By CJ Tiernan Suave. Debonair. Handsome. This actor oozes charisma and charm. He also happens to have starred in some great motion pictures. The following is a list of my Top 11 favorite movies featuring George Clooney and the dulcet tones of his deep timbre. 1. Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) Why You Should Watch It: This is the greatest stop-motion animation film I've ever seen. It proved to be the perfect canvas for director Wes Anderson's unique color palette. From anthropomorphic animals to slapstick comedy, I don't know that I've ever laughed harder at a movie. George Clooney's Role: Clooney plays the titular Mr. Fox, an instigator in rising tensions between human farmers and the nearby animal denizens. His endearing charm is on full display, even though he lends only a voice to this role. Mr. Fox is crafty, smooth, sly like a... you know.... fox. 2. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) Why You Should Watch It: When George Clooney partners with the Coen Brothers, the Audience wins. He teams up with Tim Blake Nelson and John Turturro as a jailbreak trio in search of treasure in the 1930s American South. They also stumble backward into recording a hit song. The movie is loosely based on Homer's Odyssey, but the departures from the source material's time and place lead to pure comedy gold. George Clooney's Role: Clooney goes broad here. Really broad with the comedy. It's over the top and wildly expressive and I couldn't stop laughing. His eyes are so expressive and wild. He plays Ulysses Everett McGill, a chain gang escapee rushing to dig up buried treasure before the area in which it is buried is washed away in a flood. 3. Ocean's Eleven (2001) Why You Should Watch It: It's a remake of a movie I've never seen. Some people say that one is better. I really like this one. I'm a sucker for a heist movie and this is a very satisfying heist movie. Did I mention it also has Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, Julia Roberts, Andy Garcia, Casey Affleck, and Matt Damon? It's stacked and it's good. What more do you need? George Clooney's Role: He plays Danny Ocean, the puppet master behind the elaborate heist, who has to appear hands-off, as he is a wanted man by the casino owner. He exhibits effortless charisma in this one. 4. Out of Sight (1998) Why You Should Watch It: Another crime comedy. Another must watch. J-Lo and Clooney, on opposite sides of the law. You can't look away, man. George Clooney's Role: Criminal Jack Foley, who kidnaps government agent Karen Sisco (Jennifer Lopez), in a saucy Steven Soderbergh flick. 5. The Perfect Storm (2000) Why You Should Watch It: In Literature, they say there are several different flavors of conflict: Man v. Man, Man v. Self, Man v. Animal, and Man v. Nature. This movie is an excellent example of that last one. Action on the high seas. This is a white-knuckler. It also has the benefit of supporting players, John C. Reilly, Mark Wahlberg, and Diane Lane. George Clooney's Role: Clooney plays the Captain of a commercial fishing vessel, Billy Tyne, caught in a storm off the east coast of the US. It takes place in the Fall of 1991, and is based on a true story and packs all the commensurate emotional punch. 6. Spy Kids (2001) Why You Should Watch It: This is not a George Clooney Movie. This is a movie that has George Clooney in it. It is a delightful kids movie that I love in no small part because I was a kid when I first saw it. I still quote this movie and it is a great source of entertainment. George Clooney's Role: He plays Diego Devlin, the head of the Organization of Super Spies. He pops up as a talking head. This is a cameo appearance. It is a buttoned-up, straightforward performance. He is not the reason to watch this movie. 7. Burn After Reading (2008) Why You Should Watch It: Coen Brothers Again! Crazy-eyed George Clooney again! The funniest Brad Pitt has ever been. This movie starts crazy, and then goes off the rails. Also features, J.K. Simmons, Francis McDormand, John Malkovich. George Clooney's Role: George plays Harry Pfarrer, a US Marshall. and hijinx ensue. 8. Up in the Air (2009) Why You Should Watch It: Back to Suave George! This movie features the talents of Vera Farmiga, Jason Bateman, and Anna Kendrick and the director of Juno and Thank You for Smoking. It is a hearting delight and features a shoutout to Dubuque, Iowa (my hometown). Worth the watch. George Clooney's Role: He plays Ryan Bingham, a man who flys all over the country to help companies fire people. His life gets shaken up by the advent of video conferencing. 9. Intolerable Cruelty (2003) Why You Should Watch It: Coen Brothers again! This one features George going head to head with Catherine Zeta Jones in a delightful romantic comedy. It also features Billy Bob Thornton and Geoffrey Rush in juicy roles. George Clooney's Role: George Clooney plays Miles Massey, a divorce attorney with a stellar track record. He manages to win in court against Catherine Zeta Jones' Marylin Rexroth and she sets forth a plan for revenge. 10. Gravity (2013) Why You Should Watch It: This is a Sandra Bullock movie. George Clooney lends some emotional gravity to the proceedings (ha, see what I did there?). It is also a visual marvel from the maker of Children of Men. George Clooney's Role: He plays Matt Kowalski, an astronaut and coworker of Sandy B's Ryan Stone. 11. Tomorrowland (2015) Why You Should Watch It: This is a movie based on a Disney Ride. Well not a ride, per se, but a land in a theme park where rides are located. The story follows Casey, a brilliant kid played by Britt Robertson, on a quest to reach Tomorrowland, a seemingly idyllic land of the future. It also features House, M.D. himself: Hugh Laurie. George Clooney's Role: George is Frank Walker, a previous denizen of Tomorrowland who begrudgingly helps Casey. This is a jaded and cantankerous George. It's fun! Georges Biard, CC BY-SA 3.0 , via Wikimedia Commons Final Thoughts I am willing to concede that my rankings my not align with your own. Watching movies can elicit an emotional response in us that links to our enjoyment of the film. How fun is that! We're different. We've had different experiences. That's pretty cool. Things like how old you were and who you saw the movie with can impact your opinion. Below is a list of the remaining movies I've seen that have George Clooney in them so you can have a little more context for my rankings. Feel free to offer up your own rankings in the comments section. Michael Clayton (2007), Hail, Caesar! (2016), South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999), Ocean's Twelve (2004), The Descendants (2011), Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), IF (2024), Batman & Robin (1997), The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009), Spy Kids 3D: Game Over (2003), The Ides of March (2011), Leatherheads (2008), The Midnight Sky (2020)

By CJ Tiernan I played multiple Pokémon video games as a kid. I had the blue version, played my brother’s yellow version, and then had silver version (Plus, I played some Pokémon Pinball. Anybody else? With the rumble pack? That was a fun one). Those were all games on the GameBoy. What a time! I then took a disappointing stretch of time off (life, am I right?) but got back into it when PokémonGo came out. We all have our own favorite Pokémon for any number of reasons. These are mine and, as is often the case with aesthetics, I can’t totally put my finger on why. I restricted my list to just the original 151 Pokémon (for now). Here is my Top 11 Pokémon from the First Generation. Enjoy! ArmenAir, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons 1. Bulbasaur/Ivysaur/Venusaur This was always my go-to starter Pokémon. I am someone who doesn’t like frogs (as a kid, I had an incident. I’m…not ready to talk about it). Constantly choosing this Pokémon as my avatar is like Batman choosing a bat as his avatar. Yep. It’s the exact same thing. 2. Onix Did you remember that you spell Onix with an ‘I’? I didn’t remember that at all. I would have thought for sure that it was with a ‘Y’ like the gemstone. They say there’s no ‘I’ in team but apparently there is one in rock Pokémon. I don’t know why but I love rock Pokémon (sorry about your luck, scissors Pokémon). This guy is just a pile of rocks in the shape of a snake. It’s perfect. 3. Geodude/Graveler/Golem This little fella is a rock with arms. Who doesn’t love the idea of a rock with arms? Back in the ‘70s, before fun was invented, people would spend their time painting rocks. You don’t have to paint these rocks. They come with arms! 4. Mr. Mime A Pokémon that’s also a clown: part creepy, part hilarious. Apart from Pikachu having “I am Groot” syndrome, the Pokémon don’t really talk much in this world. At least for Mr. Mime, it makes sense. He can’t break character. He's committed to the bit. 5. Porygon Porygon was created virtually. It looks like someone drew a duck using the vector graphics technology available in the late ‘70s, best showcased in movies like Star Wars and Alien. It is a weird, unique, abnormal Pokémon that, oddly enough, is normal type. 6. Squirtle/Wartortle/Blastoise Squirtle is adorable. By the time it evolves all the way to Blastoise, it has giant cannons and looks like Bowser. What are you gonna do? It’s a turtle. They live a long time and, as we learned in The Dark Knight, “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain” (man, two Batman references. I swear, I didn’t just watch it last night. It just lives rent-free in my head – like Batman to his many foes). 7. Mewtwo If you’re nickname is “The World’s Strongest Pokémon,” you’ve either got one heck of a PR agent or you’re a hoss. Mewtwo was genetically engineered in a lab so it may be both. What do you think leaves a more lasting impact: physical damage or psychological damage? Mewtwo knows the answer and uses it to maximum effect. 8. Tangela Picture a pile of spaghetti wrapped around a single meatball and then swap out the spaghetti for blue vines (with cartoon eyes visible from beneath like Kenny from South Park). Boom! You just made Tangela. 9. Kangaskhan If you combined a kangaroo and the dinosaur Pachycephalosaurus, you’d craft a rough approximation of Kangaskhan. It’s got a little dude in its pouch (baby bjorning its way through life) and has horns and a plate on its head specifically designed for ramming. Just to further mix and match, we named it after the founder of the Mongolian Empire (is “founder” glossing over too much atrocity?). 10. Zapdos Electric-type Pokémon are super effective against flying Pokémon. How does one solve that issue? They make the flying Pokémon electric. This Pokémon has a delightful aesthetic, making it appear as though a large bird was just electrocuted (it’s all spikey and stuff). It is one of the three legendary birds (along with Articuno and Moltres) and was always my favorite of the three. If only its name didn't sound a like prescription for electroshock therapy. 11. Machop/Machoke/Machamp Machop and friends have a really fun hairstyle. It’s like a triple mohawk. But that’s not the selling point here. Machamp has four arms! Can you imagine getting into a boxing ring and finding out your enemy has four arms while you still only have two-ish. That’s a real demoralizing moment. Machoke and Machamp are real behemoths and would go high in an NFL Draft once their college eligibility runs out. Final Thoughts If you made it this far, I assume you’re a fan of Pokémon as well. If not, you need to get a hobby of some sort. Sourdough recently made a comeback. Maybe look into that. Anyway, Pokémon are wonderful, adorable monsters of violence and I can’t get enough. If you feel the same way, I’m sure you’ve got opinions. Please let me know in the comments if I left any of your favorites off the list. Thanks! Have a great day.

