By CJ Tiernan Back before we had our food hand delivered to our doorstep, we left our little homes and went and picked it up ourselves. But we didn’t completely encumber ourselves with the Sisyphean task of acquiring ready-to-eat snacks. Nope. We used the drive-thru (see also: drive-through). One simply placed their order from the comfort of their vehicle and moseyed around back to pick it up from a window carved in the side of a building. Pure, magisterial splendor. Since

By CJ Tiernan Consider this: statistically speaking, you will consume more meals whilst seated at a table than any other piece of furniture. Did I just blow your mind or what? A table is a landing pad for both food and active, practical storage. Sometimes it’s for meals, other times it’s for laundry or gaming. Sometimes you put a lamp on it or (back in the day, at least) a landline. Tables are everywhere and (outside of a Buffalo Bills tailgate) often built to stand the tes

By CJ Tiernan Whether employed as a dipping sauce, or slathered atop a dish like special shampoo on a lice kid, the condiment is an essential piece on the cuisine checkerboard. It can supplement, enhance, or straight-up drown-out the flavor of the food in question. I’m a big condiment guy. I’ve been known to apply liberally. I’m the guy at a restaurant who orders an extra side of sauce before the meal even comes because, c’mon son, one little container? Who do you think I a

By CJ Tiernan In honor of Thanksgiving this week, I have decided to create a list of my favorite American foods. These are foods that were invented here in the United States, as opposed to imported or transplanted. Some of these are next door neighbors to foods from other countries, but that's what makes America great. We are one big melting pot for global cultures. Nevertheless, it is fun to think there are some traditions that are inherent to this land (America. It's beauti

By CJ Tiernan To quote Michael Scott: "Pizza. The great equalizer. Rich people love pizza. Poor people love pizza. White people love pizza. Black people love pizza." Pizza is awesome and everyone that doesn't have some allergy to one of its ingredients, loves the stuff. Below I've crafted a quick list of my 11 favorite toppings on a pizza. 1. Pepperoni This one is the best and it is the most popular for a reason. It's weird because, unlike a lot of the other things on this li