Top 11 Athletes Whose Names Cannote Their Sport

By CJ Tiernan

How fun is it to watch sports? Whether you're rooting for your favorite team or athlete, or you just love the sport and want to see a good game, sports are a great form of entertainment. I'm often tickled when the announcer calls out the name of an athlete with a delightful name. Below, I have a list of my Top 11 Athletes with names that most-perfectly fit their sport.

1. Chuck Long - Football QB

A quarterback in football throws the ball. Some of the best plays a quarterback can have is the deep ball. Chuck = throw, Long = far. This name is so perfect for a thrower of the football. He played for the University of Iowa (my alma mater) in the '80s before having a subpar pro career, mostly with the Detroit Lions (where careers have gone to die for almost my entire life). He did win an XFL championship in 2023 as an offensive coordinator, though, so, hat-tip!

2. Chris Moneymaker - Poker Player

Moneymaker is his actual last name. Crazy! In a sport where you more literally make money than any other, he burst on the scene winning the World Series of Poker in 2003. He created a phenomena known as the "Moneymaker Effect," as he was the first to earn his seat at the table through online poker. If you question whether someone who plays poker can be considered an athlete, that's fair. Anything broadcast on ESPN, for me, hurdles the (admittedly low) bar for sports status.

3. Usain Bolt - Sprinter

J. Brichto, CC BY-SA 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

I'm an American. Usain Bolt is one of the few times, if not the only time, I can ever remember rooting for the athlete of another country in the Olympics. From his superhuman speed, to his ostentatious demeanor, Bolt was great (and he knew it). For a man whose memoir is titled The Fastest Man Alive, having the surname Bolt (as in bolt of lightning or move quickly) is perfect.

4. Tiger Woods - Golfer

Tiger Woods was good at golf. Really, really good. One of the best ever. While his real first name is Eldrick, his real last name is indeed Woods. Woods, as in, the clubs you use for hitting the ball really far, which is something he was also great at. And while woods are now made of, and occasionally referred to as, metal, he has been playing since he was 3 years old, back when they were at least predominantly wood, it still counts.

5. Prince Fielder - Baseball Player

Prince Fielder, as was his dad Cecil, was a first baseman and designated hitter. He was an infielder who could mash. While he was more known for his hitting prowess than his ability to play the field, the name is still quite apt.

6. Tim Duncan - Basketball PF/C

Tim "The Big Fundamental" Duncan was a post presence. As such, he had a lot of opportunities to finish at the rim. His last name, when said aloud, sounds a lot like the coffee and donut shop that America runs on (Dunkin'). Basketball is a sport filled with high flying dunks, so Duncan is an apt name for the sport, even though Tim was known to finish a variety of different ways at the cup.

7. Homer Bailey - Baseball Pitcher

Now "Homer" isn't his birth name, instead it was a nickname bestowed upon him to distinguish him from his father, who was also named David. However, it was a name borrowed from his great-grandfather (not The Simpsons) and one he went by basically his whole life. As a pitcher, a homer was not exactly something he was anxious to see so while it fits the sport, it's not perfectly apt for him. Homer also failed to homer in his 373 career at bats.

8. Clete Blakeman - Football Referee

Clete, short for Cletus, has been a referee in the NFL since 2008. While technically not a professional athlete, he is undoubtably a sports figure in America's biggest sport and thus gets to make the list. It's my list. If you don't like it, make your own. Clete, as you know, is a reference to footwear, as the shoes that football players wear (and referees) are referred to as spikes or cleats.

9. Takeo Spikes - Football LB

Spikes is another name for NFL footwear. It also works as a celebration move with the football (If you're looking to learn how to spike a football, simply hurl it at the ground directly in front of you as hard as possible). As a hard-hitting linebacker, Takeo was no stranger to spiking humans into the ground as well.

10. LaMelo Ball - Basketball PG

A guy with the last name ball plays basketball. How fun is that?! It gets better: he has two brothers Lonzo and LiAngelo that play/played professionally. I put LaMelo up top because he has played the best of the three (though some consider Lonzo to still be the best when it's all said and done due to superior defense), but the truth is they all had to overcome the obstacle of massive hype due, in no small part, to their father LaVar Ball being, shall we say, boisterous on national TV.

11. Margaret Court - Tennis Player

I've never seen Margaret play tennis. She retired 13 years before I was born. However, she is still the Grand Slams Singles record holder with 24 wins, one ahead of Serena Williams. Her name is the playing surface upon which one plays a game of tennis. How delightful is that?!

Final Thoughts

I hope you enjoyed my quirky list. I find it so fun that several athletes had names that so perfectly fit the sport they played. Just to be clear, I ranked them based on how apt I felt the name was and not at how great an athlete they were, which you could probably tell by my having Chuck Long ahead of the likes of Tiger Woods and Usain Bolt. Kenneth Gainwell (Football Running Back) and Ryan Longwell (Football Kicker) are the two players that just missed my list. If I missed any of your favorites, please let me know in the comments below. Thanks!