By CJ Tiernan Flying. There are few super powers quite as fantastic as flying. Humans have yet to achieve this power outside of a flying machine (often referred to a plane). When will The Jetsons become a reality? I want my future with a side helping of being able to fold up my space ship and carry it as a briefcase. Or, you know, just magic. Can we invent magic and fly that way? That'd be sick. Anyway, I compiled a list of my favorite characters that take flight in movies and these are my Top 11 Flying movie characters. 1. Falkor - The Neverending Story (1984) This '80s fantasy movie is epic. It has a story within a story, a kid as the only hero that can save the world, and a giant creature made of rocks that eats rocks (and laments the absence of gourmet rocks). I watched this movie as a child. The stakes felt so big and The Nothing was terrifying. You know what wasn't terrifying? Falkor. Falkor is a flying luckdragon who likes to be scratched behind the ears. He's over 40 feet long and can fly. That's pretty awesome. I'm only 6 feet long (when measured vertically) and I can't even make it to my dentist appointments on time. Falkor can fly and assists the protagonist with his quest. In addition to luck, he can also dole out sage wisdom. 2. Iron Man - Iron Man (2008) Alyssa Patton, CC BY-SA 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons Robert Downey Jr. getting cast as Tony Stark is one of the greatest casting decisions in film history. He is so perfect in the role I can hardly stand it. Stark is brilliant enough to build his first suit "in a cave, with a box of scraps." His subsequent suits really give him a slew of superpowers, but the coolest one is flight. To be able to fly in a suit of metal is really an accomplishment. I've heard it said that Batman's superpower is being rich. I believe the same applies here except that Iron Man is also a brilliant engineer. Downey Jr.'s improv at the end of the first movie was the catalyst for the MCU: "The truth is... I am Iron Man." Love it! 3. Neo - The Matrix (1999) Spoiler Alert! If you haven't seen The Matrix, then the whole thing is blown. He only gains the ability at the very end of the first movie. However, it's pretty sick. Neo, a mere mortal jacked into The Matrix, is able to see the world as code, and thus manipulate it to meet his every need. You throw a thousand Elronds at him and he still doesn't falter. He can stop bullets. He deftly returns from dying, a feat that few among us have ever managed. And he can fly. He is The One. 4. Russell - Up (2009) The little kid from the movie "Up" is hilarious. His presence on this list is not a perfect match for the category, as he is not flying of his own free will. Instead, he is attempting to graduate to Senior Wilderness Explorer by assisting the elderly, a role he has targeted Mr. Fredrickson for. However, said Mr. Fredrickson, in true wild-west fashion, engages in the "you'll never take me alive, coppers" activity of flying his house to South America via balloons. Russell, in his quest to help the old dude out, becomes an unwitting passenger aboard the house whilst engaged in a Snipe hunt. All and all, a great family flick and Russell is hilarious and perhaps my youngest favorite flyer (while Mr. Fredrickson might be one of the oldest). 5. Thor - Thor Ragnarok (2017) Everything about this movie is awesome. Thor is a god (the god of thunder). At various points in this movie, his dad dies and he is in a quest for justice against both his sister and his brother (famlies be crazy). He also faces off against an Avenger at one point. It is a complicated operation of good vs. evil. He handles it with much aplomb and operates with a noble sense of right and wrong. Chris Hemsworth is fantastic in this role and Taika Waititi unlocks something special here in his role as director. A humerous superhero is absolutely a character that belongs on Top 11 Flying Movie Characters. 6. Caractacus Potts and Family - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) The inventor, Caractacus Potts (played by Dick Van Dyke), scrounges together enough money to purchase an old race car that has wrecked. He rebuilds it (and adds some mad-scientist modifications) and rebrands it as Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (named for the totally normal sounds the engine is making). He takes his two children and the heiress to a candy fortune to the beach to break it in. There he regales them all with a story that includes all of them and the car, with an ability to transform into a boat or a flying car. While the obvious answer to greatest flying car in a movie is the DeLorean at the end of Back to the Future (and subsequent sequels), this car has character and I dig its vibe. 7. Peter Pan - Hook (1991) Whether you go with the one that never grows up in the animated Disney movie from the '50s, or the Robin Williams version that has grown up and forgotten his pals in Neverland in the '90s, you gotta love Peter Pan. He and his sidekick Tinkerbell fly around and thwart pirate activities and hang out with mermaids and while away their time by not growing up. As someone for whom death is the biggest fear, I am drawn in by a character that doesn't age. Instead he just aims for the 2nd star on the right and flies straight on 'til morning. I'm jealous. 8. Harry Potter - Harry Potter Films (2001-2011) Harry Potter was the title star of 7 books, 8 movies, and a forthcoming TV show. He's kind of a big deal. And, as luck would have it, kind of a natural at flying on a broomstick. While he does encounter some bone-crushing setbacks, dude plays a mean seeker on the Quidditch pitch. There are countless characters in this story, and thus tons of wizards who can fly, but few are as thoroughly discussed as Harry (in our world or his), so I'll take Potter as my flying wizard. 9. Mary Poppins - Mary Poppins (1964) She comes flying in on an umbrella to care for a couple of spoiled rich kids (their surname is literally Banks), taking them on an adventure to an animated land with a one man band named Bert (Dick Van Dyke makes another appearance on the list!). Julie Andrews stars as the "practically perfect in every way" nanny. She doesn't stand for their nonsense and sings about doing chores and taking medicine and stuff. While she may have used her magical powers to literally blow away the competition, she can also use her magical wind powers to fly (or fall with style) whilst using an umbrella. 10. The Ghosts - Casper (1995) Casper is the friendly ghost. However, he is also flanked by his uncles with the names Fatso, Stretch, and Stinkie (probably not birth names) and so, you know, they're not all friendly. They are a lot of fun though. When I was a kid, I got a glow-in-the-dark Casper hand puppet from Pizza Hut (hooray! brand tie-ins!). We used to go there a lot because of Book-It! You remember Book-It? They just gave you pizza for reading. How great was that? Aw man, I read so many books. I wonder if they still do that. Anyway, this movie was lot of fun to watch as a kid and ghosts cannot only fly but they can go through walls and choose when people get to see them. Creepy! 11. The Witches - Hocus Pocus (1993) Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy star as the three Sanderson Sisters, a group of witches that are brought back from the late 1600s by a teenager who lights The Black Flame Candle (whoops!). The witches are out of their element 300 years later, and they fly on a broom and the much less expected mop and vacuum cleaner. They are the perfect combination of funny and scary. It's great for a Halloween movie the whole family can enjoy. Final Thoughts There are all sorts of characters throughout cinema that fly. Superman didn't make my list. Hiccup and Toothless from "How to Train Your Dragon" and Aladdin's Magic Carpet also just missed my list. Plus, don't forget about Buzz Lightyear (of Star Command). I'm sure that you have your own favorite flying characters. Please let me know in the comments below who I missed. Thanks!

