By CJ Tiernan Movies that cram the whole 2 hours into one day hold a special level of charm. It is a subset of a genre that, when done right, may sneak up on you. You may not even realize that you've just watched events unfold in near real time. There are comedies, action flicks, and thrillers on this list. You can very easily feel the urgency that leads to a movie transpiring over a very thin slice of life. Below is a list of my very favorite movies that take place in a single day or 24 hour period. Spoiler Alert: there are actually 14 movies on this list. Your welcome! 1. Death at a Funeral (2007) This is a British comedy and one of the funniest movies ever made. The director, Frank Oz (director of "Bowfinger" and "Little Shop of Horrors"; puppeteer and voice of Yoda and several Muppets), delivers a non-stop barrage of chaos. The story takes place during a funeral, where revelations abound and family members butt heads. It feels like a throw back to the comedies of yore. Peter Dinklage and Alan Tudyk crush it in this one (Dinklage to such a high degree that they brought him back for the American remake a few years later). 2. Die Hard (1988) You seen this Die Hard? It's awesome! Bruce Willis plays John McClane, a NY cop who travels to LA to visit his estranged wife. He ends up interrupting a Christmas Eve party that has already been pre-interrupted by terrorists. It is an action movie for the ages with iconic lines. It also introduced the world to Alan Rickman. And yes, it's a Christmas movie! Ho. Ho. Ho. 3. Speed (1994) This is a thrilling action movie where stars Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock are trapped on a bus that will explode if the speedometer dips below 55 MPH. Dennis Hopper and Jeff Daniels help round out a great cast. This is a non-stop thriller from start to finish. 4. The Pagemaster (1994) The Pagemaster is a fantastical movie that is part animated and part live-action. It also might be a pro-library propaganda piece like those old Sinbad posters that told you math was power, but let us not get caught in the weeds. Macaulay Culkin has glasses and, as such, is unable to ride his bike in the rain. He takes refuge in a library where the books take him on a fantastical journey, fomented by the incomparable Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd as a librarian with sick Civil War era facial hair). 5. Cloverfield (2008) A found-footage monster movie in New York City. I don't think you need more than that to stop reading and rush to find it on streaming (Paramount+ at the time of publishing this list) so I'm not even going to try. 6. Clue (1985) Clue is a really fun movie. A whodunnit murder-mystery based on a board game sounds like a gamble, but if you saw "Barbie" (2023) or the "The Lego Movie" (2014) you know that, when done well, movies based on toys can work. This movie is really funny and full of comedy legends like Madeline Kahn, Tim Curry, Christopher Lloyd, and Michael McKean. The film has multiple endings, which is both a fun twist on a movie and a delightful hat-tip to the game. 7. Airplane! (1980) One of the fun things about a comedy, is how they live on by being quoted over and over again. When I was in High School, "Anchorman" and "Napoleon Dynamite" were quoted endlessly throughout the halls. I feel confident no movie has ever been more quotable than "Airplane!." As the movie came out 8 years before I was born, I missed the window to hear this one quoted by the student body en masse. However, it possesses the staying power to carry on (ha. luggage joke! Like on an airplane). "Airplane!" is a dense jungle of one-liners that will always be worth your time. 8. Phone Booth (2002) Colin Farrell is onscreen for like the entire movie. It's pretty much just him and Kiefer Sutherland's voice, with a dash of the Forest Whitaker eye. The movie is a white-knuckle thriller. Colin is in a phone booth with Kiefer's sniper rifle trained on him, ready to fire if he hangs up or disobeys orders. It's been a while since I watched this one but it is a great movie. 9. Superbad (2007) Jonah Hill and Michael Cera star as High School seniors trying to party and live it up before they graduate. Obviously, it doesn't go according to plan. It is an all-time funny movie. McLovin (the twenty-five-year-old organ donor from Hawaii) is a character that lives on well after the movie came out. It was loosely based on the lives of the writers: Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. 10. The Polar Express (2004) Tom Hanks plays almost everybody (like Eddie Murphy in those movies where Eddie Murphy plays everybody). The twist is that it uses motion capture so no prosthetics were required. This is one of my favorite Christmas movies ever. A smattering of children entrust their safety to strangers with hot chocolate and ride a train to the North Pole to cling to their child-like sense of wonder and the spirit of Christmas. All this, while also engaging in shenanigans along the way to help improve their foibles. The movie is wonderfully quotable (though the cynical among you may be put off by the uncanny valley effect Robert Zemeckis seems to want to employ in all his movies this millennium). 11. Hocus Pocus (1993) Hocus Pocus: a Disney Halloween movie. I saw this movie many times as a kid. It is so much fun! I watched it on a VHS copy that we had recorded from TV. We did that with a lot of movies and TV shows in the late 80s and throughout the 90s (I hope the statute of limitations is up on that one). A small group of teens accidentally resurrect a triptych of witch sisters, portrayed by Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy. Good fun for the whole family. 12. Booksmart (2019) Directed by Olivia Wilde (Thirteen from House), this movie is another fun teen comedy. It features two bright High School seniors, stringent rule followers throughout their time in school, opting to break free and cut loose the night before graduation. Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever star as the main girls in this one and they knock it out of the park. It is a fun ride. 13. Unstoppable (2010) In Boy Meets World, Ethan Suplee played a bully nicknamed "The Enforcer." In this movie, he plays a lazy man who accidentally creates a runaway train situation (no relation to the Soul Asylum song). Denzel Washington and Chris Pine then team up to stop the train. Unstoppable is a non-stop (I mean, obviously) adrenaline ride from start to finish. The director, Tony Scott, has done other action movies like Enemy of the State, True Romance, and the original Top Gun. This was his last movie and absolutely one of his best. 14. 12 Angry Men (1957) This is the oldest movie on this list by far. It is also my favorite movie released before 1960 ever (admittedly, I haven't seen very many. Check my Top 11 on the subject here). This movie transpires in a jury room, as the titular jurors convene to determine the verdict on a murder trial. It takes place on a warm summer day, and you can feel not only the heat in the room, but the weight of what it means to find someone guilty. It is a perfectly crafted legal drama by Sidney Lumet. It's like the movie version of a bottle episode in a TV show. Final Thoughts A lot of the movies on this list are tense, thrilling, and action-packed. It is a hallmark of playing out the action over the course of a single day. It is less of a gimmick, and more of an opportunity to help the audience feel the stakes. I'm a huge fan of the format, as every movie on this list is in my Top 250 movies of all time. Please let me know in the comments if I missed any of your favorites. The reason I have 14 movies on the list is because I realized I missed a few the first time I created this list and I didn't feel like deleting words I'd already written. Instead I turned it into a much more conventional Top 14 list. I will list a few of the movies that just missed my list below. In case you're curious, I didn't include any time loop movies. They tend to end by finally getting to the next day, so they don't quite fit the format. Don't worry, at some point I will give my Top 11 Time Loop Movies. Dredd (2012) Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) Bullet Train (2022) Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) Arthur Christmas (2011) Panic Room (2002) Alien (1979) Buried (2010) United 93 (2006) Nerve (2016) The Breakfast Club (1985) Zathura (2005)

By CJ Tiernan Over the years, my vernacular has become heavily populated with movie lines. There are certain circumstances that arise which you can more or less set your timepiece to me delivering a line from a movie, like Woody with a pull string. Off the dome, I’m remembering “Reach for the sky,” “This town ain’t big enough for the two of us,” “There’s a snake in my boot,” and “Somebody poisoned the waterhole.” In that sense, I'm a walking if-then statement. One’s youth is often labelled their “formative years.” It is, therefore, no coincidence that you will find my list is super saturated with movies that were released prior to my gaining the eligibility to vote. Below is the list of the Top 11 movies I believe I quote the most. Please enjoy! I have included some of the quotes I use most often from each movie. 1. The Emperor's New Groove (2000) Disney initially intended for this to be a wildly different movie. Praise the Lord for rewrites. It became one of not only the funniest animated movies of all time but one of the funniest movies period. I simply smile every time I think about the gift that is this movie. Also, Patrick Warburton’s voice as Kronk is perfection. · Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall. Yep. Sharp rocks at the bottom? Most likely. Bring it on. – Kuzco/Pacha · Yeah, weird. – Kronk · Why do we even have that lever? – Yzma · Why do they even have that lever? – Kuzco · You know, it's a good thing you're not a big, fat guy or this would be really difficult. – Kuzco · Seems like a pretty crucial conjunction to me – Chaca · Is that my voice? Is that MY voice? – Yzma · I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the emperor’s groove – Guard · Beware, the groove – Old Man · Boom, baby – Kuzco · Hey, I’ve been turned into a cow. Can I go home? – Guard · Or, to save on postage, I’ll just poison him with this – Yzma · My spinach puffs – Kronk · Squeak, squeakin', squeak, squeakity – Kronk · On second thought, make my potatoes a salad – Yzma · No, no, no. He’s got a point – Angel Kronk on Shoulder · By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense – Kronk · What the… how long has that been there – Kuzco · [Kronk doing his own theme music] – Kronk · What are the odds that trap door led down here? – Kronk · Smash it with a hammer – Yzma · Kuzco’s poison, the poison for Kuzco - Kronk 2. Surf Ninjas (1993) Ernie_Reyes_Jr.jpg: Rubensteinderivative work: Tabercil, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons If you strictly adhere to critical reviews from Rotten Tomatoes, this is not one you’ve likely seen. For me, this is the movie I’ve seen more than any other movie ever. I love it. It was my favorite movie growing up. It is really neck and neck between this one and The Emperor’s New Groove for most quoted. My brother and I can basically quote the whole movie back and forth. · Motosurf! – Johnny · Kwantsu, dudes! - Adam · Seriously, if you don't want chives, I won’t put them in. Well, I like chives bro. – Johnny/Iggy · Just this once, I’d like to be wrong – Cop · So where is Spain? It could be here - Adam · They tried to make me find Spain once. I said it could be anywhere. – Johnny · What if I lose this power? – Iggy · It means, like, free beer or something – Adam · Chick’s got a veil, dude’s gotta bail. If she’s afraid to show it, she’s probably not…very attractive – Johnny/Iggy · Probably that dumb cat knocking something over. We have a cat? – Mac/Adam · Newsflash! Your side lost! – Johnny · I swallowed it last Tuesday. Whoa, how'd you know you were gonna need it? I swallow it every Tuesday. - Lt. Spence/Adam · Money can’t buy knives – Iggy · Remember the guy you said would come if we didn’t eat our vegetables? He’s here – Adam · Our buddy Long John Silver here left the gas running. Real bright! I mean, what if the house blows up? – Iggy · Hey, I found Waldo! Really? Psych! – Johnny/Zatch · Colonel Chi is wise, Colonel Chi is all-knowing – Brainwashing Public Address Loop played for Prisoners · Aw c'mon! I had some moves in me too! – Iggy · Yeah right, you never surfed a day in your life – Johnny · We all know, it’s like a big joke - Adam · Adam, you’re driving! Aint it bitchin’? – Johnny/Adam · Alright, I want you to keep one eye on the kids and one eye on the… well... just do the best you can – Iggy · Like this: they have taken him – Zatch 3. 3 Ninjas (1992) / 3 Ninjas Kick Back (1994) 3 Ninjas is the oldest movie on the list. We owned it on VHS when I was a kid. The paper sleeve thing in which it was housed more or less disintegrated due to frequent consumption. I would love to go back and count the number of times someone says the word “dude.” Oh, and I’d metaphorically kill for access to the costumes. What a time capsule! I doubled up here because they are largely the same movie in my mind and couldn't always remember which quote was from which movie. · Rocky loves Emily. Rocky loves Emily. – Colt and Tum Tum · First we feast, then we felony – Fester · Slurpee? Radical! – Fester/Hammer · I won’t eat dog poop – Tum Tum · Instant diarrhea – Colt · We should run. We should hide. We should kick their butts. Rocky/Colt/Tum Tum · We don't wanna hurt you, we just wanna KIDNAP you – Fester · Freeze, Snyder! FBI! – FBI Agent · God, I love being the bad guy – Hugo Snyder · Let’s murderlize ‘em – Tum Tum · Catch the ball, not the weenie – Coach · The game is the ball – Ump · Wait ‘til the target gets as big as a melon - Grandpa · Nurse Shibuya will see you now – Kind Nurse · We forgot Glam! He’s here! – Slam · Mmm, Lemon Meringue – Slam · Four strands of rope – Grandpa 4. School of Rock (2003) This is, pure and simple, a Jack Black vehicle. He is perfect in this role and milks it for all it’s worth. It is an incredible comedy. Interestingly, the real Ned Schneebly is played by Mike White, (who also wrote the movie) the creator of the TV show The White Lotus. The movie was directed by Richard Linklater, who famously helmed the “Before” trilogy, Boyhood, and Dazed and Confused. · And Cello, it’s a bass – Dewey Finn · I’m not cool enough – Lawrence · StickItToTheManIosis – Dewey Finn · Math is a really cool thing. So get off your ath, let's do some math! Math, math, math, math, math. – Dewey Finn · Excuse me: I've just been informed that all of your children are missing, so… – Principal Mullins · This is Ned Schneebly – Dewey Finn · Nice pipes, Tomika – Dewey Finn · You’re the bee’s knees. The cat’s pajamas – Dewey Finn · You’re a fat loser and you have bad body odor – Lawrence · Step off! Step off! – Zack Mooneyham 5. Hitch (2005) Hitch is a great Rom Com and a very funny movie. If I recall correctly, it was one of Kevin James first forays outside of playing Doug Heffernan on the The King of Queens. It may also be Will Smith’s last great movie (man, did that guy have a run in the ‘90s). · This is home – Alex Hitchens · I said you come 90 and then