Top 11 Words

By CJ Tiernan

You ever stop and look around the English-language landscape? It’s wild out there. We have words that sound the same but are spelled differently. We have words that mean multiple, palpably different things. We, the denizens of the melting pot, have words inherited from seemingly every other language under the stars. It can be a lot to handle. Worse yet, we often ignore the available words with imbued pizazz and lean on the rudimentary and familiar (unforgivable). The following is a list of what I believe to be the best and brightest our humble little language has to offer. Here are my Top 11 Words I’ve ever seen or heard. Enjoy

1. Boondoggle

Definition: noun - A wasteful, worthless project; work of little to no value done with the intent to keep or look busy

I’m sure that all members of the workforce, past and present, can sympathize with this sensation. While nearly every action in a corporate hierarchy is undertaken with intent, the layers of bureaucracy often muddy the waters to the point wherein one is left to question the meaning of the effort. Ever played a game of telephone? It’s famously not the best form of communication and leads to mistakes.

2. Ragamuffin

 

Definition: noun - A ragged, disreputable person; a child in ragged, ill-fitting clothes

Now that I know the definition of this word, I look back on my youth and try to decide if my mother’s frequent use when regarding her own progeny was a slight on me or herself. When I hear the word, I picture Cosette from Les Miz (or, perhaps, an unappetizing breakfast carb).

3. Nincompoop

Definition: noun – A fool; simpleton; idiot

This is a delicious insult. Whether used to refer to some third party or hurled directly at their face, nincompoop is a potent barb. Try partnering it with a couple indelicate adjectives for a real to-the-hilt attack, you loquacious, spasmodic nincompoop. Plus, it’s got poop in it. Hilarious.

4. Gobbledygook

Definition: noun – meaningless or unintelligible speech or writing; jargon used to obscure meaning

If I were a dessert-loving man and was served a plate of gobbledygook, I’d believe I was in a for a real treat. It sounds delicious. However, when you pop on over to the local mechanic for an oil change and he (or she – equal rights and stuff) starts serving you a plate of gobbledygook, run to the hills (or ask to have it explained in a more digestible manner). Fun fact: Gobbledygook is the first language everyone learns. Go ahead, listen closely to the next baby you meet and see if they’re spitting up anything coherent.

5. Thingamajig

Definition: noun – contraption; thingy

Thingamajig is great because the word is a noun, but it is also essentially describing a noun. It is about as vague as a word gets. In fact, it is almost exclusively used to refer to an object in lieu of its actual name because the name is either unknown or temporarily forgotten. It is not yet a dance but, for you creative types out there, I think there’s potential.

6. Hullabaloo

Definition: noun – Uproar; big to-do

🎶A hullabaloo is a big to-do, for him and her and me and you. Travel to your local zoo and you will hear a Cockatoo. Move on through and you will view, a bouncing baby kangaroo. Also see a camel spew but you should stay behind bamboo. Hear our crew coo and moo, up and down the avenue. But you may be left sad and blue, if you don’t wear an open shoe. ‘Cause over in the new bayou, Shamu waits to splash you. 🎶

Anyway, hullabaloo means loud noise. I hope you enjoyed my lyrical poem.

7. Kerfuffle

Definition: noun – Commotion; fuss

Can you imagine if kerfuffle was adopted as a legal term? Say you overhear a police officer use their radio to state that, instead of “disorderly conduct,” there’s a “minor kerfuffle.” You can’t take the word kerfuffle seriously; you just want to wrap your arms around it and hold it tight. It may just be the cutest word for violence ever.

8. Whippersnapper

Definition: noun - Brat; child

Is this what the world was missing? Children are already famously powerless. They have no voting rights, they can’t drive, they don’t even get to pick their own names. Now we’ve gone and crafted a way to refer to a child as a pejorative. Talk about kicking ‘em when they’re down (ha ha, because they’re short). What’s next? We start calling our kitchen accessories lazy (sorry, Susan).

9. Cattywampus

Definition: adjective – Askew; awry; positioned diagonally

Askew is a great word. Cattywampus is better. Whether trudging through the mundanity of straightening a photo frame on the wall or engaging in the high-stakes art of puzzling, there’s no wrong time to take this one out of the bag.

10. Brouhaha

Definition: noun – Commotion; uproar; excitement over a minor or ridiculous cause

Macbeth famously uttered the phrase, “sound and fury, signifying nothing.” That’s kind of what a brouhaha is. To refer to commotion as a brouhaha, is to belittle its very existence. But it does end in laughter, and can’t the world always use a little more laughter?

11. Skedaddle

Definition: verb – Flee; run away hurriedly

If you’re trying to picture skedaddling in action, just imagine the many times that Shaggy and Scooby-Doo encounter a monster and turn the other way to run. The legs spinning in place, the fun, percussive sound effects, everything they’re doing screams skedaddle (even the screams).

Final Thoughts

I can’t even imagine how many words there are in the English language. It is often disheartening to see how frequently people refuse to effort to stray from the same boring, normal, everyday vernacular everyone else is using when we have so many options out there. I’m not a great speller but I don’t let that intimidate me or dissuade me from continuing to venture into the lexiconic waters. As the great Mark Twain once said, “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is a really large matter – it’s the difference between the lightning bug and lightning.” As always, I will leave some words that just missed my list down below. Thanks! Have a great day!

Me, dressed as Mark Twain in 6th Grade, March 2000

Zhuzh

Ballyhoo

Lackadaisical

Shenanigans

Flabbergasted

Sesquicentennial

Whisterneffet

Pumpernickel

Malarkey

Codswallop

Hootenanny

Bamboozled

Effervescent

Discombobulated

Whatchamacallit

Delicatessen