By CJ Tiernan With acting, as with most professions, there is typically a ramp-up period. You don’t hit the ground running, and you don’t expect to. You slowly learn and grow to reach your destiny of greatness over time. This is a list designed to honor the exception to the rule. For whatever reason, the following humans managed to blow us out of the water right off the bat (Yikes! That sentence was one idiom short of a Bingo). This is the list of my Top 11 Debuts by Actors in Movies I’ve ever seen, three of which were actually nominated by the Academy for their work. 1. Alan Rickman - Die Hard (1988) Marie-Lan Nguyen, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons I’m sorry. You mean to tell me that Alan Rickman came in off the street (well, stage, as he was a theater performer before this) and brought to life one of the greatest movie villains of all time? What!? Fun Fact: his ability to speak with an American accent actually led to a script change wherein he pretends to be a hostage when Bruce Willis finds him. From the name “Hans Gruber” to the iconic terror in his eyes as he (Spoiler Alert!) falls to his death, Alan Rickman delivered a winner right out the gates. 2. Natalie Portman - Léon: The Professional (1994) Natalie Portman was only 12 or 13 when she filmed this movie. The content is a little lot more mature than that. Léon follows a young girl who lost her family to an unhinged Gary Oldman and befriends a hitman in pursuit of revenge. It would be a heartwarming connection if not for the fact that he’s teaching her how to get away with murder (and some really off-limits love radiating off her). Portman’s performance is incredible and the range she shows in this role would be taxing on anyone, let alone someone also trying to survive Junior High. 3. Sharlto Copley - District 9 (2009) Ok, so I read, and then had to reread that not only was Copley not an actor prior to this movie, but that he improvised a lot of his dialogue. If that’s true, this is one of the greatest castings ever. He is incredible. Now I’m willing to admit that I’m easily swayed by the South African accent but, even putting that aside, he is remarkable. He is acting alongside aliens and CGI and green screens and all sorts of violent chaos and he was able to perform the way he did. Incredible! Side quest: watch (or largely hear) him in the movie “Hardcore Henry.” It is a wild, first-person shooter style movie that is a lot of fun (especially if you’re not easily susceptible to motion sickness). 4. Dev Patel - Slumdog Millionaire (2008) This movie is wonderful and absolutely earned the Best Picture Oscar. Dev Patel, as the star and main character, made the movie (as in, was essential to it's greatness, not that he was behind the camera or something). While the story was a fun ride, full of fortune and fear, he does a great job of grounding what could otherwise drift toward a fantastical story. If you don’t know the story and haven’t seen the movie, you simply must adjourn to the home theater and take it in. Essentially, an orphan on the Indian (In India, not American Indian) version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” is accused of cheating on the game show, but we get a chance to see, through flashbacks, how he actually knows the answers. 5. Hailee Steinfeld - True Grit (2010) Steinfeld was only 13 years old when True Grit came out (apparently that’s a winning debut age). Believe it or not, that doesn’t crack the Top 11 youngest Oscar nominees (labor laws in Old Hollywood were governed as effectively as sports gambling in college football is today). Nevertheless, she was incredible. She harbors a gravitas and a world-weariness that shouldn’t be possible for someone that young. Also, she had the chops to go toe-to-toe with Jeff Bridges in a Coen Brothers movie. That’s impressive, and that’s not just, like, my opinion, man. 6. Zendaya - Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) As MJ, the love interest of Spider-Man alter ego (Spoiler Alert!) Peter Parker, Zendaya offers up perhaps the most understated performance on this list. She is cool, aloof, delightfully sardonic and quick witted. She is the perfect foil to Tom Holland’s Spider-Man, who is extremely awkward and uncomfortable in his own skin. Plus, they met on set and are still clinging to a relationship 10 years later. Yay! 7. Barkhad Abdi - Captain Phillips (2013) As I recall, Abdi was working as a Minneapolis limo driver before absolutely terrifying audiences (and Tom Hanks) in Captain Phillips. That is quite the jump. While we all remember the line, “Look at me… Look at me… I’m the Captain now…” what you may not know is that the line was improvised. The gumption it takes to put on your improv hat with Tom Hanks in your first movie ever is bonkers. It earned him an Oscar nom. 8. Julie Andrews - Mary Poppins (1964) Julie Andrews is famous for having one of the most amazing voices in movie history. Between this movie (for which she won an Oscar) and the one with the von Trapps, she really had a run in the mid ‘60s wherein the theaters were alive with the sound of her music. The song and dance elements she and Dick Van Dyke own are really incredible, but I’m blown away by her acting. She (practically perfect in every way) straddles the very fine line between the stern nature to be taken seriously as a nanny and the whimsy of conjuring floor lamps from handbags and dancing with animated penguins whilst singing nonsense words. It does make you wonder what was in that spoonful of sugar. 9. Robin Williams - Popeye (1980) Robin Williams has a history of being a wild and crazy guy. Indeed, if you’ve ever seen any of his standup, you’ve seen a man sweat, swear, and storm around the stage. He channeled that energy (with a helping hand from a helping of cocaine), into one of the wilder movies you will ever see. He is Popeye (of “the Sailor Man” fame), and has the spinach-induced forearms to prove it. He also talks out of the side of his mouth the entire time. It is an incredible performance that raises the tide, lifting the other boats (the other boats in this instance being the rest of the movie). 10. Bruce Campbell - The Evil Dead (1981) Bruce Campbell’s autobiography is the masterfully titled “If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor.” I give his performance in the Evil Dead series an A. It’s campy and over-the-top but man is it great. And if you’ve ever seen him, you know about that jaw. It’s playing for keeps and taking no prisoners. His work in the reboot/sequel/spinoff series “Ash vs Evil Dead” may have been his best of his career. 11. Warwick Davis - Return of the Jedi (1983) This is the only actor on my list whom you can’t see in their performance (if you don’t count Robin Williams hiding beneath his forearms). Warwick Davis plays Wicket W. Warrick, an Ewok on the forest moon of Endor. Using rocks and sticks and stuff, he helps the Rebels defeat the Empire. The character is so much fun that Davis makes the list even though he’s buried in costume and makeup. Clearly, he made an impression, because he wound up being invited back for another 5 or so Star Wars movies, playing several different characters. In a wonderful, full-circle moment, he not only starred in the Harry Potter series with Alan Rickman, but he played the physical role of Marvin the Paranoid Android in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” that was voiced by Rickman. Final Thoughts A good performance in a movie can go unnoticed. It wasn’t so bad that it pulled you out of the story, nor was it so good that you felt it’s emotional impact. A good performance is a noble pursuit. These actors managed to surpass that lofty expectation from jump street. Their impact is noticed and perceived and remembered and, in many instances, launched one heck of a career. I hope you enjoyed these performances as much as I did. If not, please let me know who you believe belongs on the list instead. Here’s a list of a few performances that just missed my list. Thanks! Have a great day! Jason Schwartzman - Rushmore (1998) Anne Hathaway - The Princess Diaries (2001) Jason Statham - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) Cameron Diaz - The Mask (1994) Glenn Close - The World According to Garp (1982)

By CJ Tiernan Celebrating a Holiday with family and friends is one of the best things you get to do all year. We all bring our own traditions and practices to a Holiday celebration. It can be fun to watch someone else celebrate a holiday, especially when they bring something different to the table. We've all seen the Christmas episode with someone who is a little too into their traditions or the Halloween episode where a character has a singular focus on scaring someone else who is super not into that. What I love even more is watching characters celebrate a Holiday we have no context for here in the real world. Below is a list of my Top 11 favorite Fictional Holidays I've ever encountered in a TV Show. 1. Festivus - Seinfeld S9E10 "The Strike" festivusweb, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons "A Festivus for the rest of us!" George Costanza's father, Frank, brings us the greatest of gifts under the tree: a new holiday. Celebrated 2 days before Christmas, Festivus includes activities such as feats of strength, airing of grievances, and an aluminum pole (stored in the crawl space). It is "all too real." In an episode that featured Kramer on strike at H&H Bagels and George attempting fraud by creating "The Human Fund" ("Money for People"), somehow Festivus stands as the most enduring portion of the episode. It's a Festivus miracle! 2. Treat Yo' Self Day - Parks and Recreation S4E4 "Pawnee Rangers" Treat. Yo. Self. That is the sentiment from Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle in "Parks and Rec." They are not exactly known as the most selfless characters in the show, but they nonetheless decide to declare October 13th to be Treat Yo' Self Day. Designed as a day for self-indulgence, it is simply a day where they treat themselves to anything they want and become enablers for each other (and for Ben when he buys that Batman costume). 3. Slapsgiving - How I Met Your Mother S3E9 "Slapsgiving" This holiday is the gift that keeps on giving. Unlike most of the other holidays on this list, this is largely an actual holiday. As you may have deciphered from the portmanteau in the title, this day is also Thanksgiving. Earlier in the show (season 2), Marshall has won a bet over Barney allowing him to attain five slaps of Barney's face. Marshall opts to dole them out over time for maximum psychological torture. Barney is warned ahead of time that he will be slapped on Thanksgiving, coining the term "Slapsgiving." He manages to alter a holiday designed to give thanks and spend time with the ones you love into "The Stanford Prison Experiment." Spoiler Alert: there are also a Slapsgiving 2 and Slapsgiving 3. What a major delight! (Salutes while saying "Major delight!") 4. National TE Day - NFL 2019 Season Celebrated on the 4th Sunday of every October, National Tight End Day celebrates the unsung hero of the NFL offense. The Tight End has a wide range of tasks throughout the game including both blocking defenders on the line of scrimmage and running routes to catch passes. The godfather of this holiday is George Kittle (University of Iowa Grad, a.k.a Tight End U). He and his then QB, Jimmy G, came up with it in 2018, with the NFL going all in the following year. 5. Katie Holmes Day - AP Bio S3E8 "Katie Holmes Day" This show was criminally under seen during its run and takes place in the city of Toledo, OH. According to the show, Katie Holmes is from Toledo (I didn't look it up to confirm) and she is celebrated by the town to such a degree she has gotten her own day. Townsfolk put on a play showcasing her casting on the TV Show "Dawson's Creek," as well as a citywide auction fundraiser. The best part is kids leave their shoes out on the porch overnight for Katie Holmes to place blueberry muffins in them. This is a weird and wholesome holiday. Seriously, though, you should watch this show. It stars Glenn Howerton and Patton Oswalt in a beautiful power dynamic imbalance plus Paula Pell and Allisyn Snyder are absolute scene-stealers. 