Top 11 Awards
- CJ Tiernan
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
By CJ Tiernan
There are few instances in this world where one sets out on a journey, bound for greatness, with receipt of an award as the goal (for the ‘gram? Maybe). It’s an honor just to be nominated, after all. That said, there are some pretty wonderful awards out there (I wonder if NFTs were around long enough to have an award). Below is a list of my Top 11 Awards, ranked by a combination of acclaim associated with the award and the design of the award itself. Please enjoy.
1. Nobel Peace Prize
In my opinion, this is the greatest honor that can be awarded to anyone on the planet. The Nobel Prize says that your efforts, your career pursuit, your area of study, has contributed to (or at least aimed at) peace among the nations and human rights. It’s beautiful. Funny how it came to be, though. The namesake is the inventor of dynamite. Alfred Nobel held 355 patents during his life, but is remembered for two things: explosions and peace. I don’t think those two normally end up in the same file folder but I appreciate a dude throwing his hand in the air and saying, “my bad. I can fix this” (but he probably said it in Swedish).
2. Olympic Gold Medal
Compete against the best of the best from around the world to see who is the fastest or the strongest at almost anything. That is the promise of the Olympic Games. I imagine that nothing else in this world compares to the feeling of standing atop the podium, pride ushering you to your tallest height, whilst a stadium full of people clad in every color honor you, listening to your national anthem blaring out the loud speakers. What a humbling tribute. And to think, it was brought about by dudes in togas honoring plural gods. To be fair, American women first competed in the Olympics in 1900, 2 decades before earning the right to vote by the national government, so there’s some level of progression there.
3. Nickelodeon Blimp
This is my favorite award, visually. It’s such a bright color and a fun shape. While one does not simply walk into Mordor, they may find the trek has some value if one of these precious little dirigibles is waiting at the end. The Blimp is issued at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. Kids both say the darndest things and issue the darndest awards.
4. MTV Movie Award (Popcorn) / MTV Video Music Award (Astronaut)
Ah, MTV. They were, for a hearty chunk of time at the tail end of the 20th century, the pulse of Americana. First, video killed the radio star, then the iPod killed the video star (then reality TV usurped the music video). That said, a couple of times a year, the stars come out and bask in the glory of these wonderful awards (and… a lot of crazy stuff tends to happen).
5. Green Jacket
Perhaps one of the more unique entrants on my list, the Green Jacket is awarded every year to the winner of The Masters. Played in Augusta, Georgia at the beginning of April, The Masters is the most prestigious of the four golf majors. It is literally a green blazer, and the winner has to bring it back. They can parade around in it for a year, but have to return it to the clubhouse. I think if you earn an award, you should get to keep the award (just me?). Traditions and old people can be a little stodgy when it comes to parting with things. Still, it’s green and it’s dope.
6. Heisman Trophy
Fun fact: the very first Heisman Trophy winner (Jay Berwanger) attended High School in my hometown of Dubuque, Iowa. He went on to NOT play football professionally. That would be a really weird decision now. Second fun fact: when he was awarded the trophy, it was not yet known as the Heisman. John Heisman (the namesake) died the next year and the award was renamed in his honor. Heisman was a retired coach who was considered a football innovator. He actually coached basketball and baseball in the college ranks as well. In addition to looking really heavy, the Heisman Trophy is famous for the distinctive pose of NYU running back Ed Smith. Desmond Howard made striking the pose in the end zone famous more than half a century later.
7. Gold Glove
This is the coolest defensive award in sports. We all know “defense wins championships,” but only baseball makes it the gold standard 😁. I like that a recipient of the award has a special gold patch on their actual glove the following year to show off their hardware during an actual game (if they attempted to use the actual trophy they, uh, wouldn’t win it again. It’s heavy and inflexible).
8. The Grammys
You know what device people don’t use enough anymore to play music? The gramophone! Did you even know that such a thing existed? Guess where the name “Grammys” comes from. The term gramophone is largely considered a synonym of the more commonly heard “phonograph” and much more commonly heard “record player.” Man, the morning commute would be so different if everyone carried one of these on their laps on the train instead of using headphones.
9. Academy Award
The more prestigious (but less fun) of the movie awards, the Oscars honor the best achievements in film. It features a single, golden man lacking identifying features. Allow me a brief diatribe here. A movie is a source of entertainment. You watch one to be entertained. End of transaction. And yet, so many of the movies that the Academy considers to be the very best of the year, are crazy boring. I am continually frustrated with some of the movies (Phantom Thread, Past Lives, Nightmare Alley…) the Academy nominates because they are dull, unengaging films with no entertainment value. Make me laugh. Make me cry. Make me feel something. When I watch a two-hour movie (or God-forbid, longer – I’m looking at you, The Brutalist) that was nominated for best picture and it is a giant nothing-burger, I get so upset at the waste of my time. Do better, Academy! (But, again, the award itself is the pinnacle of cinema).
10. Lombardi Trophy
I love the design of the Lombardi Trophy. You ever watch those videos where an athlete is celebrating their greatest achievement. They have reached the zenith of the sport and as they hold the trophy aloft, some part falls off and breaks. Not gonna happen with the Lombardi. This thing is a sturdy, solid (well, it’s hollow) piece of equipment. It’s not so heavy that it can be dropped easily and it actually floats in water if it was. Plus, it’s named after the greatest coach of my favorite team: Go! Pack! Go!
11. Stanley Cup
This oversized drinking vessel is exciting because rather than crafting a copy each year for the winner, this is a traveling trophy. They also engrave the names of the players and coaches directly onto the cup, swapping out the oldest collection of names every 13 years to free up real estate for the newest winners. Because there is only one trophy, there is a designated dude who carries it around everywhere. He is known as “the keeper of the cup.” Hey Siri, remind me that I want to be the keeper of the cup when I grow up.
Final Thoughts
There are tons of awards for all sorts of stuff in this world. If you do something well enough, and people notice, you may just find your way into winning an award. If you do something poorly enough, you might get a pink slip, which is its own special kind of reward. I’ll leave a list down below of a few awards that just missed making my list. Please let me know if I have left any of your faves off the list. Thanks! Have a great day!
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