I’LL come 10 – Alex Hitchens · Albert Brennaman – Alex Hitchens 6. Wild Wild West (1999) Action and comedy are a perfect combination. While some of the adult humor missed me when I watched this one back in the day, I quite love it. It’s ridiculous and a ton of fun. I also had no idea at the time who Ted Levine, M. Emmet Walsh (great name!), and Kenneth Branagh were. · I have but one request: that you aim for my heart, my heart which has loved this country so much. Shoot him in the head. – Artemis Gordon/ Dr. Arliss Loveless · There’s something funny about that damn rope – Lynch mob participant · Get out of my way. Get out of my way. Ooh Ess Army. Ooh Ess Marshall. – Miss Lippenrieder · I was hoping, I was hoping… that I wouldn’t have to break your nose. – Jim West · If we are pursuing Loveless, than why is he behind us? – Artemis Gordon · I’m Artemis Gordon, how did you know? – Artemis Gordon · I haven’t seen him in a coon’s age – Dr. Arliss Loveless · I just made that up – Jim West · Four of a kind always beats a pair – Dr. Arliss Loveless · The butcher of New Liberty – Jim West · Names West, James West, so remember the name – Jim West 7. A Bug's Life (1998) Absolutely one of Pixar’s finest here. Also, the short film that preceded it was the one with the old man playing chess in the park. That was by far the best short. The cast in thing is stacked with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, David Hyde Pierce, Dave Foley, Richard Kind, Kevin Spacey, Denis Leary, Bonnie Hunt, Brad Garrett, a young Hayden Panettiere, and, of course, John Ratzenberger. · Princess Atta! Princess Atta! – Flick · Strictly BYOB – Flick · The bird will work – Flick · Pretend that’s a seed. - Flick · But it’s a rock. – Dot · I can’t help it. It’s so beautiful - Mosquito · I only got twenty-four hours to live, and I ain't gonna waste it here – Fly · Bartender: Bloody Mary, O-Positive – Mosquito · They’ll only laugh at me – Slim · I’m a beautiful butterfly – Heimlich · Why didn’t I think of that? Oh, because it’s suicide! – Queen · All right, who ordered the Poo Poo Platter? – Waitress · It's a bug-eat-bug world out there, Princess – Hopper · They come, they eat, they leave – Princess Atta · Flaming Death! – P.T. Flea · You’re sweet. You’re wrong, but sweet – Princess Atta · You lied to her. You lied to the colony. You lied to me. – Princess Atta · This is nothing compared to the twig of ’93 – Supervising Ant · We are gonna knock. them. dead. – Francis · Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis – Slim · Have you been playing all summer? You think this is a game? Well, guess what. You. Just. Lost. – Hopper 8. Small Soldiers (1998) Tommy Lee Jones possess the vocal gravitas to play a CGI action figure that has come to life and make him menacing. This movie is delicious and fun and I hope you got to see it before your brain fully developed and muted the unbridled joy part of cerebral town. · Mine’s GIZMO – Irwin Wayfair · Greetings! I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites – Archer · You put munitions chips in toys? – Irwin Wayfair · There will be no mercy – Major Chip Hazard · Phil? Phil? Phil? I love this song – Marion Fimple · Greetings, Alan NowShutUp – Archer · Alan Abernathy, (330)555-0125 – Alan Abernathy · Whoa. Whoa? What’s whoa? No, like WHOA – Larry Benson/Irwin Wayfair 9. Polar Express (2004) This is my most quoted Christmas movie. The visuals are heaps of fun, and Tom Hanks plays nearly every adult, but also the movie has heart (and great songs). The key to a good Christmas movie is heart (and a Dickens-esque turn from curmudgeon to compassionate). · Better fix that hole in your pocket – Santa · Why, to the North Pole of course! This is the Polar Express – The Conductor · Caribou!? – Smokey · Hey, Hot Chocolate! – The Conductor · The first gift of Christmas! – Santa · These tickets... are not... transferable – The Conductor · We got time to kill – Know-It-All · [Honking noises at Caribou while getting beard pulled] - Steamer 10. Dunston Checks In (1996) Jason Alexander plays a single father who manages a hotel. His two kids live in the hotel and basically get free run of the place. A five-star hotel! That’d be so cool! Also, there’s a monkey, the guy from the calypso scene in Beetlejuice, and Pee Wee Herman. · …but until that time, you are both grounded – Robert Grant · I’m Lionel Spalding – Lionel Spalding · Pongo Pygmaeus – La Farge · Lord Rutledge – Robert Grant · Mrs. Dubrow – Lionel Spalding 11. The Master of Disguise (2002) The Master of Disguise was…not critically well received. I saw it the summer before I started High School. My late grandfather took me and some of my siblings to see it in the theater. It was (and to date still is) the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a movie in the theater. I don’t know if I would feel differently if I saw it now, but I really enjoyed it then and wouldn’t trade that memory for anything. · I’m going to be a master of disguise. I’m going to be a master of disguise. – Pistachio Disguisey · Am I going to fast for ya? – Texas Man · Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club. Turtle, turtle, turtle! – Pistachio Disguisey · This is what you’re doing…this is what I want you to do – Pistachio Disguisey · Crazy, Papa. It’s so crazy it just might work – Pistachio Disguisey · You are trying to horn in in my action, aren't cha? – Pistachio Disguisey · Brave Barney Baker – Pistachio Disguisey · Why don’t you get away from me, Donkey? Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout get away from you? I’m making waffles – Pistachio Disguisey I would wager that the movie lines that have become iconic over the years are often a surprise to the person that originally came up with them. You just never know what will stick with people and stand the test of time. I know my list is a very unique collection. It is the miss-matched socks of the quote collection game. And yet, I’m proud of it. It may be a weird collection, but isn’t personality just a weird collection of thoughts and experiences? What offbeat, weird, unexpected movies do you quote all the time? Please let me know in the comments. Thanks! Here’s a not-so-small list of movies that just missed my Top 11. Meet the Robinsons (2007) O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) Wallace & Grommit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005) Dudley Do Right (1999) Richie Rich (1994) My Cousin Vinny (1992) Home Alone (1990) A Goofy Movie (1995) Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009) Bruce Almighty (2003) Good Burger (1997) Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) Angels in the Outfield (1994) Atlantis (2001) Catch Me if You Can (2002) The Pagemaster (1994) Recess: School's Out (2001)

By CJ Tiernan I haven't seen a lot of movies from this range of time. I was born in 1988, so movies from 1969 on back weren't regularly ones I would stumble upon. In fact, a majority of the movies on this list were ones I saw as a kid (as five of them are animated). I'd say they're all rated G or PG, but some of them came out so long ago they predate the MPAA. That may or may not be true, but the rating system back in the day was crazy. Have you seen "Splash"? That movie is rated PG, came out in 1984, and Daryl Hannah is naked for like half the movie (great flick!). Anyways, this is a list of my Top 11 movies that were released during or before the '60s. 1. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) This movie is only 26 minutes long, and yet it is not the shortest movie on my list (stay tuned for #8). It is based upon the same Dr. Seuss story as the Ron Howard/Jim Carrey movie from 2000. It is fantastic and one of the best Christmas movies of all time. It features Boris Karloff as the sinister Grinch (and the woman that played Cindy Lou Who, June Foray, is the same woman that played Rocky from Rocky and Bullwinkle). He didn't do the singing, though. That was done by a man named Thurl Ravenscroft (which is perhaps the only name that is even more ominous than Boris Karloff). Remember that moment where the heart grows three sizes that day and breaks the frame of the x-ray machine? I love cartoon math like that. 2. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) John, CC BY-SA 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons Part musical, part horror story, "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" is a classic. I loved this movie as a kid. I've said this before, but I'm a huge fan of inventors in movies. The movie starts with a robust Rube Goldberg machine designed for breakfast use. If you haven't seen the movie, do yourself a favor. It has a flying car, a beach scene where they all wear old timey bathing suits, and, of course, the main character of the majority of my nightmares as a kid. If you are a young, do not watch this movie: the Child Snatcher is what comes for you when you don't eat your vegetables. 3. 12 Angry Men (1957) This is a fantastic law/courtroom movie. It is in black and white, which is a down vote for me because, you know, they'd invented color already (get with the times). Nevertheless, the story is great. It features the titular human beings deliberating on a hot summer afternoon in the jury room about the guilt or innocence of a teenager. Stakes are high, as a guilty verdict = the electric chair. We learn about biases and the backstories of the men as we swelter in the heat alongside them. It starts as a seemingly cut-and-dry case and devolves into anything but. You simply must see this one at least once. The first time I watched it was in Careers class in 8th grade. It was our last class before winter break (the artist formerly known as Christmas break). I love when they show movies instead of teaching you stuff (or maybe, we learned more than we ever could have imagined...). 4. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) Stop-Motion Animation alert! This movie checks so many boxes. Christmas movie. Check. Musical. Check. Underdog reindeer marooned on an island of misfit toys. Check. Plus, if you check out my Top 11 Fictional Character Names list, you'll find Yukon Cornelius has a prominent seat at the table. Is an elf that pines to be a dentist not the most delightfully unexpected back story in a Christmas movie? When every Christmas movie is based on Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol," it can be difficult to find new ground but here you go. Pure gold! (Or, as sung by Burl Ives: "Silver and Gold"). 5. Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) Wikipedia refers to this movie as a "screwball black comedy crime film." I thought about it for a second and couldn't come up with a better classification. Cary Grant's brother is under the impression that he is Teddy Roosevelt while his aunts are big time serial killers in their old age, dishing out a dose of the titular element on the periodic table (with a dash of strychnine and cyanide sprinkled in). The aunts are soon joined in the residence by another serial killer and you simply must watch to find out what happens next. 6. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954) Kirk Douglas (who has the most magical of butt chins) stars in this movie based on the book by Jules Verne. He is party to a quest to find a mythical sea monster, which results in an alternate discovery. Disney actually made this movie, though it has a dark and brooding vibe that doesn't mesh with the bright and shiny vibe you associate with them today. Captain Nemo is especially haunted. Worth a peek if you've got Disney+. (Seriously, that butt chin is almost more of a bullet hole chin). 7. Alice in Wonderland (1951) There have been a lot of adaptations of Alice in Wonderland. This is the best one. It is crazy trippy in a delightful way. A lot of references hail from this source material, including "down the rabbit hole," "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date," "off with their heads," and the unsettling smile of the Cheshire Cat (to which I frequently liken the moon whilst it waxes and wanes). Some people may not know this, but the Lewis Caroll book upon which this movie is based is called "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." I don't fault you if you didn't know, because the book was written in the 1860s (which is even longer ago than the 1960s). 8. Frosty the Snowman (1969) Here it is. The shortest movie on my list. In fact, it was probably referred to as a "TV Special" in its day. Nope, not for me, dawg. I'm going with movie. A measly 25 minute movie. It is the tale of a snowman that comes to life courtesy of the hat of a magician on a blustery day. Who among us hasn't been there? This snowman has more sense than the one in Frozen, as he is well aware that a lack of winter will inherently bring a lack of snowmen. Incidentally, the cookie duster on that magician is dwarfed only by his 10-gallon chin. 9. Singin' in the Rain (1952) Oh, yeah, I know this one. This is the original source of the song from which this movie is named (FALSE: it was a 1929 movie called "The Hollywood Revue of 1929"). Do you know anything else about this one? The title song is aptly sung in the rain, but to allow the rain to appear on film, they used milk instead (FALSE: They actually used water. That myth, however skin curdling, is untrue). It IS a musical that follows three actors during Hollywood's transition from silent films to "talkies." It features delightful song and dance numbers. As we all know, no one has ever felt threatened when their industry went in an entirely different direction (FALSE: Black Bears). 10. The Wizard of Oz (1939) You've seen this one. We've all seen this one. It's impossible to not have seen this one. This is one of the most magical films of all time. In a year that featured such films as "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" and the Academy Award winner for Best Picture (called Outstanding Production back then) "Gone with the Wind," "The Wizard of Oz" has proven to be the most enduring. With themes of going home, Heart, Courage, and Brains, this movie has universal appeal. Plus, (Spoiler Alert) I bet in the 30's that transition from black and white to color really slapped. 11. The Jungle Book (1967) This animated Disney movie musical is based on the book by Rudyard Kipling. It is in place to answer the question, what happens when a person is raised by wolves? The answer, as it turns out, is they become a sensitive man-cub that likes to sing along with musically talented animals. My favorite song from this one is "I Wan'na Be Like You," sung to righteous perfection by Louis Prima, but this movie is full of bops like "The Bare Necessities" and "Trust in Me." Final Thoughts You know, we harp on movies these days, declaring nothing is original. People will rail on all the prequels, sequels, reboots and remakes and wonder where the original ideas lie. However, in pouring through my Top 11 movies from pre-1970, we have a slew of movies based on books and stage productions. Me thinks, perhaps, originality died with Billy Shakespeare. Alas, whatcha gonna do. I haven't seen many movies that came out this long ago, so it is very possible I have some holes in my game. Please let me know in the comments if I missed any of your favorites. Thanks!