6. Galentine's Day - Parks and Recreation S2E16 "Galentine's Day" Taking place the day before Valentine's Day, this is a day that features Leslie gathering her female friends together to celebrate each other. While several holidays on this list are celebrated these days in the real world, this one is probably the one that is celebrated most earnestly. Leslie Knope: not only a great gift-giver on the show, she has given the real world the gift of friendship. 7. Feynman Day - Eureka S5E8 "In Too Deep" Named for physicist Richard Feynman, and celebrated on his birthday, May 11th, this holiday is treated like April Fools' Day in the show Eureka. Feynman was known for his humor and odd personality, so this an homage payment of the highest order. The thing is, the show follows a group of insanely brilliant scientists in a secret lab in Eureka, Oregon, so the pranks get pretty elaborate, sophisticated, and dangerous. Pranks include a person whose outfit is being altered remotely, a helicopter is flipped upside down (not while in flight), a person's voice is replaced with dolphin noises (like that Key & Peele sketch), and an office is turned into an aquarium. I'm sure the fictional company Global Dynamics loves seeing money and payroll spent on these types of things. Seriously, though, I love this show. 8. Refrigerator Day - Dinosaurs S2E12 "Happy Refrigerator Day" Dinosaurs was an awesome '90s show. It featured dinosaurs living like people, played by a combo of puppets and people in costumes and makeup. A dinosaur sitcom! Again, fantastic! During this episode, the dinosaurs celebrate the invention of the thing that allowed them to stop roaming the earth and settle down to have families: the refrigerator. It is a very funny, tongue-in-cheek holiday that I love for its simple innocence. The patriarch, Earl, is so genuinely into the holiday, praising the advent of food storage. I'm trying to think of a day where we celebrate an inanimate object. Arbor Day, maybe? Certainly nothing like this, the so called "Happiest Holiday in Pangaea." 9. Leap Day - 30 Rock S6E9 "Leap Day" Technically, this holiday exists. In fact, I'd probably have it higher if that wasn't the case. However, Tina Fey and brilliant minds behind 30 Rock altered this holiday to add some fun mythos behind it. Leap Day is the 29th of February, which is a date that occurs once every 4 years (with additional rules applying on certain round numbers to make the math more accurate). 30 Rock added fun features like a mythical character (Leap Day William, played gamely by Jim Carrey in a Rom Com within the show opposite Andie MacDowell) who exchanges candy for children's tears when he emerges from the Mariana Trench once every 4 years. It also features Alec Baldwin in a Christmas Carol-esque existential crisis. 'Twas one of the best holiday episodes ever. 10. Whacking Day - The Simpsons S4E20 "Whacking Day" Celebrated annually on May 10th (aw man, you could go back-to-back on holidays if you celebrate this one right before Feynman Day), the denizens of Springfield drive snakes into the town square, only to beat them with sticks and clubs. Now, if you do wish to celebrate this holiday, you may not want to dig as deeply into its history as Bart does in the episode (he reads a book by Bob Woodward on the history of Whacking Day), as it takes a turn that offends my Irish roots. On the surface, though: violence against animals sounds intriguing as part of a town-wide tradition. Speaking of violence against animals... 11. Weasel Stomping Day - Robot Chicken S2E12 "The Munnery" Robot Chicken is a stop-motion animation comedy show on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. It doesn't offer a linear story, instead operating as an anthology or a sketch show. In this episode, it features a "Weird Al" song, extolling the glory of Weasel Stomping Day. Technically, the appearance of the song on the show is not the genesis of the idea. Mr. Yankovic wrote the song and released it on his album "Straight Outta Lynwood," and Seth Green and the other brilliant minds behind Robot Chicken created a music video for the song which was latter added to an episode of the show. However, I'm sure there are plenty of people who hadn't heard it before this show. Plus, I don't have a Top 11 Fictional Holidays from Songs List yet. Anyway, during the song, written in the style of Christmas Carols of the '60s, people are adorned in Viking hats and boots. Kids and parents alike are encouraged to stomp on any and all weasels. To draw them in, one might spread mayo on the lawn. "It's tradition, that makes it okay." Final Thoughts There are all sorts of different holidays that have been manufactured for TV shows at all times of year. Sometimes a holiday episode is wholesome and sometimes it is played for laughs. Who doesn't love a holiday episode? I left several great fictional holidays of my list so I'm sure you have one that you wish I'd included on the list. Please let me know in the comments below. Thanks!

By CJ Tiernan Creating something new is hard. To conjure something from nothing takes time and effort. This is a list showcasing people braggadociously showing off their skills. They have created something new, inside of something they created. My list, drawn from books, movies, and TV shows, illustrates invention within creation. Hat tip to all you intrepid writers. This is my Top 11 List of the Greatest Fictional Games in the history of fiction. 1. Jumanji – Jumanji - Movie “In the jungle you must wait, until the dice read 5 or 8.” [Insert mind-blown emoji here]. Jumanji is a wild game that brings the dangers of the jungle to your gaming parlor or, occasionally, brings you directly to the source. I’m a sucker for a board game and I would absolutely LOVE a game where the pieces move themselves when you roll the dice. Manual labor is for the birds. 2. CharDee MacDennis - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - TV This is my favorite episode of the show. The game is a weird trivia game where they all wrote down questions and answers, years previous, with the added benefit of unexpected side quests. While this is a game that tragically lacks a home edition, I absolutely love watching these characters pair-up and face-off in a game without a clearly defined set of rules. 3. Quidditch - Harry Potter - Book Quaffle, bludger, seeker, and snitch, this game is played on a pitch. Step one: fly on brooms. Step two: score more than the opponent. I’m in. I’m all the way in. J.K. Rowling does a tremendous job of explaining the rules in a such a manner that one can actually play this one at home (in a modified, grounded version). It is unquestionably one of the most ubiquitous fictional games in pop culture history. 4. True American - New Girl - TV Part drinking game, part American patriotism, this game is a complete riot. The rules are never clearly defined enough for viewers to play at home, but that hasn't stopped them from trying. In a game with absurd rules, if you don’t know them, make them up yourself. My grandfather once said, “If at first you don’t succeed: cheat.” Truer words have never been uttered (or been more American). 5. Oasis - Ready Player One - Book Warner Bros. Pictures, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons This is the only video game on the list. I included it because it is a full body, virtual-reality immersion, so I feel it counts. In the Oasis, you can be anyone and go anywhere and do anything (if you have the credits). It is last open-world game society will ever need. Whoa! This is heavy. 6. Cones of Dunshire - Parks and Recreation - TV Ben Wyatt is painted as a nerd on the show but, fearing they seemingly hadn’t properly portrayed how big of a nerd he was, the show runners had him introduce the world to The Cones of Dunshire. The Settlers of Catan seemed to be the launching-off point of creating a game with complicated rules (and many pieces). Keep in mind that even with everything else going on, you can’t forget about the cones. 7. Dogfight Football - Top Gun: Maverick You know what I love about a sport like football? There are levels of sophistication. On the surface, you understand the team with the most points wins and you get points by taking the football to the extreme end of the field against the will of the opponent. But the more you dig into the strategy of the game, the more incredible the intricasies are. In Dogfight Football, you have two footballs and play both offense and defense simultaneously. The complexity becomes almost infinite. Or, you know, you just play shirtless on the beach and have a gay old time. P.S. There are 12 games on this list because I forgot to include this game on the intial publication. Sorry! 8. The Hunger Games - The Hunger Games - Book This is one of the only games on the list I’m not interested in playing. There’s a real mortal-peril element to the game that doesn’t interest me. Unfortunately, violence as a spectator sport is a frequent trope in a post-apocalyptic future. I blame the Romans. 9. Marshgammon - How I Met Your Mother - TV Marshall created a game to combine all the best elements of all the best games (except, of course, backgammon, which only appears in the name). Or, so he says. In reality, he simply crafted this game to interrogate Ted’s girlfriend (Spoiler alert: NOT the titular mother). Had he actually succeeded in combining all the best games, this would be higher on the list. 10. Bamboozled / Cups – Friends - TV I smooshed together two games on this list because, well, it’s my list and I think they’re both funny. Bamboozled is a game show that Joey is auditioning to host. We get to see him and Ross and Chandler try to figure it out (to delightfully comedic results). Cups is a completely different game on a completely different episode that Chandler is making up on the spot to give Joey his money back. Say it with me now, “Well, that’s a full cup!” 11. The Running Man - The Running Man – Book This is another murder game available for national broadcast. Turning the cash grab of desperate people into a televised game sounds horrible. It also sounds like something we’re getting closer and closer to making a reality. Lawyers get a bad rap, but I suspect their presence is the only thing keeping this Stephen King concoction from becoming reality. 12. Holochess / Tri-Dimensional Chess/ Wizard’s Chess – Star Wars / Star Trek / Harry Potter – Movie/ TV / Book I’ve played chess. Not to brag, but I was on the chess team in 4th grade. It is deceptively complex. The two most universal Sci-Fi franchises in history (and the biggest book series since Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) all managed to add to the intricacy. “Hmm, let's take that square board and turn it into a circle. Oh, and the pieces fight each other.” “One level will never do. Give me all the levels! It’s all levels, Jerry!” “The pieces are alive! Alive! Obedient and violent, but alive!” That’s a working theory on the conversations surrounding the creation of the games, I wasn’t actually there. Final Thoughts Man, I wish I could play some of these games. I know they did release a home version of Jumanji, but it’s not the same. Some of the games have had fans augment the existing rules to create a more realized and fleshed-out version of the one we’ve seen on screen or read, enabling one to play in real life, but it’s not the same. Instead, we’ll just continue to enjoy watching or reading our favorite characters play unreachable games. Alas. If I missed any of your favorite games that don’t exist in our world, please be sure to include it in the comments. Thanks! Zathura – Zathura - Book Caravan - Fallout: New Vegas – Video Game Diseases - How I Met Your Mother - TV BASEketball – BASEketball - Movie Poohsticks - Winnie the Pooh - Book

