How many varieties of apples are there in the world? In the US, there are more than 2500 and in the world, that number triples. That's a lot of apple varieties I haven't' tried. Maybe that means it's too low on my list and I haven't yet had the pleasure of trying the best one. I'm forced to settle for the dregs that "Big Apple" pushes to grocery stores. Then again, that honeycrisp. Aw man, that honeycrisp! It really hits. The Granny Smith is no slouch either. I thank her for her service every time I enjoy an apple pie on Thanksgiving.

5. Mango

When you get a good mango, oh my word it melts in your mouth. It is a tactile euphoria. It is the newest addition to my fruit list and, while it can sometimes be difficult to track down a good one, when you find it, your efforts are rewarded. Also, what a fun seed. Those long slender seeds look like you received an oversized almond as the prize in your mango-flavored Cracker Jack.

6. Orange

I once peeled an orange in such a manner that the entire peel came off as one piece. Looking back on it, that is less a badge of honor and more a waste of time. But, I quite like oranges and felt compelled to handle with care. It is a citrus fruit that just conjures up energetic feelings of happiness and sunshine. Is that why they call Florida the sunshine state? It also makes a mighty fine juice. I'm a pulp man (leave your thoughts on the subject in the comments). When I worked at Target, I once had a guest ask my peer and I for some "clean orange juice." After some brief bewilderment, we realized she was asking for OJ without pulp. It's funny how the old melon works sometimes.

7. Grapefruit

Going back to back, Jack, with citrus fruits! I love a grapefruit more than most, I think. I like its tangy, sour slaps to the oral cavity. And, it's pink! How fun is that? It is also good for you. (Uh oh! Weird Al reference incoming) In fact, Weird Al wrote a song about the fad of eating mostly or exclusively grapefruit (aptly titled "Grapefruit Diet"). It was to the tune of "Zoot Suit Riot" by the Cherry Poppin' Daddies. What a banger!

8. Peach

I believe it was the young namesakes of The Allman Brothers Band that once encouraged America to eat a peach. They were on to something. When you bite into one of these fuzzy little doodads, the juices run down your beard (or chin, should you lack sufficient growth) in a messy delight. While I'm a sucker for stone fruit such as the apricot and the nectarine, this one takes the cake.

9. Lime / Lemon

I mashed these two together because while their services are not to be ignored, they aren't the type to be eaten straight up (although I do love me a lime wedge). They are a big deal in a lot of stuff, but you wouldn't go right for it, like an apple. Plus, they make great ades. Lemonade and Limeade are an absolute delight. They help with just a spritz or a zest in so many recipes they simply had to make the list.

10. Blueberry

I throw these bad boys in my oatmeal. Big fan. Fun fact: there are no foods that naturally occur as blue. Blueberries are, in fact, purple. Seriously, the people in charge of naming berries really need to tighten up. The blueberry is also a fetching ingredient in muffins, scones, and pies.

11. Grape

This is a throwing food. My brother and I were no stranger to throwing these across the kitchen and attempting to catch them in our mouths growing up. While our parents appreciated the attempt at a hobby and the dedication to our hand-eye coordination skills, they were less than enthused with the mess. So, we got good and stopped making a mess (except for that time we had that epic Rolo battle. We found Rolos for years and years after that). The alternative was to stop eating grapes. It was a no brainer. Also, as much as I enjoy eating grapes and drinking white grape juice, any and all grape-flavored products are repulsive to me. A cough syrup incident when I was about 5 years old permanently removed the flavor from the menu for me.

Final Thoughts

Fruit is sugar that naturally occurs in the wild (after consulting the internet, it appears sugar also naturally occurs in the wild as... sugar. How fascinating!). It comes in many varieties (seriously, so many apple options) and can be used in so many things. I am not a melons guy. You may have noticed a complete and utter lack of melons on my list. Sorry, not sorry. If you are a melons guy, please let me know in the comments section below, in addition to any other great fruit options I may have left off the list. Thanks!