By CJ Tiernan Although called names like geeks, dweebs, dorks, or bookworms, the studious character of the movie is often a fan-favorite. Whether they are helping the main character save the day, or accomplishing something great themselves, we love the movie nerd. This is my love letter to the nerds of the world! Below is a list of my 11 favorite characters in movies that exhibit the nerd qualities we've all come to know and love. 1. Doc Brown - Christopher Lloyd Back to the Future (1985) He built a time machine out of a DeLorean. He took a car with gull-wing doors and added a flux capacitor. It may just be the coolest thing in the history of film. Step aside, James Dean, because here comes the DeLorean. He sports a Hawaiian shirt under a white lab coat (which is adorned with a pocket protector) and is rocking multiple watches. Dr. Emmett Brown is the quintessential mad scientist, only he uses his powers for good. Well, he did steal Plutonium from the Libyans, but we'll call that a moral grey area. 2. Hermione Granger - Emma Watson Harry Potter (2001-2011) She's a wizard. An extremely talented wizard. If I was a wizard, I don't think I would read as much as she does. She does so much reading. Hermione is the quintessential bookwork. Early on, her extensive knowledge casts her as a social pariah (plus her status as a Muggle-born didn't help). Harry and Ron quickly learn to use her knowledge to their benefit, courtesy of the whole "Troll Bogeys" situation. She is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge while also in possession of quick wit and a logical demeanor. She is one of the braver nerds you will ever see. 3. Wayne Szalinski - Rick Moranis Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) Here we have a master inventor. This is a man that has accidentally shrunk his own kids, his baby, the audience, and himself. He needs to invest in a safety button or some sort of two-factor authentication process to prevent these mishaps. Apart from the mistakes that launch the plot of every film, he seems to be a pretty sound inventor. He created a shrinking machine and a growing machine. Wayne Szalinski was also big on inventions that you can strap to a helmet. In fact, he was ahead of his time in making a camera and a phone hands-free. The grooming helmet still hasn't taken off yet, though. 4. Peter Parker - Tom Holland Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) He may be a superhero with super powers, but he is still in High School. Peter Parker has to protect his superhero alter ego so his peers don't get to know the coolest part about him. However, he is kinda brilliant. While his tech comes mostly from Tony Stark in the MCU, in most iterations of the character, he creates it himself. He is a genius in several fields of science and engineering. He also expertly exhibits the socially awkward characteristics we've come to associate with a nerd. For this reason, we can be thankful that the term "nerd" has largely shifted from purely a pejorative to a characteristic to be praised. 5. Evie - Rachel Weiz The Mummy (1999) "I... am a Librarian" is her proud proclamation early in the film. While true, Evelyn is underselling it here. She has a rich, studied knowledge of ancient Egypt and is sought time and again for helpful information during the exploration of the ancient City of the Dead: Hamunaptra. While reading hieroglyphs in the famed Book of the Dead (which she kinda sorta stole), she might have kinda sorta accidentally awoken an ancient mummy. Evie geeks out over all things ancient Egypt and is a bookworm. She also brings a real "adorkable" energy to the movie. 6. Rich Purnell - Donald Glover The Martian (2015) "Houston, be advised: Rich Purnell is a steely-eyed missile man." The "Rich Purnell Maneuver" is a last-ditch Hail Mary attempt to save the stranded Mark Watney from the surface of Mars. Rich, himself, is an astrodynamicist who discovers this maneuver whilst he is supposed to be working on something else. This is the rare onscreen nerd portrayed as on the autism spectrum. He has a brilliant mind and still has to "borrow" super-computer time to confirm his calculations on his strategy. He harbors a small but important role in "The Martian," which is one of my favorite movies ever... and one of my favoirte books ever...from one of my favorite authors ever. 7. Homer Hickam - Jake Gyllenhaal October Sky (1999) Homer Hickam is the first movie nerd to appear on my list that is also a real person. Based on the book Rocket Boys, "October Sky" told the story a young man who wants to become a rocket scientist against the wishes of his coal miner father. Fun fact: "October Sky" is an anagram of "Rocket Boys." Spoiler Alert: the young man did indeed eventually work for NASA in real life. It is a beautiful story of making dreams a reality and the power of persistence. Forced to overcome his father's resentment for what he does, he and his friends get crafty and rely on a great number of the members of their small town to make their work possible. 8. Lyle - Seth Green The Italian Job (2003) Seth Green's character in this movie (sorry, I never saw the original) is your prototypical "guy in the chair." This is a long-lasting trope in movies and television that feature a remote individual assisting the mission. Ned calls himself this in the Spider-Man movies. Felicity Smoak in "Arrow" is a great example. Luther in the "Mission: Impossible" movies is another great example of the "man in the van" trope. I'm a sucker for Lyle. Everything is so high-tech and effortless. The movie revolves around revenge for a double-cross and trying to get back at their saboteur. The big heist at the end is a gold heist involving Mini Coopers. It's sick! Lyle's role involves being on the cameras and relaying info to the crew. He is able to deduce which car to follow based on ride height and can manipulate traffic by controlling the stop lights. He is the tech wizard. Also, he is nicknamed "Napster" because he claims to have invented Napster. 9. Fogell a.k.a. McLovin - Christopher Mintz Plasse Superbad (2007) A 25-year-old organ donor from Hawaii, McLovin is epic. Fogell is a classic High School nerd, as he is too socially awkward to successfully fit in, despite his attempts. Seth and Evan repeatedly mock him, making him one of the most persecuted nerds on the list. Nevertheless, he maintains a positive and upbeat attitude. He is also capable of cutting loose and getting wild at a party. Behind Spider-Man, Fogell has the second greatest alter ego on my list. 10. Indiana Jones - Harrison Ford Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) John Griffiths, CC BY-SA 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons As a professor of archeology, Indiana Jones is absolutely a nerd. The costume department does their damnedest to make him look nerdy at the start of the film. Inevitably, the coolness of Harrison Ford seeps out. Much like in "The Mummy," it is knowledge of history and ancient artifacts that trigger the whole adventure. He is the rare nerd that is seemingly equally adept at both operating in the field and performing in the classroom. Has anyone ever made the bullwhip look cooler than Indy? 11. Tina Belcher - Dan Mintz The Bob's Burgers Movie (2022) Tina's two biggest passions are horses and butts (and Jimmy Jr.). She has written fan fiction stories on both (and probably mashed them together). She is incredibly socially awkward. Her noise (the anxiety-induced "uhhhhhh") might be the second most iconic nonsense word in cartoons behind Homer Simpsons' "D'oh!" While she is predominantly a TV character, there was a movie, so I can count her as a movie character. She is a unique nerd, in that her skillset doesn't really include academic success. It is more her fixation on certain topics (again, a lot of erotic fan fic.) and social awkwardness that drive her into that particular bucket. Final Thoughts The movie nerd is a cinema staple. I don't think I know a lot about any one subject, so I'm always enamored with those who are brilliant and savvy in one particular area. As you can see, they don't need to originate there to become iconic. I had characters on my list that started in TV shows, comic books, and novels. I'm sure you have a favorite nerd that didn't make the list. Please let me know in the comments below. Thanks!