By CJ Tiernan Disney World has four distinct theme parks in Orlando, Florida: Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Animal Kingdom, and one that keeps getting renamed but I think is currently called Hollywood Studios. EPCOT was the second of these four parks to open and stands as my favorite one. EPCOT is an acronym for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow and was a land of the future in Walt Disney's eyes. It came to fruition well after his death, but was designed to honor the spirit of his vision of the world to come. Divided into two sections, World Showcase and Future World, EPCOT was built to celebrate world cultures and paint an idyllic future, highlighting where our technological advancements can take us. Below is a list of my Top 11 favorite rides I ever got a chance to ride at EPCOT. It's worth noting that the last time I was there was 2021 and the new Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind ride didn't fully exist yet, so it will not make my list. 1. Spaceship Earth My Siblings and I at EPCOT - July 2017 While the many iterations of Disneyland and Disney World across the globe love their castles, to me the most iconic Disney theme park landmark is the EPCOT ball. It stands as an architectural marvel not only for its unique shape but also for the fact they crammed an entire ride inside. Spaceship Earth is the pinnacle of what a ride should be. It is fun, it is accessible to the whole family, and in keeping with the strategy of the theme park as a whole, it is educational. At the moment, it is a story of human communication throughout the history of humanity. It takes us from cavemen, to the advent of papyrus, all the way to the invention and subsequent ubiquity of computers, and then tries to push that vision past the now and into the future. When I was kid, I remember seeing video conferencing at the end of this ride for the first time, and now with Zoom and FaceTime, it's the norm. Such a fun and unique ride and unquestionably the greatest one at EPCOT. 2. Maelstrom This one no longer exists at the park. After the success of the animated film "Frozen," Disney transformed this attraction into a ride called "Frozen Ever After." While I much preferred the original version, don't worry, "Frozen Ever After" will also make my list. The first time I ever rode this ride, it felt as though we had stumbled on to something that no one else knew about. It was tucked in like a weird back corner of the Norwegian Pavilion and seemed off the beaten path. Once inside, you would kind of just weave back and forth inside of a single room where you could see the ride vehicle and you could just take in this enormous mural painted on the wall featuring vikings and trolls and tipping its hand at the ride ahead. The ride itself was a gondola-style water ride. I vividly remember the line "you are not the first to pass this way" with a mesmerizing one-eyed Odin serving as both narrator and warning. If you're in possession of a time machine, I highly recommend dipping your toes into these waters (1988-2014 is going to need to be your target). 3. Soarin' This is a really cool ride. You sit down and then get lofted into the air in like a 3-story hang-glider in front of a giant screen. Various versions of this ride have left you hang-gliding around the world or over California. Starting in 2026, you will be "Soarin' Across America." It is a really unique experience because not only are you in the air, they create effects to make the experience immersive, like blowing wind in your hair and manufacturing aromas you would have access to in the various areas you go. You can smell oranges and the open seas. It is a very cool and unique experience that Meta has not yet been able to replicate with their glasses. 4. Universe of Energy Adventure with Ellen I like dinosaurs. As a kid, I loved dinosaurs. This was another ride that allowed for education and fun. It started with a video of Ellen DeGeneres, Jamie Lee Curtis, and the incomparable Bill Nye playing some Jeopardy (with the late Alex Trebek). The ride talks about energy and renewable and non-renewable resources. I'd argue that Bill Nye is our most important non-renewable resource. Anyway, back to the dinosaurs. You get on these comically large vehicles that feel like auditorium sections on wheels, and roll through the late Jurassic Period (actually, I think it was kind of a mishmash of all sorts of different eras to maximize the presence of dope dinosaurs). There were a whole bunch of different tableaus with animatronic dinosaurs. I wanted to be there forever. Now, it's the new Guardians of the Galaxy ride, so it better be really good. 5. Mission: Space I am someone who is highly susceptible to motion sickness. I have heard that this ride will really knock a lot of people down with its ability to inflict nausea. I am fortunate that this ride doesn't do that to me. Instead, I walk in, Gary Sinese says "we need you to save the world" or whatever, and then I get launched into outer space. It is absolutely insane! To create the G-Force necessary to simulate a launch into space without first requiring a physical, the Disney Imagineers made each ship a pod that could spin to create up to 2 and a half Gs of force. Getting launched into space is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend it. 6. Test Track This is another ride that has had multiple iterations. Disney, man. Always tinkering. My favorite version of this ride was the first one. You are essentially placed in a car and are operating as a crash-test dummy. They test anti-lock brakes, they send you through hot and cold temperatures, and they even did a head-on barrier test (Spoiler Alert: they didn't actually drive you into a wall, at the last second, the doors open and you instead do a speed test outside before reentering the building. The later iteration of the ride was more of a "design a car and see how well it fairs" type of a thing that didn't have the same charm and simplicity as "you're a test dummy: deal with it." There is a new theme that started in 2025 and I believe they incorporate AI or something, but again, I have not yet had the honor of partaking. 7. Journey Into Imagination with Figment Figment is my guy! I love that little purple dragon. Dreamfinder and Figment are such a fun and unique combo. Unlike much of the Disney World attractions, they were characters created specifically for the ride, not pre-existing IP. The original version of the ride that I remember from my childhood featured Dreamfinder on an odd bike in the sky and a wonderful tune called "One Little Spark." The song, and the attraction as a whole, extolls the virtues of one's imagination. Figment is the anthropomorphic embodiment of imagination (again, love that little dude). The later iteration of the ride changed some elements but also incorporated Eric Idle, my favorite of the Monty Python clan, so it wasn't all bad. They have a room where everything is upside down which is always nice, but I miss the original. Plus, the new one, at least last time I was on it, felt really worn out, which is a sensation I don't like feeling at Disney World. It chips away at the magic. 8. El Rio Del Tiempo This is another ride that feels hidden in the World Showcase. You have to navigate through like a Mexican restaurant and inside of an Incan or Mayan pyramid to get to the queue. For nearly twenty years now, it has been called the "Gran Fiesta Tour Starring the Three Caballeros." It follows the titular "Three Caballeros" as Donald Duck gets lost and the other two birds (a parrot and a rooster) attempt to find him. Disney essentially just ret-conned these characters into the existing ride. It feels like they aren't necessary, which is why I prefer the original, because the ride itself seems to otherwise be the same. It toured through Mexican culture, had an ominous volcano eruption, and even featured some animatronics that are remarkably similar to the ones used in "It's a Small World." Plus, it's a water ride. Water Ride = Dope. That's just math. 9. Living with the Land Speaking of water rides, "Living with the Land" might be the longest water ride in history. You get a chance to sail through various pieces of agricultural history and even an active garden. You get to see some jackfruit, some hydroponics, you know, really make a day of it. You get to coast through greenhouses and different biomes. It is a very relaxing experience. The ride lasts for like 15 minutes. At a theme park in Florida, 15 minutes of sitting down indoors is wonderful. At the very end of the ride, they tag you with the signature line, "only then, will we truly be living with the land." Ah, it hits every time. 10. Remy's Ratatouille Adventure This is the newest ride at EPCOT that I have ridden. You get to feel like you've been shrunk down (shrank down? shrinked?) to the size of a rat and you get to hang with your boy Remy. The ride vehicles were unique and the heat you could feel from the oven room was fun. I believe they recently opted to eliminate the 3-D element and the need for said glasses. It's just too screen-heavy for me. I prefer my rides drenched in animatronics. This one was a little lacking. Very cool, otherwise though. And it's tucked in the French Pavilion, which I don't think got enough shine before they added this ride. C'est magnifique! 11. Frozen Ever After I love the movie "Frozen." At the time of this writing, I have it at #250 on my all-time list of favorite movies. It's a great flick with fantastic music. But I'm always gonna resent this ride a little for replacing one of my all-time faves. It is inevitable to compare this ride to that one, and it just doesn't hold up. That ride was dark and ominous and this one is just so bright. I'm also a little bummed that the animatronics (yes! animatronics!) have weird, projected faces instead of just your standard animatronics. Innovation is great and I love that Disney likes to try new things, but I wish the price wasn't childhood nostalgia. But, that being said, yeah, obviously I WANT to build a snowman. Final Thoughts EPCOT is sensational and I really hope that Disney continues to cling to the ideals of the genesis of the park and works to have it serve as a hub for innovation and looking to the future. It seems more and more it is leaning toward pre-existing IP by adding in aquatic characters like Nemo and Moana and shedding originals like Maelstrom and El Rio del Tiempo. The rides that just missed my list were "Horizons" ( I think I only rode it once and I was like 6 at the time so I don't remember it that well but I think it had some of the "looking to the future" elements as the EPCOT ball ride) and "Honey I Shrunk the Audience" (which is really more of an attraction than a ride but was a fun 4-D experience). If I missed any of your favorite parts of EPCOT, or my order was a swing and miss, please let me know in the comments below. Thanks! I will always love this park, I just hope Disney continues to seek "one little spark, of inspiration..."

