By CJ Tiernan Every single person has a name. It’s famously a common way of telling one another apart (along with finger prints, dental records, and whether you’re Team Edward or Team Jacob) and used to gather attention when shouted across a room. If it’s supposed to be a unique designation, why do we end up with so many people named John or Jack or Bort? Names, to make a long story short, need to be more adventurous. We need to normalize having names crazy enough that aski

By CJ Tiernan Have you ever heard someone’s name and thought: oh, that’s delicious! Well, I have and I did something about it. I made this list. I went through all the celebs I could think of and weeded out the ones with animal names (see that Top 11 List here) or location names (like America Ferrera, A’ja Wilson, and Diamond Dallas Page) or vacation option names (like Lake Bell, Tom Cruise, and The Beach Boys) and was left with this sweet and savory list. Here are my Top 1

By CJ Tiernan Back before we had our food hand delivered to our doorstep, we left our little homes and went and picked it up ourselves. But we didn’t completely encumber ourselves with the Sisyphean task of acquiring ready-to-eat snacks. Nope. We used the drive-thru (see also: drive-through). One simply placed their order from the comfort of their vehicle and moseyed around back to pick it up from a window carved in the side of a building. Pure, magisterial splendor. Since

By CJ Tiernan Consider this: statistically speaking, you will consume more meals whilst seated at a table than any other piece of furniture. Did I just blow your mind or what? A table is a landing pad for both food and active, practical storage. Sometimes it’s for meals, other times it’s for laundry or gaming. Sometimes you put a lamp on it or (back in the day, at least) a landline. Tables are everywhere and (outside of a Buffalo Bills tailgate) often built to stand the tes

By CJ Tiernan What does Captain mean to you? In the military, they rank pretty high. On board a ship (sea or air), they are in control of your fate. In gym class, they pick teams. I think we can all agree those are three equally important jobs. Yes, the Captain is in charge of making important decisions. It is with that understanding I acknowledge the gravity of the following list. Below is my Top 11 List of my Favorite Captains throughout media (and one real life character

By CJ Tiernan Whether employed as a dipping sauce, or slathered atop a dish like special shampoo on a lice kid, the condiment is an essential piece on the cuisine checkerboard. It can supplement, enhance, or straight-up drown-out the flavor of the food in question. I’m a big condiment guy. I’ve been known to apply liberally. I’m the guy at a restaurant who orders an extra side of sauce before the meal even comes because, c’mon son, one little container? Who do you think I a

By CJ Tiernan Since the beginning of time, bags of chips have served humanity as loyal side dishes. They've walked hand in hand with a cold sandwich inside a lunch box, presented a splash of color at picnics and barbecues, and waded through the cartoon-fueled waters of after-school snacks. They are crunchy and delightful and always welcome (except for maybe inside a library. Shhhh!). While it can be difficult to select a bag of chips in the grocery aisle due to sheer volume,

By CJ Tiernan By en:User:Daderot., CC BY-SA 3.0 <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/>, via Wikimedia Commons You remember that food pyramid thing? It had the 7-11 servings of grains at the bottom and then worked its way up to all the good stuff you were only supposed to indulge in with extreme moderation. Feh! What did they know? Well, the fruit was near the bottom, just above the grain and it is actually delicious (unlike its next-door neighbor: vegetables). Below

By CJ Tiernan It has been said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. The proverbial foundation upon which the rest of the day is built. For some, that foundation is simply a cup of coffee (or one of those things you buy at a coffee store that has coffee in it but the dominant ingredient is like sugar or whipped cream or something). For others, it may be a smörgåsbord of proteins like eggs, bacon, and sausage. I love all sorts of breakfast options. In fact, I'm