By CJ Tiernan I like to watch TV shows that make me laugh. Some of the most fun comedy is the comedy that is born of breaking free the previously established conventions or commenting on the standard conventions and styles. Meta means self-referential, as in referencing itself or its own genre. Below, I've compiled a list of the TV Shows I consider to be the most meta, or best at being self-referential. Please enjoy and feel free to offer up your own list in the comments. Again, just to clarify, these ranking are not my favorite TV shows that are meta, but the shows I've seen that I found to be the most meta, ranked in the degree to which I deemed their meta-ness. 1. Phineas and Ferb Years: 2007-2015, 2025-present Seasons (Episodes): 5 (150) This animated show follows two young brothers (the titular Phineas and Ferb) occupying their summer vacation by creating and developing insanely elaborate inventions for the fun and enjoyment of themselves and their neighborhood friends. Their older sister is incessantly attempting to "bust" her brothers by getting their mom to see what the boys are up to. From building a rollercoaster to dimension hopping, these boys are brilliant and completely oblivious to their sisters attempts to thwart them. They are also completely oblivious to the fact their pet Platypus (Perry) is a secret agent constantly stopping the local evil scientist, dressed like a pharmacist, from taking over the tri-state area. The comical rigidity in the formula, along with occasional comments that break the fourth wall, create a delightfully meta experience. 2. The Rehearsal Years: 2022-present Seasons (Episodes): 2 (12) This show breaks the mind with its approach to comedy. It follows Nathan Fielder as someone with a bizarre curiosity and interest in helping real people overcome tricky conversations in their lives. They are specific conversations with someone that need to be had and Fielder, playing a fictionalized version of himself, helps create elaborate sets that painstakingly recreate the location wherein the convo will take place to help work out all the variables. He then hires actors who attempt to play all of the roles in this location to see how it can play out. You've got to see it to feel how odd and uncomfortable and hilarious it is. 3. Community Years: 2009-2015 Seasons (Episodes): 6 (110) Keith McDuffee from Northborough, MA, USA, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons Community refers to a Community College. It follows a study group of seven people from very different walks of life who are going to college at varying ages and for varying reasons. The show is able to alternate between absurd comedy and genuine heart. It also has several episodes that dive headlong into spoofing different genres and styles. The cast is amazing but the character Abed helps this show get this high on the list, as he is a huge movie and TV fan who behaves as though he is in a TV show and comments on the various goings on to riotous effect. They also have some epic running gags. Google the Beetlejuice one! 4. Solar Opposites Years: 2020-present Seasons (Episodes): 5 (53) Another animated show, Solar Opposites follows a group of aliens who behave as a family after crash-landing on Earth. They were sent from their home planet to colonize a new one and are not great at it. They also look like aliens and live life on Earth with very little commentary on their appearance. The show has meta moments all over the place, including in the opening credits where the voice over is done by the the main character and he talks to the audience. There are frequent pop culture references that break the fourth wall and lots of really crazy other stuff, like the growing number of people that are shrunken down and placed in "The Wall." 5. Rick and Morty Years: 2013-present Seasons (Episodes): 8 (81) The second animated show in a row that was co-created by Justin Roiland, Rick and Morty follows a mad-scientist grandfather that brings his grandson with him through various escapades through time and space. He is both a brilliant scientist and a terrible person. I should mention that even though he co-created both shows and voiced the main characters, Roiland was "canceled" and replaced on both this show and Solar Opposites. This show not only makes obscure pop culture references but comments on those references and how obscure they are. They break the fourth wall a lot too. 6. Arrested Development Years: 2003-2006, 2013-2019 Seasons (Episodes): 5 (84) This is a show that follows a dysfunctional family trying to get back on track after the patriarch is imprisoned due to "some light treason." This show is the king of the running gag. Repeated lines by different characters happen throughout an episode or even over the course of a season. The show also has a narrator (Ron Howard!) who breaks the fourth wall, like when he acknowledges that the actress playing a character has changed. This show is one of the funniest shows of all time and extremely rewatchable. 7. 30 Rock Years: 2006-2013 Seasons (Episodes): 7 (138) 30 Rock is a show that follows the behind-the-scenes side of a fictionalized version of Saturday Night Live. It features executives, writers, and performers and their various conflicts with one another. This show constantly breaks the fourth wall and generates self-referential humor and has a character go off his meds and shout that he is on a show within a show and shouts his real name, which is the name of the actor playing the character. 30 Rock even uses music cues to play on classic troupes from other shows. 8. Animaniacs Years: 1993-1998 Seasons (Episodes): 5 (99) This is an animated show with 3 siblings (The Warners) from the golden age of black and white movies and TV that were locked in a water tower for being too zany and when they break out, they prove they were, in fact, too zany. The episodes usually consist of several different cartoon shorts, but the ones that feature Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Warner are full of people you might have found on the Warner Brothers' lot at the time of the show and exorbitant animated hijinx. The characters also break the fourth wall. 9. Supernatural Years: 2005-2020 Seasons (Episodes): 15 (327) This show ran for an incredibly long time for a live-action show and managed to touch on a lot of different tropes. It follows Sam and Dean Winchester as brothers who grew up to follow in their dad's footsteps of hunting demons and other supernatural phenomena around the country. The show often plays things very straight and very serious, which makes the times they go off the rails all the more compelling. In one episode, the characters get mistaken for the actors that play the characters in the TV show. In another episode, their many adventures become a book series and they have tons of swooning fans. They even end up getting sucked into an old TV cartoon. Again, a lot of episodes, but worth it for the delightful meta moments. 10. Family Guy Years: 1999-2002, 2005-present Seasons (Episodes): 24 (445) This animated show follows Peter Griffin and his family and friends in the fictional Rhode Island city of Quahog. Every episode is a vehicle for its signature brand of humor: the flashback. This show constantly makes pop culture references and showcases the humor by throwing to these obscure references. The show also breaks the fourth wall a lot. In one episode, two of the characters travel back in time to the pilot episode of the show. The show runs on Fox and is no stranger to poking fun of its fellow Fox shows. Also worth the watch for the fascinating breadth of characters being voiced by show creator Seth MacFarlane. 11. South Park Years: 1997-present Seasons (Episodes): 27 (333) South Park is an animated show following four Elementary School boys living in a small town outside of Denver, CO. The show is famous for its animation style, which started as construction paper cut-outs of people and places (now done with computers) and its crude language and humor. It has characters that break the fourth wall and reference the show (both on screen and behind-the-scenes). Most memorably, it had an entire episode of generating ideas, only to get the repeated rejection phrase thrown back: "Simpsons did it!" Final Thoughts It was tough bringing the list down to 11, as there are a lot of shows great at self-referential humor. I will include a list at the bottom including the ones that just missed the cut on my Top 11 list. I do quite enjoy most of the shows on this list and highly recommend checking them out. I do feel a slight need to clarify that this list has nothing to do with the artist formally known as "The Facebook", as the company is now also named Meta. Here are some more great meta shows: Episodes (2011-2017) Seinfeld (1989-1998) BoJack Horseman (2014-2020) Scrubs (2001-2010) Spaced (1999-2001)

By CJ Tiernan Normally, I try to create lists to spread positivity in the world. "So shines a good deed in a weary world," if you will. I'm gonna level with you. You probably shouldn't read this list. If you haven't seen these movies, then there are spoilers ahead but, much more pressingly, these are moments in movies that live rent-free in my head. I have essentially compiled a list of things you shouldn't watch if you haven't already seen them. They are gross, graphic, and in almost every instance, involve serious bodily harm or death. There is even a death by suicide. In the immortal words of Andy Bernard (a.k.a. The Nard Dog) "steer clear, Big Tuna. Head for open waters." These scenes shook me to my core and, in many instances, appear so real I can't believe it was fake. The fact that they're all scenes in movies in which no animals were harmed is the thin saving grace to which I cling. Without further ado (and, again, RUN!) here is my list of the Top 11 Most Disturbing Scenes I've ever seen in a movie. WikiNerd97, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons 1. Midsommar (2019) - Cliff Jump Midsommar is the most disturbing movie I've ever seen. My top 2 most disturbing scenes transpire during the same 2 and a half-ish hour movie. The movie itself was fine. It falls somewhere in the middle of my all-time movie list. There are definitely entertaining elements. After watching it, I texted the friend who told me I had to watch it and simply told him "I hate you. What did you make me do?" The first scene here is an old dude that, according to the culture of this weird Scandinavian cult, has to die because he's old. He walks to the top of a cliff and simply walks off the edge. The movie shows him landing in a disturbing pile of human parts. You waltz into a movie that is described as a "horror movie that takes place during daylight hours" and you don't know exactly what to expect. Hand up, I didn't expect this. 2. Midsommar (2019) - Asphyxiation As if the previous entry wasn't a big enough deal-breaker, we have a murder/suicide. A girl kills her parents and herself using some hoses, some duct tape, and the exhaust from a car. I can't begin to describe to you how difficult this is to watch. It is graphic and hits you in, like, the opening credits. You get a whiff of what's happening as soon as you see a fireman turning off a car in a garage, but the horror of following the hoses and actually seeing it? Man, there is just no preparation for that. Woof. 3. Saw 2 (2005) - Needle Pit There are currently 10 movies in the Saw franchise. That is a lot of body horror. I've only ever seen the first two (I actually saw the second Saw in theaters before I got around to watching the first one, which was better). A scene in this movie involves a character falling into a pit of hypodermic needles. While my number one fear is death, I almost feel this specific version of death is worse. I'm not a fan of needles. I do the whole flu shot thing for the good of the colony but, I don't like it and I always look the other way and try to think happy thoughts. If the image of this movie ever pops into my head while I'm dropping in on the doctor, whelp, I'm probably just running away screaming and never coming back. 4. Ghost Ship (2002) - Mass Beheading It's been a long time since I saw Ghost Ship. I don't know if the CGI holds up. I do know that the movie starts with a party atop a cruise ship of some kind and something happens that leads to one of the wires snapping and whipping across the deck in such a way that it cuts through a mass of humanity. It beheads people left and right. The worst part (worse than dying?) is that there is one person left on the boat. There's a little girl that was too short to get beheaded, so she is left to mingle among the beheaded dead instead. [insert an involuntary shiver up the spine here] 5. Green Room (2015) - Broken Arm I've broken a bone before (I know, I know, I need to get this whole bragging thing under control) and I happen to know that it can both be crazy painful and yet, from the outside, look like nothing is wrong. When I went to the hospital to get the X-ray to track down the broken bone(s) in my leg, they couldn't find it. They tortured me by moving my foot around instead of the X-ray thing and then went full Yukon Cornelius and said "nothing." They then whisked me away to get a CT Scan where they said something like "oh, yeah, it's super broken." In the movie Green Room, no need for an X-ray. The bone pops right on out of the skin like the chestburster from Alien and screams hello. You get a real nice gander at all the inner workings there. To quote Brian Regan "it seems like everything on my inside wants to be on my outside." Yuck! 6. Resident Evil (2002) - Lasers This is another one that I don't need to see again, so I'm unclear if the CGI holds up. What I do know, is there is a scene where a group of people are trying to traverse a laser field. One guy doesn't duck and it gets him high. The next guy goes low and the laser moves down on him and gets him low. The third guy (I can't believe they cut this scene out of Goldilocks) is all kinds of ready to jump or duck: the ball is in the laser's court. Well, the laser, which apparently has advanced to Grandmaster-level Chess moves, spreads out in a grid pattern and buzzes through the guy, turning him into cubes. The man gets turned into cubes! I'm mean, no thanks. Hard pass. Not for me, dawg. 7. Hostel (2005) - Achilles Tendons Over the past few years, the Achilles tear has become the new ACL tear in sports. It seems like all the cool kids are doing it. Basketball and Football players are dropping like flies out there. The first time I ever encountered an Achilles issue, was when I saw this movie. The movie itself is meh. It's fine. But there is a scene toward the end where someone is tied up and tortured. His Achilles are cut off-screen. We see the movement and hear it but we don't actually see the cut. Then the man sets the victim free and we see as he tries to flee, he can't run or move. He drops to the floor. We see the separation at the back of the leg. It's icky. 8. 127 Hours (2010) - Arm Speaking of icky, I give you this movie. Now, you know what you're in for in this one when you sign up and sit down. Because it's based on a true story, we know what the ending is. But again, we see the inside of an arm. I'm not a surgeon. I don't need that in my life. I'll take your word for it, thanks. I'll believe you. I'm amenable. 9. Looper (2012) - Limbs Disappearing Looper has one of the wildest dismemberment scenes in the history of cinema. Due to the logic employed with time travel in the world of the movie, actions play out in real time for past and present alike. This leads to a wild scene where a man is being tortured and dismembered in the past and he starts to feel it in the present as parts of his body are just disappearing. It is such a morbid moment. To watch him driving and then walking as parts of him just suddenly cease to exist is wild. Again, don't watch! 10. Frozen (2010) - Broken Legs Extra warning here: if you go into this movie thinking you're watching the Disney animated one from 2013, you're gonna be very shocked. Both movies take place in the snow-covered mountains and that's where the similarity ends. In this movie, a group of three college kids go to a ski lodge on a weekend and convince the ski lift guy to let them go down the hill one more time and the end of the night. However, he leaves his post and tells the guy who takes over about the kids. Due to a mistaken identity kerfuffle, the kids are assumed to have come down the hill and the ski lift is stopped. It leaves the three kids in question stranded on the ski lift too high to drop down. Further exacerbating the problem is that the ski lodge wont open again until Friday (this is on a Sunday). It's a real problem. Well, one of the kids decides to drop as opposed to dying of hypothermia and breaks both legs on the landing. It's nasty and... doesn't end well for him. 11. Minority Report (2002) - Moldy Sandwich This is the only moment on my list that doesn't involve death or life-threatening injury. It is, however, a terrifying and abhorrent scene. Tom Cruise is on the run and just had his eyes surgically swapped out for someone else's so that he can avoid being detected by Big Brother. He has to operate blind while he waits for the eye situation to heal. He needs sustenance (as do we all) and pops into the fridge for a sandwich. However, he ends up with the wrong one (again, he's blind) and bites into this green, nasty, moldy sandwich. It gives me the willy's just thinking about it. I'm the guy in the house who is always throwing away the old bags of bread as soon as I see a trace of green. Sometimes, I just have a clock go off in my head (like a quarterback in the pocket) and eject on the bread before mold is even visible. Mold, man: not even once. Final Thoughts If you made it this far, thank you and I'm sorry. This is a wild list. I don't know why I made it. It just kind of feels like I said, "here are some horrible things I've seen that I think about sometimes. Won't you be my neighbor?" Yikes! What a terrible move. Anyway, if I missed any of the disturbing things in movies that keep you from getting 40 clean winks, please let me know in the comments section. We can be forever unclean together. Thanks!