By CJ Tiernan Back before we had our food hand delivered to our doorstep, we left our little homes and went and picked it up ourselves. But we didn’t completely encumber ourselves with the Sisyphean task of acquiring ready-to-eat snacks. Nope. We used the drive-thru (see also: drive-through). One simply placed their order from the comfort of their vehicle and moseyed around back to pick it up from a window carved in the side of a building. Pure, magisterial splendor. Since the advent of the drive-thru (itself a modification of the drive-up), there have been a large swath of improvements placed on various levels of the process. Below is my list of my Top 11 Innovations in the Drive-Thru sphere that I’m aware of. Enjoy! Phillip Pessar, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons 1. Order Confirmation Board You ever order something from a drive-thru restaurant, not check your food until you get home, and then find out that your order is wrong? That they completely beefed it. Man, what a disappointing moment! It used to happen to me a lot as a kid when I’d order a burger at McDonald’s. My request was “ketchup only” and it was frequently botched. Now, courtesy of the confirmation board, if they don’t see I’m out here ordering only ketchup on my burger, I can identify and correct it before it’s too late. Accuracy, that’s the spice of life. 2. Digital Menu Board What an arduous task being the sign guy must have been back in the day. All those little tiny letters you had to slide all the way across, one at a time, sometimes in reverse order. Oof. Now, the menu board can change from inside the safety of the building. Are you switching from breakfast to lunch? No need to spin the signs around. Just push the button. Are the ice cream machines down (why are they always down?)? You can do little cross out lines across the ice cream options and break people’s hearts visually instead of orally. Making it digital also allowed for a confirmation screen. Spoiler Alert: there will be a lot of overlap between things on my list. 3. Multiple Lanes There are certain times of day where the action at a fast-food restaurant is absolutely poppin’. To maximize efficiency, some places have adopted the split-lane or multiple lane system. You can target the bottlenecks and reduce wait time by adding more lanes. Chick-fil-A seems to have baked this process into their architecture more than most, but it’s become increasingly common. Sometimes, one lane is normal and the other is for pickup or online orders, streamlining and incentivizing the use of the app. Just like the grocery store, you’ll always pick the wrong lane, but rest assured that the fact there are multiple means you’ll be in and out faster than you otherwise would have #Science. 4. POS Terminals Long story short: there are buttons for each menu item, so rather than having to type an order in or hand-tabulate the total, you simply hit the buttons corresponding with the order as you receive it and the system, which will communicate the order to the kitchen and the other windows, does all the heavy lifting. (Yikes! That wasn’t nearly as short as I intended. That is a run-on sentence for the ages). I apologize for the education session at the conclusion of this message. POS, for those not in the know, stands for Point-of-Sale. 5. Headset / Hands-free / Remote Order Takers One does not simply walk up to a drive-thru window and place an order. You verbally deliver your order to the unseen proverbial man behind the curtain and then wait to find out if they got it right (or are even there at all). It is an odd, impersonal system, but it allows for the kitchen to begin your order before you ever even pay. The employee can listen to your order and push the buttons without having to fret over switching back and forth between two things. In the immortal words of Sade: Smooth Operator. Also, certain locations will dispatch humans armed with electronics to take your order in person in front of the normal order spot when the line gets too long, furthering line-busting and expediting the process. 6. Multiple Windows Picture this: back in the day, they only carved one window in the side of the building. You paid and received your order at the same window. I mean, what!? Can you imagine? Science, technology, and time partnered up to create a second (and sometimes third) window in the wall to enable the bottleneck to get the bottle-heck out of here (I mean, sometimes, I just write stuff down. They’re not all gonna be winners). 7. Vacuum Tubes/Contactless Delivery Going to the bank these days is a task as unfamiliar as washing one’s bloomers in the washboard basin. But when I was a kid in the ‘90s, oh man did I enjoy me some vacuum tubes. When I worked in retail, I repeatedly advocated for a vacuum tube delivery system from the backroom to various salesfloor hot spots. It… did not take. Plus, thanks to the pandemic, the contactless delivery became essential (like the workers themselves). We didn’t fully grasp the airborne-specific nature of COVID and would wipe down our groceries when we got home. Contactless delivery was designed to remove the person-to-person nature of that risk. What a wild time that was. 8. App Ordering / Online Order-Ahead If you’ve been to McDonald’s recently, you know about this one. They start every interaction with “will you be using your mobile app today?” And, yeah, I have the app but, fast-food restaurants are the candy at a checkout lane. They’re impulse buys. I’m not scheduling my day around a trip to Arby’s. I black out and then notice there’s a curly fry lying on the floor beside the brake pedal. How did it get there? I don’t know but I’ll find out next month when I pay my credit card bill. And while we’re on the subject: stop paying with cash at a drive-thru. This is supposed to be a fast process and you’re slowing it down. If you’re gonna live life in the fast-food lane, you gotta pay with card. 9. Kitchen Display System You remember in movies and stuff when diners had those paper tickets they just stab with a giant metal rod facing straight toward the heavens? Who invented this contraption? This device that was seemingly generated purely for a Final Destination movie? Well, those, my friends, have gone the way of the 90-minute movie. We now have digital displays in the kitchens that educate which items go to which orders and the order in which they need to be fulfilled, complete with modifications and real-time updates. We already hide the people working in the kitchen way in the back, now we don’t even see them at all, we just have a message board with a never-ending list of demands. 10. Pre-Order Signage When you get to the menu board to place your order, the built-in speaker (and the human operating it) need your order now to keep the line moving. It is not the time to make decisions; the decision needs to have already been made. Enter the pre-order signage. It is a menu board (or at least a sampling of it) that allows you to see what is available for order before the spotlight turns its bright glow on you. While it will sometimes just be educating you on limited-time offers and newly available items, it is always a welcome opportunity to, as Jeremy Irons says: be prepared. 11. Third Window for Pickup If you are someone who likes to customize your order, order for a large group of people, or use those little life-hacks for fresh fries like ordering them without salt, then you may have experienced “The Third Window.” It is a way of delivering your food to you without having to leave the building, but still getting you out of the way of the people who better toe the line behind you. To be honest, I think the third window and the vacuum tubes could team up for a real great opportunity, but alas, we haven’t gotten there yet. Someday… Final Thoughts Drive-thrus are wonderful ways to receive warm food fast (or, I guess you could order a salad or something too). They allow for an audible that doesn’t require planning, or a place to get lunch when you’ve only got a 30-minute break. They are a prodigious service to society and have evolved greatly over the years. These were the biggest and best innovations I could think of. Please let me know if I missed any of your favorites. And who knows, the world is always evolving. The best innovation yet could still be around the corner. Thanks! Have a great day!