By CJ Tiernan The Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) was one of the largest undertakings a studio has ever engaged in. At the time of my publishing this list, there are 37 movies that have been released so far, earning more than 32 billion dollars at the box office (Achoo! Sorry, that number is nothing to sneeze at). It is kind of big deal. This particular list is focused on the beginning stages of the MCU (Phases 1 through 3), ranging from the movie that started it all (Iron Man) to the epic conclusion in Avengers: Endgame and the aftermath in Spider-Man: Far From Home. Kevin Feige and his legion of superhero manufacturers have been busy in creating a series of movies that intertwine with one another, while also letting specific heroes get their shine. Needless to say, I love these movies. Below is a list of my Top 11 favorite MCU Movies in the first three phases. This should go without saying but, Spoilers Ahead! 1. Thor: Ragnarok (2017) This is one of the greatest superhero movies of all time. It is also the funniest. Chris Hemsworth as Thor flexes comedic chops that we hadn't gotten to see previously. The visuals are incredible in this movie but it's the way that characters interact with each other throughout the movie that makes it. From sibling rivalry moments between Thor and Loki, to the arena battle with Hulk, to the creation of Korg. Aw man, do I love me some Korg. This rock man is a soft spoken leader of a rebellion. He is comedy gold (voiced by director Taika Waititi). This is also the movie where Thor loses his eye and gets an Odin-esque eye patch. It's a sick (albeit shortlived) look. 2. Iron Man (2008) This movie set the tone for the entire MCU. Director (and portrayer of Happy) John Favreau crafted a fun, stand-alone story that created a monster. Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man is simply one of the greatest casting choices in the history of cinema. His improv at the end wherein he reveals "I am Iron Man" shows such a perfect handle on the character and informs the person Tony Stark is and has become at every turn. Rich guys with an ego can be really one-dimensional in movies and TV shows but Downey Jr. plays it out in three dimensions with aplomb. It's also fascinating that Paul Bettany was cast way back in this movie and he becomes a person (living entity?) later on in the movies and even stars in the TV spinoff WandaVision. 3. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) Thor and Thor: The Dark World had some scenes that took place away from Earth, but this movie was the first one to more or less depart the planet completely. It was a bit of a gamble and a tonal shift but writer/director James Gunn nailed it. So too, did the individual(s) responsible for casting. We already knew Chris Pratt was funny (Parks and Rec) and Zoe Saldaña was a great actress capable of creating an impact in a Sci-Fi epic (Avatar), but Dave Bautista was a revelation. He was a comedic surprise in the best possible way, being I only knew he was a former wrestler (he must have smelled what The Rock was cooking and came on over to the movie side of Hollywood). Throw in voices from Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel and you've got a recipe for success. This movie was awesome and came with an attitude that was a fun and unique entry in the MCU. 4. Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) Speaking of casting, Spider-Man has never been as great as Tom Holland. While my favorite Spider-Man movie is Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (alas, not party to the MCU), his casting is perfection. Andrew Garfield and Toby Maguire were great, but they lacked the believability as high-schoolers. They seemed much more like college students. Holland was believable as a struggling High School student with super powers (as much as one buys into super powers). This movie, and the one that proceeded it, are flip-a-coin levels of close, but I give the edge to this one because of the villain. Jake Gyllenhaal is awesome as a bad guy who can warp reality. The stakes seem higher and I like that more of the people around Peter find out his true identity. 5. Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) In addition to Peter Parker, the casting of the rest of the ensemble is fantastic. Zendaya is delightful as a sardonic MJ and Jacob Batalon as Ned is a scene-stealer. While Spider-Man is introduced to the MCU in Captain America: Civil War, this was the first one to really introduce us to Peter Parker ("Underoos!"). I think it was a fun change of pace that we don't see the origin story of Peter Parker as Spider-Man because it is something the audience has seen so many times that it would have felt unnecessary. Which origin story have we seen more: his or Batman's (talk amongst yourselves in the comments)? 6. The Avengers (2012) Joss Whedon enters the chat. While there has always been some level of comedy in the MCU, Whedon upped the ante. He (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly fame) came in like a wrecking ball and made the MCU genuine action-comedies, laying the groundwork for auteurs like James Gunn and Taika Waititi after him. This was our first taste of the crossover between a lot of the different movies. I think they handle the tone shift well, maintaining the uniqueness of the characters and still giving all of them their space. Plus, Loki as the big bad before we get to Thanos is a delight. Tom Hiddleston as Loki is one of the more underrated aspects of the MCU. 7. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) More Guardians! This movie pretty much starts with one of the funniest fight sequences ever. Baby Groot dances in the foreground while an epic battle rages, almost indecipherably, in the background. All this, whilst we blast some ELO. I like the idea that nothing is sacred. The Ego stuff in the final act drops this movie below the first entry for me, but we do get to meet Mantis. Also, we get a Sly Stallone cameo in this one. Classic! 8. Ant-Man (2015) Paul Rudd is great in everything. You know who else is great in everything? Michael Peña is great in everything (and Randall Park, but he doesn't show up until the sequel). Ant-Man is a fun twist on the standard hero because he starts as a bad guy (while an argument can be made he only stole from people who deserve it, stealing is wrong regardless of context and I reject any justification toward the contrary). He is a thief who has this superhero opportunity foisted upon him after accidentally trying to rob the wrong guy. He grows to be a better man (yada yada yada). I like that, in addition to the young guns the MCU brings in to play the heroes, they also include established actors like Michael Douglas here, the aforementioned Sylvester Stallone, plus Academy Award winners like Anthony Hopkins, Marisa Tomei, Ben Kingsley, Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton, Benicio del Toro, Robert Redford, and Lupita Nyong'o. There are actually even a lot more than that, I just didn't want to waste your time by listing them all. Also, I'm bummed that there was an issue that led to Edgar Wright having to step away from helming this movie. He was slated to direct the movie and is still credited as a writer. Somewhere, there is an alternate world which harbors both the Edgar Wright Ant-Man and Phil Lord and Christopher Miller's Solo: A Star Wars Story. Do you think that universe has discovered world peace? 9. Avengers: Infinity War (2018) I think there's been some serious debate as to which movie was better: Infinity War or Endgame. It is not unlike the debate between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. As was the case then, it is basically a 50-50 in which you can't be wrong because they're both great choices. I give the edge to the surprise of a lack of resolution and the bad guy winning at the end of this one. It is emotionally heavy and no ending has ever left you wanting the next movie more than this one. So many characters we'd become accustomed to just turn to dust and are gone. At the time, we were pretty sure it wasn't forever, but we didn't know for certain. It was a well-executed rug-pull by the Russo Brothers. Everyone just left the theater in silence, like a Good Friday church service. It was eerie. 10. Avengers: Endgame (2019) Time travel, baby! Nothing is ever as cool as time travel. It is the leather jacket of the post-Back to the Future society. The unceremonious demise of Thanos at the beginning of the movie was a little unfulfilling, but that battle at the end. Whoa, baby, that fight at the end! It is an all-timer that may never be topped. So many characters from the proceeding movies show up in a winner-take-all battle through time and space. And then that ending. [insert crying emoji here - the one that isn't also laughing]. Tony Stark goes out with a snap and a bang. It is beautiful. Perfect symmetry to have the character who brought the MCU into our world be the one that goes out on his terms with the victory and the one-liner. When he looks at Dr. Strange (I almost wrote Dr. Strangelove there. That's a very different character) and he holds up that single finger. Uff da, that tears me up (and apparently to such an extent it brings out my Scandinavian roots). 11. Thor (2011) The first entry in the Thor series rounds out my Top 11. The scene where Thor throws down the mug and shouts "another!" gets me every time. Natalie Portman and Stellan Skarsgård are fantastic but Kat Dennings as the comic relief is the scene-stealer extraordinaire. Kenneth Branagh directs this one in a manner that doesn't feel completely separate from some of his Shakespearian works, which I think aides the mythos and the world-building. I like that this movie walks down the path of a nearly indestructible super hero having an ego. It seems to me it would be near-inescapable to let fame and glory go to your head. It does for Thor and nearly costs him everything, but his selfless act returns his ability to wield Mjölnir. I love all of it. Final Thoughts Superhero movies, man. Just magisterial in their scope and breadth. I love 'em all. If you do too, you've probably seen most or all of the MCU movies as well. I ranked them all, so I'll include the rest of phases 1-3 down below. Please let me know in the comments if I missed any of your favorites. Thanks! Captain America: Civil War (2016) Doctor Strange (2016) Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) Captain Marvel (2019) Black Panther (2018) Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) Thor: The Dark World (2013) Iron Man 2 (2010) Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Iron Man 3 (2013) The Incredible Hulk (2008)

By CJ Tiernan Magic Kingdom (or at least Disney World as a whole) is known as "The Happiest Place on Earth" (step aside DMV). It is a magical wonderland full of child-like awe and impossible thrills. You get to enter a piece of history and nostalgia, a world from various Disney properties, and have an uncompromising blast with friends and family. I have everlasting memories of spending time in Disney World, as I was fortunate enough to return over and over again as a kid. The rides on this list are steeped in the joy I first experienced over 30 years ago. Without further ado, these are my Top 11 favorite Rides I've ever ridden in Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom. 1. Splash Mountain Myself, my Dad, and three of my siblings (plus two randos in the back), June 2004 The last time I was at Disney World was 2021. I have yet to experience the new version of this ride, modeled after The Princess and the Frog (which I also haven't seen). I am quite disappointed that it was changed, because it was one of my favorite rides in all of Disney World (you can clearly see I have it positioned as number one here). It was weird and unique and the first thrill ride I ever rode as a child (that drop at the end is a treat). I'm bummed that I'll never get to ride it again, but I cling to and cherish the memory of all the times I did get to ride it. From catchy ear worms to joyous animated characters, the ride was a banger. It was also littered with animatronics, which tend to always be my favorite part of a Disney ride. 2. Pirates of the Caribbean "Drink up, me hearties yo ho" or, as I thought it was said as a kid "drink up, me hearty joe ho." This ride has pirates, adventure, looting, pillaging, plundering, and an assortment of memorable scenes. Who can forget the imprisoned men beckoning a dog with a bone to bring the keys. The ride has changed over the years. In conjunction with the release of the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie, they altered the ride to include Johnny Depp throughout, as well as some cannon fire from Captain Barbossa. It's awesome! I love water rides (my top two rides in this park are two of the four water rides on my list) and while they lessen the maximum thrill, there is some tangible quality they lend to a ride that can't be faked. You can smell the water, and feel the boat rock and carom off of the guide rails. Disney magic, baby! 3. Haunted Mansion The first ride on my list was based on a movie, and now the next two have had multiple movies based on the ride. Disney clearly knows how to pick 'em. The ride vehicle on this attraction is fun and unique, serving as kinda like a high-back chair with a lap bar that can spin all around to orient you toward the particular ghoulish tableau you're meant to enjoy in the moment. It is a wild trip through not only a haunted mansion, but a graveyard. This ride pulls out all the stops and even has a really fun pre-ride setup, with comical gravestones outside and an elevator that breaks your brain on the way to loading onto the ride vehicles. 4. Carousel of Progress I'd imagine this one is higher on my list than it is for most. At this point, I've seen this show probably a dozen times. The final scene has been altered a few times over the years in an attempt to keep up with the times, but the rest is perfectly unchanged (except for maybe some rerecorded dialogue). I love the idea that the audience and auditorium spin around from scene to scene while the stages themselves remain stationary. How wild is that? It is a simple story of a family growing and changing as technology advances. It changes seasons as it goes as well (symbolism and all that). It is simple and beautiful and I can't get enough. And again, it has animatronics! Yay! Update: this ride is getting a serious facelift and will also be forever changed. Alas, as Kansas once sang, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. 