By CJ Tiernan Dire Straits was a British rock band formed in the late '70s and they performed on and off until the mid '90s. They featured Mark Knopfler on lead guitar and lead vocals, David "Pick" Withers on Drums and percussion, David Knopfler on rhythm guitar and backing vocals, and John Illsley on bass and backing vocals. I know you had the same thought I did: how in the world is it the only guy without a guitar in his hand is the guy nicknamed "Pick?" It just feels like a miss, like how the only guy in ZZ Top without a hilariously long beard was named Frank Beard. Anyway, these guys were an awesome band with a slew of hits. They blended genres with their rock, as some songs hit hard and others had a dash of blues or jazz sprinkled in. Below is a list of my 11 favorite songs by Dire Straits I've ever heard. Heinroch Klaffs, CC BY-SA 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons 1. Sultans of Swing (1978) - Dire Straits Often times you hear of a band going through struggles and years of practice (read: failure) before finally making it big. And those are the bands that you've actually heard of. The Beatles, for example had a very intense origin story. For Dire Straits, the first single from their self-titled debut album (released one year after they formed) was "Sultans of Swing." They came out the gates... swinging. This song is my favorite. It is the perfect mix of rock: you can sing along to it and shred some mean air guitar. 2. Romeo and Juliet (1980) - Making Movies I bet you'll never guess where the title for this song came from. Why yes, it is about the star-crossed lovers of Shakespearian lore. It also mixes in some more contemporary references like "Hey, la, my boyfriend's back." (Is a reference to a song from the '60s a contemporary reference in 1980?) This song hits a sweet spot that many of the band's biggest hits managed to find between tender and rock and roll. 3. Money For Nothing (1985) - Brothers in Arms This was their biggest hit from their biggest album. It's another eternal banger. Fun fact: the "I want my MTV" line that gets sung over and over is actually performed by Sting (you know, of The Police) and he sings it to the beat of his own hit song "Don't Stand too Close to Me." Plus, Weird Al did his own version of the song for the movie "UHF" that lampooned the acclaimed music video and sung about the Beverly Hillbillies. The video intro for "Money for Nothing" was computer animated. In 1985, the graphics were... something to behold. The animated elements added to the live action shots, however: sick! 4. Heavy Fuel (1991) - On Every Street This song absolutely slaps. It might be the most robust bass in their catalog. It features lyrics that sing the praises of such vices as "nicotine for breakfast" and "scotch all night." It's the kind of song you throw on while cruising down the road with the wind in your hair and forget yourself for five minutes. It is based off a book titled Money that follows '80s consumer culture down the hedonistic rabbit hole with a main character so self-entitled his surname is literally "Self." Ha. Good one! 5. Brothers in Arms (1985) - Brothers in Arms The title track and closing track of their best selling album, "Brothers in Arms" is possibly Dire Straits' most powerful song. The phrase conjures up images of soldiers in war. The song express a yearning to "No longer burn to be brothers in arms," encouraging a call to arms to end a war. This song is apparently a frequent choice to be played at military funerals. It has haunting vocals and an incredible guitar solo and is unquestionably one of the bands most beautiful songs. 6. On Every Street (1991) - On Every Street Dire Straits does something unique in their music that you don't always see. My favorite part of multiple songs of theirs takes place not only at the end of the song but after the lyrics have subsided. This song has melancholy lyrics and a mellow melody until the final minute or so when it crescendos into sonic drama in a really fascinating way. The guitar solo outro (or occasionally sax solo outro) is like their signature move. Speaking of signature moves: dibs on "sax solo outro" as a new tongue-twister (Gotcha! You thought I was gonna say band name). 7. Calling Elvis (1991) - On Every Street This is a fun song to rock out to. The percussion really drives this song and makes it feel like there is a level of urgency at play. It is really just singing about a guy who believes that Elvis is still alive and is trying to reach out because he is a fan. The genesis of the song was as simple as Mark Knopfler once being told he was "harder to reach than Elvis." Funny where we get our ideas. (Funnier still that I said "we" like "The Knopf" and I are on the same level). 8. Lady Writer (1979) - Communiqué Given some of the language used in Dire Straits' songs, it would be reasonable to jump to the conclusion that this title feels a skosh misogynistic. I don't know one way or the other whether that's true, but I do know that this song sounds a lot like "Sultans of Swing." Like kinda a lot a lot. For that reason alone, it rocks! 9. So Far Away (1985) - Brothers in Arms The guitar in this song is so fun. It has such a unique sound. Classic Dire Straits. This is the opening track on "Brother in Arms." The first four tracks are this one, "Money for Nothing," "Walk of Life," and then "Your Latest Trick." That is a heck of a way to start an album. 10. Your Latest Trick (1985) - Brothers in Arms Ladies and gentleman: the brass section has entered the chat. This song starts with a trumpet (or bongos depending on the version you listen to) and then features a saucy saxophone throughout. (Wait: is the sax part of the brass section? Crap, I think it's a woodwind). Anyway, the vocals are tender and the guitar is great (as always) but this is a saxophone song. Dude, the sax! I might put it second behind only Gerry Rafferty's "Baker Street" for best sax of all time. Aw man, but then there's "Turn the Page" by Bob Seger. I might have to do a Top 11 list for best Sax parts. Stay tuned. 11. Skateaway (1980) - Making Movies This is a great song with highs and lows. It reminds me of something you might hear when Jim Steinman and Meat Loaf team up, but with less piano and more funky guitar. The percussion is a lot like "Calling Elvis," where it feels like the cymbals are driving the speed and energy of the song. It is wonderful. Final Thoughts I don't know if Dire Straits gets enough shine these days. I would imagine that most people know at least a few of their songs, but they really have quite the catalog. In fact, one of their biggest commercial hits, "Walk of Life," was left off my list. I didn't enjoy having to leave "Expresso Love," "Down to the Waterline," and "Tunnel of Love" off my list either (although I hate to perpetuate a common mispronunciation of the word "espresso," the song "Expresso Love" is too great to leave unsaid). If I left any of your favorites off the list, please let me know in the comments below. Thanks and Rock on!

By CJ Tiernan Sometimes you hear a song and it just knocks your socks off. It foments an urge to consume the artist's entire oeuvre or just listen to the song over and over again. But then again, sometimes a song is a miss. It doesn't hit right. It doesn't stick in your mind. You absorb it and move on. That is, until another artist comes along, dusts off the old track, and finds something new in it. Whether it's a new spin, or just done in the artist's typical style, a change of scenery can completely change everything. Below is a list of songs that blew me away, only to find that it was a second (or third or fourth) crack at making it great. I give you my 11 favorite cover songs that were better than the original. 1. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley Original Artist: Leonard Cohen In the show "How I Met Your Mother," Ted Mosby (architect) divulges the translation for the Japanese word "karaoke" is "empty orchestra." He follows this revelation up by asking, "isn't that hauntingly beautiful?" I believe "hauntingly beautiful" is the perfect phrase for describing Jeff Buckley's version of this song. It sounds distant and jarring while also feeling tender and heartfelt. Malcolm Gladwell actually did an entire episode of his "Revisionist History" podcast about this song that is worthy of your time. 2. When the Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin Original Artist: Kansas Joe McCoy and Memphis Minnie I could listen to the beginning of this of song on a loop for the rest of time. It is so great. While the original version is too nothing-burger for me, the Zeppelin cover is epic. Obviously, most everything that Led Zeppelin touched turned to gold. "You Shook Me" and "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" were also cover songs, but "When the Levee Breaks" stands alone in my book as their best cover (and possibly my favorite song of theirs period). 3. Twist and Shout - The Beatles Original Artist: The Top Notes The first time I heard this song was in the parade scene of the movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." Ferris hops up on a float and lip-syncs along to the song. It would be several years before I found out the version I heard was by The Beatles and longer still before I found out it was not originally a song by them. I remember seeing their name listed as the artist when trying to download it off of LimeWire (hopefully the statute of limitations is up on that crime) and I didn't believe it. I launched into research mode (a.k.a. Google) and it wasn't even for a class. The sound just feels so pure and raw, like whenThe Kingsmen sang "Louie Louie." 4. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston Original Artist: Dolly Parton I have never seen the movie "The Bodyguard." I don't really believe in Kevin Costner. He just doesn't scratch that itch for me. My fear is that he could be replaced with a cardboard cutout of Kevin Costner without any element of his performance being lost. However, this song (performed for the movie). Oh man, this song! "I Will Always Love You" is one of the most singular performances of a song in the history of songs. And, believe it or not, it's actually a pretty faithful cover of the original. Whitney Houston just un-country-ifies it a little and, you know, does her thing. 5. Mary, Did You Know? - Pentatonix Original Artist: Michael English Ralph Arversen, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons To be fair to the world at large, creating a 5-part harmony of a song is usually gonna bring out its best. These guys are the bee's knees, especially around the Holiday season. The intensity and energy they bring to their songs is borderline untouchable. "Mary, Did You Know?" tends to stand out as the best among them. Pentatonix actually also has a great cover of Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah." 6. Mad World - Michael Andrews feat. Gary Jules Original Artist: Tears for Fears I'd be curious to know if "Donnie Darko" is still a movie that everyone discovers in High School and has to tell everyone they know about it. That's certainly how I first found my way to it. It is a dark and melancholy movie, so they turned an '80s pop hit into a dark and melancholy song. They stripped this song down and played it with haunting piano and hushed vocals. It's tremendous. 7. Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole Original Artist: Judy Garland This is the only medley on my list. It is also the only song on the list that features the ukulele. It's tough to go up against the greatness of Judy Garland in "The Wizard of Oz." In Israel's defense, he waited like 60 or 70 years to try (you know, let the heat die down a little). This is another version of a song that is really stripped down from the original, replacing a full orchestra with a uke. Sick! 8. Higher Ground - Red Hot Chili Peppers Original Artist: Stevie Wonder Don't get me wrong, the Stevie Wonder version of this song is great. It is unquestionably my favorite original version of all the songs on this list. But that funky bass that Flea adds to the proceedings can't be dismissed. This song has an energy (as do most Red Hot Chili Peppers song) that you can't help but feed off, which feels fitting for a song off the album "Mother's Milk." 9. Because the Night - 10,000 Maniacs Original Artist: Patti Smith Group There are a ton of great choices for best songs from MTV Unplugged. That was a show (maybe "is a show," I don't know if they still do it) where artists would come on and do a concert of a lot of minimalist versions of their songs (a.k.a. acoustic a.k.a. unplugged from the amp). Most of the iconic performances on the show over the years were of the artist's own material. However, in addition to this song, one could choose from any of a half-dozen Nirvana cover songs. I love "Where Did You Sleep Last Night" but I know that a lot of people love the cover of David Bowie's "The Man Who Sold the World." "Because the Night" is my favorite of the Unplugged options. I love the roar of the crowd at the beginning. You can just feel the energy (am I using the word "energy" too much when talking about music? Should I start using something else? Vibes, maybe? How 'bout zeal?) 10. Torn - Natalie Imbruglia Original Artist: Anne Preven The original version of this song sounds even more '90s than this cover version. That feels crazy to me because this song has a real chance to make the list if I did a Top 11 List of the most '90s songs of the '90s (I can't explain it, you just had to be there. Editor's Note: I did end up making said list. You can view it here). This is a version that is more poppy and peppy than the original. It's nice to not just have the only way to make a great cover song be to "strip it down." 11. Love is Blindness - Jack White Original Artist: U2 Have you heard this Jack White guy? He's pretty good. This cover version is so cool. He adds an effervescence (another energy synonym) to the original that Bono and the boys just couldn't seem to find. Add in his vocal work and the way he seems to have his voice break at the peak of the screams. It is awesome. There's also no shortage of guitar-flavored shreddage going on. [Insert "rock on" emoji here] Final Thoughts Cover songs are not just a way to add tracks to a song or setlist. They can be a fresh approach or different take to further showcase the range or musical ability of an artist. I'm sure that you have a favorite cover song. If it didn't make my list, please let me know in the comments. It's possible I just haven't heard it yet. Thanks!