5. Space Mountain For those of us in the non-astronaut camp (which, statistically speaking, is 99.999% of us), space travel is nothing more than a fantastical notion. The proverbial pipe dream, if you will. So, when Disney gives you the chance to traverse space without that pesky training, education, and high-stakes bit, you take it. You wait in line, and you take it. You hop aboard their space toboggan and fly to the moon or the stars or whatever. It's awesome! 6. Peter Pan "And away we go! We're off to Never-Never land!" That's the opening line as you climb aboard your flying ship and set sail over London. It's incredible. You get to just spend the ride looking down and sailing over various scenes from the animated movie. It is such a cool concept. Very few rides have you tower over other things the whole way. It gives you the sense of flying because you are literally above the action. Giving kids a chance to fly is (to quote the Britons) bloody brilliant. 7. Seven Dwarfs Mine Train The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train was the newest attraction last time I was in Disney World. It is insane how smooth the ride is. They designed the vehicle in such a way that the base that rides on the tracks is attached really high on the bucket part that you're seated in. This allows the bottom portion to swing freely, hinging at that top part. It is so wild how smooth the ride is; I can't even believe it. Now, I have beef with this ride. Not enough animatronics and way too many screens. If I wanted to watch TV, I could have stayed home. Disney, tighten up. Plus, the wait is really long and the ride didn't last nearly long enough. Oh, but that smooth ride. Chef's kiss. 8. It's a Small World This ride and The Carousel of Progress both debuted at the same World's Fair in 1964/1965. How crazy is that? Pepsi and UNICEF were actually the sponsors of It's a Small World at said World's Fair (C'mon, be honest: which of those two sponsors feels like the outlier?). It's a Small World is a delightful little water ride that features global cultures. It creates scenes so big and spectacular that you simply can't take it all in at once and you know that you're leaving that thing humming the song the rest of the day (week? month? year?). The Sherman Brothers (Robert and Richard) wrote the song for the ride. These guys also created the song for The Carousel of Progress (It's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow), Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and others for Mary Poppins, the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang song, One Little Spark for the Journey Into Imagination with Figment ride, and I Wan'na Be Like You from The Jungle Book, along with so many others. These guys are true wonders. Shoutout, Sherman Bros and shoutout to all the animatronics on the ride. Woo hoo! 9. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh While the fear of heffalumps and woozles can hit a little close to home for small children afraid of monsters under the bed, don't worry, the panic is over quickly. This ride may be simple and seemingly designed for kids, but I like it. The design features a moment when the ride vehicle bounces along like Tigger (very cool) and it also heavily incorporates visuals of the written material. I like this move a lot because it's similar to the way the movies adapt the original source material from A.A. Milne. The words on the page seem to come to life and help foster a sense of whimsy. The ride queue is also very elaborate and has fun things for kids to do. 10. Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover The idea of simply riding around in a loop is kinda the backbone of all rides. If you don't end up where you started, that not a ride, it's just a mode of transportation. The PeopleMover foregoes the idea of being a mode of transport and adds a fun wrinkle. You have to climb up a level to board the continuously moving vehicle. Then you just cruise around Tomorrowland. You get to peek in on Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear, but you also just kind of chill. At a theme park, you spend a lot of time standing around in line and then when you get to the ride, it's over too quick. This ride, and the Carousel of Progress, are two spots in Tomorrowland where you get some time to chill and just sit for a spell. It's nice. 11. Jungle Cruise Weird Al scribed a song about a hypothetical acting phenom who resorts to becoming a Tour Guide on this ride because it's the only job he can get. I gotta say, I respect the acting chops these guides seem to have. Yes, they tend to offer up hammy puns in the name of the entertainment game, but I love hammy puns. Put it in my veins! I'll never tire of seeing the backside of water (It's the Eighth Wonder of the World, doncha know?). Disney again knocks it out of the park with the animatronics. When you go to the zoo, you never know what kind of view you're going to get to see of the animals. "Where's the lion?" "Oh, he's sleeping in the back, come back again next year." Not a problem on this ride. The elephants are always bathing for your viewing pleasure. Traversing rivers in Asia, Africa, and South America all in under 10 minutes is a real treat. Go on, taste it. Final Thoughts Magic Kingdom, man. What a wonderful invention. It was the first of the 4 Disney parks to be built in Disney World. It is "The happiest place on Earth" for a reason. You can eat and drink to your hearts content, but nothing beats the rides. The magical excursions, steeped in hope and wonder, never fail to make me smile. I hope they did the same for you when you went there (or will do if you've not yet had the pleasure). If you disagree with my list, please make sure to shove your gripes in the comment box below. Thanks!

By CJ Tiernan Jim Carrey is one of the funniest actors to ever grace the silver screen. His comedy chops are unmatched by absolutely everyone in history (with the possible exception of Robin Williams. See my Top 11 on his Movies here). As such, he has amassed an impressive filmography over the last 35 or 40 years. His signature move is an elastic face coupled with a Gumby body. He moves his body as though he's made of rubberbands and Jell-O brand gelatin and his comedy is better for it. Below is a list of the Top 11 Jim Carrey Movies I’ve ever seen. Enjoy! Noemi Nuñez, CC BY-SA 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons 1. The Truman Show (1998) How good was The Truman Show? So good that it created a new psychological condition (New Fear: Unlocked!). Hypochondriacs everywhere joined hands, attended their biweekly session, and revealed to their therapists they were unwitting stars of a television show. In some ways, this is an implausible premise, and in other ways it is the next obvious evolution of today’s reality TV. It is also one of the greatest performances of Jim Carrey’s career. 2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) It has been revealed that Jim Carrey required an unbearable amount of time every day to put his makeup on and take it off for this role. As such, he almost quit, until they brought in an ex-Navy Seal to help him with the mental anguish. He described the process as being “buried alive.” I couldn’t tell when watching the movie. He seemed like the same old, improv-heavy guy he always was. Still, it explains why there’s no “Grinch 2: Christmas Boogaloo.” 3. Liar Liar (1997) In addition to being a wonderful physical comedy vehicle for Carrey, Liar Liar might be the most subtle fantasy in history (can one call Jim Carrey subtle?). It is, in every tangible way, set in the real world. The only exception? The central point of the plot wherein Jim Carrey’s estranged son makes a wish on a birthday cake that, for one day, his dad doesn’t tell a lie. It leads to a series of events, personal and professional, that make the movie and the comedy. Also, let’s give a clap to the performance of Cary Elwes. He is delightfully cringey as the substitute boyfriend. 4. Bruce Almighty (2003) In the ‘90s, there was a big alternative push to call God a woman. Ever since this movie, it’s tough not to picture Morgan Freeman in the role. People look to the heavens in moments of frustration and cry, “why me?” Ever since I saw this movie, I try to do it when something good happens and say, “thanks.” If I miss a step on the stairs but I catch myself and don’t fall, I look up. If I drop something and it doesn’t break, I look up. If someone cuts me off in traffic but I stop in time and there’s no accident, I look up. If God exists (citation required), he/she/they is/are probably pretty busy. You may not believe it, but you CAN handle it on your own ✊. 5. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) ’94 was the year of Jim Carrey. In that one year, he had Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, and Dumb and Dumber all reach number one at the box office. It is the greatest year a movie star has ever had. This one featured a Dolphin (Dan Marino), a bottlenose dolphin (Snowflake), and a pre-Friends Courtney Cox. Fun fact: the actress that played Finkle/Einhorn is Sean Young, who played Rachael in Blade Runner. 6. The Mask (1994) You take one look at Jim Carrey and you think: Tex Avery cartoon. Well, at least someone did. They came up a way to turn Carrey’s preposterously fluid bones into an actual cartoon character. They shoehorned it into existing IP too, a comic book with a much darker path before Jim Carrey stepped into the shoes of Stanley Ipkiss (a wild and wonderful name). Plus, the movie was the debut of Cameron Diaz, who went on to do some great movies herself (like Shrek, Being John Malkovich, and Gangs of New York). 7. Yes Man (2008) Yes Man is a simple Rom-Com, and I’d imagine I rank it higher than many, but I love its simple message. The idea of stepping out of one’s comfort zone is often terrifying. There is an inherent fear of the unknown. This movie says, “ah, screw it! What’s the worst that could happen?” It also has a rooting-for-the-little-guy element that’s tough not to love. And to be perfectly honest, other than Patrick Warburton, Rhys Darby has my favorite voice in entertainment history. 8. Man on the Moon (1999) Jim Carrey has won exactly zero Oscars in his career. Given the general upturned-nose nature of the Academy when it comes to comedy, that is not a complete surprise. However, it is my opinion that he should have at least been nominated for this movie (he was nominated once for “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”). His performance is incredible and seems to simultaneously be a departure from his normal fair and right up his alley. Andy Kaufman was a singular figure in comedy and Carrey’s ability to inhabit that extraterrestrial for the entirety of filming is really quite remarkable. Fun fact: The song by REM with the same title was not written for this movie (I didn’t know!) and was released in ’92 and used as the inspiration for the title (as it is also about Andy Kaufman). 9. Horton Hears a Who! (2008) This is the second Dr. Seuss entry on this list. Dr. Seuss is known for his irregular, uneven animation designs. Yes, the right angle has gone the way of the Star-Belly Sneetches amidst the pages of a Dr. Seuss book. Jim Carrey is also known for dramatic angles and wild gyrations. And yet, we find him here voicing a character in an animated movie. Steve Carrell’s voice acting is the star of the show here and makes the movie (he plays the mayor of the town on the speck). Everyone else is just a sparring partner. 10. Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) Sonic the Hedgehog overcame something very few movies ever do. It had to go through massive (digital) reshoots because the design of Sonic was freakin’ everybody out. It is very rare that a successful movie gets that far down the pike and then has an extreme pivot. Yet, the movie is big hit. They’ve crafted multiple sequels already and it shows no signs of slowing down. Jim Carrey plays the bad guy, which is a fun change of pace for him that we rarely get to see. The bad guy in question, Dr. Eggman, is your standard genius mad scientist with the power to grow an epic mustache. The relationship between James Marsden and Sonic (voiced by Ben Schwartz, of Jean-Ralphio Saperstein fame) makes the movie, but Carrey is delightful. 11. Dumb and Dumber (1994) That’s right, not only did Jim Carrey have three number one movies in 1994, but all three made my Top 11. What a year! This one actually may be his most iconic. He has a ridiculous haircut, a one-of-a-kind suit, and all the intelligence of a stale saltine. This movie launched both Jim Carrey and the Farrelly Brothers into the stratosphere. You can still hear many of its quotes among today’s vernacular. Also, let’s give a clap for Jeff Daniels, who just said “yes!” even though this movie took him way out of his normal line of work. Final Thoughts Comedic Legend. All-Timer. Physical Comedy Genius. The list of superlatives one can use to describe Jim Carrey and his body of work can run on and on. I’m a huge fan. I hope you are too. His body of work is epic and now, of all things, he’s a painter. If you have some favorites that didn’t make the list, please let me know in the comments. I’ll leave a list of the movies that just missed my Top 11, which simply consists of the rest of his movies that I’ve seen, down below. Thanks! Have a great day! Fun with Dick and Jane (2005) The Majestic (2001) Kick-Ass 2 (2013) Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004) The Cable Guy (1996) A Christmas Carol (2009) Peggy Sue Got Married (1986) The Number 23 (2007) Me, Myself & Irene (2000) Simon Birch (1998) I Love You Phillip Morris (2009)

By CJ Tiernan Character actor is the term often used for people that make a career playing supporting roles rather than starring as your typical leading man or leading lady. When you call J.K. Simmons one of the most prolific character actors to ever grace the silver screen, you pay him great compliment. He has earned it. Simmons has worked alongside countless stars and held his own on screen against them all, having played menacing, loving, and even characters using only his voice (including the yellow peanut M&M in the M&Ms commercials for, like, 30 years). You can stack his filmography up against just about anyone. Below is my Top 11 List of my favorite J.K. Simmons movies I’ve ever seen. Disclaimer: as he is often in a supporting role, I didn’t count his cameo roles as standalone options on the list so there are actually 16 movies in my Top 11 (insert Mitch Hedberg joke about 2-in-1 shampoo here). Jay Dixit, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons 1. Whiplash (2014) Whiplash is one of the greatest films ever. It is so incredible and the performance of J.K. Simmons is a big reason why. There is tension throughout the film, born of the hulking menace of Simmons’ character, Terence Fletcher. He won an Academy Award for the performance (the first of two nominations in his career so far). The final scene of the film is my favorite ending of all time. They say, “those that can’t do, teach.” He teaches so hard, man. 2. Klaus (2019) Christmas movies have a special place in our hearts because liking something is, in part, derived from our familiarity with it and we watch the same ones every year. As a result, it can be tough for a newcomer to crack the Top 11 Christmas Movies List. This one is in my Top 5 Christmas Movies. It’s that good. It’s an animated movie, featuring Simmons in the title role, about the origins of certain aspects of Christmas (kinda). It’s funny, it’s sweet, it’s violent, all the things you want from a Christmas movie. 3. The Ladykillers (2004) The Coen Brothers partnered with a heist movie. I’m sorry. You need more? How about Tom Hanks dressed as Colonel Sanders, a Wayans Brother, and J.K. Simmons looking like he’s ready to pan for gold in the mid-19th century? It may have been critically panned but clearly those people hate fun. I, for one, love fun and love this movie. 4a. Palm Springs (2020) Time travel movies are fantastic, as are the sub-genre: time loop movies. Groundhog Day is the O.G., against which all others will always be compared. I liked this one more. It’s more adult than most other options out there but man is it a fun ride. Simmons is featured as a guy who’s been accidentally brought into the time loop after it’s begun and is not a fan of the results. Violence ensues. 4b. Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019) - (Cameo) Spoiler Alert: If you are this far behind on the MCU, you are either very young or you don’t really care. But, I nonetheless believe in spoiler alerts. This is a fantastic final-scene surprise cameo. J.K. Simmons became synonymous with J. Jonah Jameson because he seemed so perfectly cast in the original Sam Raimi trilogy. It was a bit of a stunt cast but, because I didn’t know it was coming, it was a wonderful surprise. Also, this is one of the best MCU movies and Spider-Man is my favorite Superhero. 4c. Burn After Reading (2008) - (Cameo) One of the best tools in the Simmons’ arsenal is the straight man. He has a deep voice that demands authority without needing to ask for it, so when he plays it straight, we laugh. Such is his role in this movie. He is essentially reacting to the chaos that plays out on screen through a repeated escalation of misunderstandings, but doing so in memo form. It’s just delicious. The whole movie is delicious. Brad Pitt and George Clooney have never been more off the rails. 5. Thank You for Smoking (2005) Here, Simmons plays the boss of the main character: a tobacco lobbyist played by Aaron Eckhart. At one point he laments that teen smoking is decreasing, as it is the “bread and butter” of the tobacco industry. As a staunch anti-smoker myself, I loved this movie for the over-the-top satire of the tobacco industry. I’m also a sucker for breaking the fourth wall, which is done kind of a lot in this one. 6a. Zootopia (2016) This is a crazy fun idea. Zootopia is a world where all the animals live in one giant city, complete with appropriate biozone sections. They can walk and talk and wait in line at the DMV. Simmons plays the mayor (a lion) of Zootopia. When this movie was in theaters, my brother spent the day after he first saw this movie, in the theater watching it again. High praise. 6b. La La Land (2016) - (Cameo) Damien Chazelle came out of the gates with back-to-back bangers. He directed Whiplash and followed it up with this musical gem. With just the opening scene (a traffic jam wherein all the occupants hop out of their cars to sing and dance) he establishes so much of the fantastical, whimsical world where the plot transpires. Simmons small role as Ryan Gosling’s boss is memorable because he fires Gosling for playing jazz (after lambasting Miles Teller in Whiplash for not playing jazz well enough). You would think that Chazelle would be placed in a jazz pigeon hole after that but, nope, his next movie was about Neil Armstrong (and he found a new muse as Ryan Gosling was again the star. Move aside, J.K. Simmons, and let the man go through). 7. Juno (2007) Juno is a fantastic movie. It touches on universal themes like teen pregnancy and indie music. J.K. Simmons got to wear a bit of a different hat as he was the loving and understanding father of said pregnant teen. In addition to Simmons, this powerhouse cast features Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Allison Janney (who also won a Supporting Acting Oscar), and the artist currently known as Elliot Page. The music in this movie is so emblematic of the era; it’s a real time capsule. 8. Spider-Man 2 (2004) This is the one with Doc Ock. Simmons again plays J. Jonah Jameson, this time in the best of the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies. It’s dramatic, with higher, more global stakes than the first movie and it’s got a cool train scene. I know we’re talking about J.K. Simmons here, but let’s take a moment to give it up for Alfred Molina. He’s wonderful in this role and the effects are really impressive (lots of puppetry was used). 9. Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) Spoiler Alert: They brought together all three Spider-Men. Maguire, Garfield, and Holland are all together in one scene in the biggest conglomeration of Spider-People since Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse a few years previous. They changed the role a bit for Simmons from the first time he played the character almost 20 years earlier. In fact, they used him to lampoon the sensationalism of far-right “news” sources. Spider-Man has a lot of villains in this movie but J. Jonah Jameson may be the biggest to Peter Parker. 10a. Spider-Man (2002) Here it is. The one that started it all. Peter Parker becomes Spider-Man, accidentally gets his grandpa killed, and kisses the love of his life upside-down in the rain. Willem Dafoe plays the bad guy and, to quote Weird Al, “he’s wearing that dumb Power Rangers mask, but he’s scarier without it on.” 10b. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) - (Cameo) There are so many characters in this movie that you’d be saving yourself time listing the parties not involved. At one point in time there are like a hundred Spider-Men on screen at the same time. It’s awesome! I highly recommend watching it. I was bummed it ended on a cliff hanger, but they crammed so much in that you can understand it. Simmons plays, and stop me if you heard this one before, J. Jonah Jameson. This time, he plays the role across multiple dimensions. Wait, he did that in the live-action one too. Fun. 10c. Up in the Air (2009) - (Cameo) This is the third Jason Reitman film on my list (Thank You for Smoking and Juno are the others). Simmons is only in one scene but it’s pretty memorable. George Clooney plays a dude that fires people professionally. He turns the firing of J.K. Simmons’ Bob character around by asking “How much did they first pay you to give up on your dreams?” He pivots the loss of Bob’s job as an opportunity for Bob to do something he loves and actually wants to do. Anna Kendrick and Vera Farmiga round out a formidable cast. Fun fact: the city the plane is over when Clooney reaches 10 million miles mid-flight is my home town: Dubuque, Iowa. 11. Juror #2 (2024) A Clint Eastwood movie made in 2024? This guy is the Terminator. He can’t be stopped. It’s an incredible movie that follows a guy on a jury forced to decide the fate for a crime that he begins to think he may actually be responsible for. Simmons plays another guy on the jury who also becomes suspicious. Thrilling, gripping, and worthy of your time. Final Thoughts J.K. Simmons, to sum it up, is in a bunch of magnificent movies and you should just watch them all to ensure you don’t miss out on the good stuff. I am genuinely excited whenever Simmons is sprinkled in among the cast list for a new release. He’s also recently dabbled in some critically acclaimed TV. And if you aren’t a Super Hero person (what’s wrong with you?), you can choose any of the 11 non-Spider-Man movies on my list. Thanks so much! Have a great day! Here’s a list of the other J.K. Simmons movies I’ve seen. Saturday Night (2024) - (Cameo) Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) - (Cameo) Extract (2009) Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022) Red One (2024) Megamind (2010) - (Cameo) Spider-Man 3 (2007) Anastasia (1997) I Love You, Man (2009) Contraband (2012)

By CJ Tiernan I'm writing this one on Halloween so, 'tis the season. The horror movie genre definitely isn't as inextricably linked to the calendar as Christmas movies, but they certainly get a bump this time of year. I know that some people aren't huge fans of the horror genre and I don't blame them. I go to a movie to be entertained, but often it's more than just that. In a comedy, you want to be friends with the funny people. In an adventure, you want to be on that adventure with the characters. In a love story, you want to be swept off your feet too. You want to be in the movie, experiencing the same thing as the characters. That is not the case for a horror movie. You, instead, thank your lucky stars you're not there. It is a different version of fantasy and wish fulfillment and I respect that. But I like a movie that moves me to feel something. Horror movies are definitely capable of conjuring a litany of emotions and I love that. Below is a list of my 11 favorite movies I've ever seen that can fall, at least in part, under the horror genre. 1. Shaun of the Dead (2004) Studio Canal, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons The first genre that "Shaun of the Dead" falls under is probably either comedy or parody. But there are zombies and brutal deaths so it still counts. This is my favorite horror movie and one of my favorite movies of all time. Edgar Wright brings British dry wit to a genre that often lacked much of a pulse (rim shot - zombie joke). I love the quick cuts of otherwise mundane actions to ratchet up the tension, as well the oblivious nature of the main character to realize he's in a zombie movie. 2. The Cabin in the Woods (2011) This might be the greatest send up of the horror genre of all time. Not only does it adhere to certain genre troupes, it also effortlessly snaps them over its knee whenever it pleases. Plus, it showcases a great number of other horrifying figures from a heap of other flicks in the horror sphere. This is the movie I would recommend as a horror gateway for people who don't think they are a fan of horror. The comedy throughout helps to soften the terror and the cutting back and forth between locations helps alleviate some of the tension. 3. Late Night with the Devil (2023) "Late Night with the Devil" is my favorite "found footage" movie of all time. The idea that some unspeakable horror or tragedy played out and eliminated all the players so that all that remains is a recording of the events is always a fascinating conceit. This movie takes place in the late '70s and puts a twist on the genre. It is a Halloween episode of a late-night show. I don't want to spoil anymore if you haven't seen it because it is so delicious. 4. Cloverfield (2008) The first "found footage" movie I ever saw was "Cloverfield." It changed the game. I loved it so much. I love the idea of the camera being held by one of the characters. It just feels so much like you are there and a part of the action. It raises the stakes. "The Blair Witch Project" was the first time I'd ever heard of the "found footage" genre (or perhaps sub-genre), but I don't recommend it. It is a very slow burn. The good stuff is reserved for like the last 10 seconds of the movie. But this one? Good from the first drop to the last drop. 5. Zombieland (2009) I love this movie for a ton of reasons. The concept is great. The cast is great. My favorite part was the fourth-wall breaking, how-to guide-esque rules for surviving in "Zombieland." It is a wonderful strategy for staying alive and a wonderful strategy for making a horror movie funny. 6. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010) Speaking of funny movies, "Tucker & Dale vs. Evil" has entered the chat. This movie stars Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk as two hillbillies who are mistaken for killers. Alan Tudyk is criminally underrated. Some of his best roles are as voice-over and motion-capture characters and some of his stuff is just under seen, but still: the world should know his name. Tyler Labine has also been in several great things like "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" and the one-and-done season of "Sons of Tucson." This movie is a comedy horror movie born of a misunderstanding and things go off the rails from there. Highly worthy of your time. 7. Fall (2022) This one got me. This was a white-knuckle thrill ride all the way through. A young woman, climbing with her friend and her husband, watches as he slips and falls to his death (not a spolier: it's the opening scene). She becomes broken and gives up climbing. Her friend, in an effort to pull her out of her rut and get her out of the house, suggests they do another climb about a year later. Reluctantly, she comes along and the two scale an abandoned radio tower in the desert. Then they struggle to get back down. I highly recommend this one if you haven't seen it. 8. Army of the Dead (2021) "Army of the Dead" is a zombie heist movie. A zombie heist movie! To be clear, there are humans attempting a casino heist in post-apocalyptic Las Vegas while trying to avoid zombies, not an attempt to steal zombies (or a group of zombies doing the heist). Well, actually... ah, just watch the movie. It's done by Zack Snyder so you know the action is dope. Also, Tig Notaro is a scene stealer, which is quite a feat considering the scenes she is in were originally filmed without her. 9. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) "The Silence of the Lambs" won the Academy Award for best picture. To date, it is the only horror film to ever pull that off (Neither Jaws nor The Exorcist won, though both were nominated). As such, it is the most critically recognized film on my list. That is for a very good reason. The acting is incredible. Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins both won their respective Academy Award for best acting. The movie also won best adapted screenplay and best director (Jonathan Demme, who also won Tom Hanks and Bruce Springsteen an Oscar a couple years later for "Philadelphia"). Both the story, and the Hopkins performance, bore their talons into you and cling on well after the movie's over. 10. The Conjuring (2013) "The Conjuring" might be the most straightforward horror movie on this list. Well, no, there are supernatural elements to this one, so I take it back. But to be honest, this is one of the creepiest movies I've ever seen. Yes, there are jump scares, which often feels like a cheap trick (but also, you're there to be scared, so if it scares you then it worked, right?). There is a level of tension that gets established early on and never really subsides. It is a tense movie. It is also really well done. It takes place in the '70s and features a real-life paranormal-investigator couple (Although, I believe a few liberties were taken). Even though it only came out a dozen years ago, it's spawned a crazy number of sequels and spinoffs, so clearly I'm not the only one that thought it was it hit. 11. Saw (2004) Last but not least, we have "Saw." I don't know if you ever saw "Saw," but it's intense. It is a gripping thriller that also launched a crap-ton of sequels and prequels. The director, James Wan, who also directed The Conjuring, must be rolling in the dough as the pioneer of multiple horror franchises. I only saw (sorry, last time) the first two "Saw" movies and they were both intense, but I think they start to get a bit too over the top after this first one. "Saw" is very intimate and harrowing. As an aside, you can never see Cary Elwes on screen enough. Fun fact: His given name is Ivan Simon Cary Elwes [insert mind blown emoji here]. Final Thoughts If terror and fear be not what you seek, your knowledge of this list may be feeble and weak. However, I have very few movies on this list that fall exclusively under the horror genre. As such, if you are more of a purist, your list may look dramatically different. Please let me know in the comments if I missed any of your favorites. I have included a small list of some of the movies that just fell short of making my own list. Thanks! Arachnophobia (1990) Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) The Devil's Rejects (2005) It (2017) Escape Room (2018) Alien (1979) Aliens (1986) Cube (1997) Army of Darkness (1992)

By CJ Tiernan High School is one of the most formative runs of your life. Some people live it up and it's the best time of their lives while others keep their heads down and can't wait to get out. You both develop or strengthen friendships that can run through the rest of your days and create a pathway to your future. But, High School is really hard. There is a lot to balance in your life, all while hormones course, unbridled, through your system. It can be isolating, which is why it is nice to see others in your shoes portrayed onscreen. Whether the movie reminds you of yourself or someone you know, or just crafts a crazy scenario that's entertaining, it's nice to see high schoolers portrayed in a movie. Below is a list of my 11 favorite movies I've ever seen that feature High School students and their lives. 1. Back to the Future (1985) Marty McFly, a senior at Hill Valley High, accidentally travels back in time 30 years (courtesy of his adult scientist bestie) and attends high school with his parents. He has knocked his own future out of whack by ruining his parent's meet-cute. He then quests to get them back together and travel back to his time (courtesy of his 30-years younger adult scientist bestie). It's one of the greatest movies of all time. While some of his plights are a skosh unrelatable, there are still a lot of universal High School elements. Bullying, dating, and getting yelled at for running in the halls (Classic!). While the Flux Capacitor may be the thing that makes time travel possible, the high school setting is what makes this story relatable. 2. 21 Jump Street (2012) Guillaume Paumier, CC BY 3.0 , via Wikimedia Commons Channing Tatum is funny! That was the first takeaway from this movie. I don't think we'd gotten to see him be funny before this one. Based on the Johnny Depp TV show from the late '80s, this movie follows two cops that go undercover to find the source of a drug that's running rampant through a High School. They experience a culture-clash from what they were used to when they went to school. This one really tackles the importance of the feeling of belonging and finding your people. With Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Ice Cube, Rob Riggle, and Jonah Hill, "21 Jump Street" is stacked and was highly worthy of its sequel (which falls under the category of "College Movies" so stay tuned for that Top 11 List). 3. Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) It is a lot of fun to watch a superhero go through the same High School stresses as the rest of us. He was bullied and struggled with a dating life and disappointing his friend(s) and just feels really human. This iteration of Spider-Man features the life of Peter Parker crashing down to earth a bit after showing up in an epic showdown with Iron Man against Captain America. He has to be a school kid while also taking down the big bad (Michael Keaton's Vulture). It is a great movie and fun fact: It was cowritten by John Francis Daley (Sam from "Freaks and Geeks" and Sweets from "Bones") who also wrote for movies like "Game Night," "Horrible Bosses," and "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves." 4. Superbad (2007) Jonah Hill again! I guess he went through a phase there where he was crushing it on the High School circuit. In this movie, he and Michael Cera try to go out with a bang on their High School careers. This is another portrayal of High Schoolers as people that are just trying really hard to fit in and hit certain preconceived standards and thresholds for what they feel people their age should do. It is one of the funniest movies ever. It was largely written by Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogan (guess where they got the names for the main characters) when they were actually in High School. 5. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) What!? The second time travel movie in the Top 5? Bill & Ted travel through time to assemble a legion of actual historical figures to aid and abet their attempt to have a good enough presentation to pass history class. The titular characters are slackers in a metal band (a band, "Wyld Stallyns," whose philosophy will be the foundation of the utopian society humanity experiences 700 years in the future) ushered through time in a phone booth by a guy named Rufus (the irreplaceable George Carlin). This movie highlights the all too real presence of procrastination and the looming threat of being sent to military school. "San Dimas High School football rules!" 6. Booksmart (2019) This is probably the most underrated movie on my list (or maybe it's just the movie that's had the least amount of time to become a classic, since it was released most recently). "Booksmart" is not at all dissimilar to the conceit of Superbad (but the main characters are girls instead of boys). Two High School seniors that have had an impressive academic run start to wonder if their goody-two-shoes approach to life was worth it and decide to cut loose for a night of debauchery. 'Tis a very funny movie, dealing with a sense of belonging, sexuality, friendship, and breaking free of stereotypes, so it's also poignant. 7. Juno (2007) "Juno" follows the title character navigating teen pregnancy. She is ushered into a lot of adult conversations and feelings at the measly age of 16. High Schoolers navigating pregnancy isn't universal, but navigating their feelings and communication and their home and family life and a sense of belonging is. Casting wise, this movie is stacked. It stars Elliot Page and Michael Cera (another High School Movie staple!) and the supporting actors list is loaded: Jason Bateman, Allison Janney, Jennifer Garner, and J.K. Simmons. I think we all would have strove (strived? striven?) to be as independent as she was through adolescence. Plus, the aesthetic/soundtrack/vibe of this movie might belong in the quirky Hall-of-Fame. 8. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) This John Hughes classic follows the titular character taking a day off from High School. He seems to have a foot in every clique as all the students seem to love him (except for his sister, that is) #SaveFerris! Following a kid taking a sick day by fooling his family (minus his sister) and school (minus the principal) is a wild ride spanning a swath of events including stealing (and wrecking) a Ferrari, taking in a Cubs game, and dancing in a parade. Ferris is the rare High School kid in a movie that doesn't have any problems he overcomes. Other than avoiding the pursuit of his sister and principal, he is seemingly unflappable. It is the type of character you wish you were rather than the type you actually are. But then again, he keeps breaking the fourth wall, so in real life he may be institutionalized. Either way, he'll always be the Sausage King of Chicago (Abe Froman) to me. 9. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) I'm not a big Shakespeare fan. The dude used a lot of words I can't fully decipher just to say something boring like "What's up!" However, this movie, which takes "The Taming of the Shrew" into the 20th century, managed to make it approachable and appealing. I don't think that people in Shakespearean times had to attend High School, because it would have led to their mid-life crisis preceding receipt of their diploma, but you can get the sense of universal tribulations. It is a story that deals with love, and finding your place in the world, and being authentic. Plus, who doesn't love a young JGL, Julia Stiles, and Heath Ledger? What is there to hate? 10. Metal Lords (2022) A story about two friends who are social outcasts attempting to find their way in life and exercise their demons by playing metal music (even though they don't really have the skillset)? I'm in. I'm all the way in. This is a surprisingly sweet story featuring young love, the strife of adolescence, and heavy metal. I highly recommend it. 11. The Breakfast Club (1985) Don't, Don't, Don't, Don't, Don't you, forget about this movie. "The Breakfast Club" is a coming-of-age staple (classic John Hughes). It follows five kids who've been saddled with the unfathomable concept of Saturday detention. They have to spend the whole day together to write a 1000-word essay explaining "who they think they are." They all have very surface-level stereotypes but, throughout the film, we peel back layers like a parfait or an ogre to get to know them more. It is the pinnacle of High School drama, as these teens deal with living up to the expectations of others (including their own parents), their own identities, and being understood. It is powerful and iconic. [walks away with a fist in the air] 12. Better Off Dead (1985) "Better Off Dead" is weird in the best possible way. In the middle of the movie, the main character, Lane (a High Schooler played by John Cusack), day-dreams that he Frankensteins a burger to life and the burger proceeds to shred to Van Halen's "Everybody Wants Some." Lane gets fired from his fast-food job (ob-v). Other weird things include a Japanese drag racer doing a Howard Cosell impression every time he's onscreen, Lane's genius younger brother who launches a space shuttle from his bedroom during the end credits, and the insane meals that Lane's mom cooks (she can be seen at one point seasoning a pot with flailing tentacles sticking out the top). As far as the actual plot goes, it follows Lane as he gets dumped for a better skier and decides he either needs to win her back via skiing or take his own life. It features such High School staples as getting over being dumped, getting bullied, finding a true connection with someone, and being resilient. Highly worth the watch if you get the chance. They don't make movies this goofy anymore. Final Thoughts We all had to traverse the halls of High School. Sometimes we like knowing we're not alone and sometimes, especially with the distance of time, we can gain perspective on our own experiences. I'm sure your experiences were different from mine so your list may very well differ too. Please let me know in the comments if I left any of your favorites off the list. I have included a handful that just missed my list below. Thanks! P.S. I have a twelfth entry on the list because I added Metal Lords after the initial list was released. And, I mean, what I am gonna do? Erase my hard-earned words? Nah, I'll just give you a bonus. Nobody ever got angry at a bonus (excluding that Jelly-of-the-Month Club debacle in Christmas Vacation). Dead Poet's Society (1989) Donnie Darko (2001) Easy A (2010) Chronicle (2012) Election (1999) Mr. Holland's Opus (1995) Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Clueless (1995)