By CJ Tiernan The smell of a freshly baked cookie makes the mouth water and the mind wander. It can take you back to Grandma's kitchen, as a child so small you held the cookie with both hands. Maybe you buried it up to your knuckles in milk. Maybe you even helped make the batter or spooned it onto the tray. A cookie is the perfect vessel for a shot of sugar or a batch of butter. It warms the heart and slaps a smile on your face. Here are my top 11 favorite cookies. 1. Sugar Cookie Nothing beats a sugar cookie for me. I picture the little criss cross pattern on the top of a homemade sugar cookie, with a little extra sprinkle of sugar on top to earn the name. It is buttery and melts in your mouth. It's simple to bake and yet we cherish the recipes handed down to us from generations on high. Simply perfection. 2. Monster Cookie This is a hard left turn from the Sugar Cookie. So many flavors at once. M&Ms, peanut butter, chocolate chips, vanilla. The texture of the oatmeal. When I bake one of these bad boys, I intentionally undercook it to leave the middle soft and gooey. These are a perfect blend of salty and sweet. 3. Chocolate Chip This is the classic. When someone asks you to close your eyes and picture a cookie, this is what you picture. I don't make the rules, it's just what you do. Aromatic, soft, and gooey. I love a chocolate chip cookie. 4. Peanut Butter Blossom I believe this one goes by several names. It is the peanut butter cookie that you place a Hersey's kiss on top of right after you pull it from the oven. Another cookie that is soft and gooey. It is a fun wrinkle on the classic combination of chocolate and peanut butter 5. Snickerdoodle Cookie This is a real buttery cookie. You have to pace yourself on these. Eat more than a dozen or so and your day can really get away from you. I like to bake these because you roll the dough into a ball (wait: how do you use a roller to create a ball? Let's go with "form a ball) and then let it frolic through a cinnamon sugar wonderland. Again, I prefer these cookies soft and warm. 6. Kringla Uff da! I hit you with a curveball. This is a Scandinavian cookie that is more like a sweet bread. You roll it out in to a long thin strand and then shape it like a soft pretzel before baking. It is flour-heavy and rises a lot during a pretty short baking session. As a youth, I baked these with my Grandfather and we created a delicious mess every time. It's a fun seasonal treat and a trip down memory lane. 7. Shortbread Cookie This is the first cookie on here you can order from a sash-wearing child or their overly supportive parents. That's right. My favorite Girl Scout Cookie is Shortbread. Delicious, buttery, crispy. I'm sure no one has any strong opinions on their favorite Girl Scout Cookie and we can all just calmly move along. 8. Oatmeal Cookies I prefer mine without raisins, but that's more a texture thing. Here's another cookie that no one ever has any strong opinions on. I also prefer it soft and unfrosted. That's what you get from a guy that puts Sugar Cookie as his number 1 cookie (sorry for the spoiler if you were reading this list upside down) 9. White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Now this one has some different textures going on but, when you get a good one, the sweetness and the crunch are just perfect. I've been know to gravitate toward these and not just when you're at a graduation party and all the other cookie flavors have been picked over already. 10. Sandwich Cookie Um, the Oreo. Ever heard of it? It's kind of awesome. I am a sucker for a whole bunch of different flavors and I believe I had to dip into the stash of mental health days when they invented the double stuf, but I love the O.G. most of all. In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, it is so choice! If you have the means, I highly recommend it. 11. Butter Cookie Very similar to the Shortbread Cookie in almost every way, these cookies are slightly sweeter than a Shortbread Cookie. They are the ones you get in a tin that have various shapes. Another cookie with a snap or a crunch when you bite it. Cookies come in many shapes and sizes but, the thing about cookies is, they're all good. Sugar! Sugar, sugar, sugar. Me and my grandfather baking Berlinerkranser (Norwegian Christmas cookies)

By CJ Tiernan Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. If you live in the midwest like me, you experience cold, snowy days, imploring you to while away your hours indoors, by the fire, with a mug of cocoa in hand watching Christmas movies. Nearly every Christmas movie has its foundation built from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. One of the main characters has a change of heart at the end and discovers the true meaning of Christmas and basic human decency. My dad likes to just turn to everyone when the change of heart moment happens and say "Dickens." Below is a list of my Top 11 Christmas Movies of all time (with a couple extras thrown in to placate controversy). My Siblings and I ready to watch a Christmas movie, Christmas Eve 2014 1a. Die Hard (1988) This is my list and I believe that this movie is a Christmas movie. Arguments against this stance are basically constructed with two facts. 1) There is no Dickens-esque turn of a character going from bad to good (Spoiler Alert: the bad guy gets his comeuppance). 2) The movie was released in July as an action movie. That's really it. I feel that Die Hard is a Christmas movie because it takes place ENTIRELY during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Furthermore, Christmas is essential to the plot, as the only reason the people who are taken hostage are in the building so late in the evening is due to an office Christmas party. References like "ho ho ho. Now I have a machine gun" are not necessarily damning evidence but still a feather in the cap (if the movie is set during Arbor Day, you don't get that delicious quip). Also, the movie has a happy ending. The separated Holly and John McClane leave in the limo together and she makes note of using his last name again. Finally, a Christmas movie is the only place you can get away with naming a character after a pattern on a sweater (limo driver Argyle). 1b. Elf (2003) This movie is not only a must-watch every year, it is endlessly quotable. "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." "Santa! I know him!" "You sit on a throne of lies and smell like beef and cheese." "Bye, Buddy. Hope you find your dad." I could go on and on. Will Ferrell did such a great job of going all-in with this character. James Caan was also great as the miserly character with a change of heart at the end (Dickens). The costume is iconic and the casting is tremendous. I love this one. 2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) Dr. Seuss churned out some bangers in his day. The Lorax, The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, and Horton Hears a Who, to name a few. None have the staying power in our consciousness like The Grinch. In this version, we get a much more fleshed out story and world. Even though it is shot practically (in the real world instead of animated), it maintains the uneven lines and structural integrity concerns of Seuss' original illustration. Jim Carrey is fantastic as the title character, and this is also my favorite Ron Howard movie and is handled with such charm and innocence. Dr. Seuss seems to operate his worlds with his own brand of physics and I simply can't get enough. The makeup process for Jim Carrey to get into costume was apparently so arduous that he had to work with someone whose job is to train CIA members how to withstand and cope with torture. Seems like he should have won an Oscar for his ability to become nice at the end after enduring all that (Dickens). 3a. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) The idea of a mashup between Christmas and Halloween is brilliant. It also makes perfect sense it came from the mind of Tim Burton. Tim Burton has a Midas touch, but instead of turning things into gold, he turns them into Halloween. While the world of the film makes this movie feel a lot more like a Halloween movie than a Christmas movie, it's hard to avoid calling it a Christmas movie. I mean, the word Christmas is right there in the title. It'd be like questioning whether Independence Day is a movie you watch on July 4th. To not have my highest ranked stop-motion animated Christmas movie be a Rankin and Bass production may seem untenable but don't worry, there'll be a couple before the list is over. Also, who doesn't need some of this wonderful music in their lives? You're going to tell me that a musical written by Danny ELFman doesn't belong on Christmas? 3b. Klaus (2019) The animation in this movie is stunningly beautiful. Klaus is the most recent release on my list. It is a Netflix original movie featuring the vocal talents of Jason Schwartzman, J. K. Simmons, Rashida Jones, Norm Macdonald, and Joan Cusack. The small town of Smeerensburg is divided into two factions that hate each other simply because they've always hated each other. It is a cold, frozen landscape of a city in the middle of nowhere. A lazy, selfish postman is sent there by his father to grow up. The postman befriends a recluse named Klaus that used to be a toy maker. The factions of the small town eventually make up (Dickens), the postman learns to love being there (Dickens), and Klaus is painted as the origin of Santa Claus. I love this movie so much. 4. The Santa Clause (1994) When this movie came out, Tim Allen had the #1 movie at the box office (The Santa Clause), the #1 show on TV (Home Improvement), and the #1 book in America (Don't Stand to Close to a Naked Man) all in the same week. That's a good week. Interestingly, it was also the same year that Jim Carrey had three of his biggest movies in the same year with The Mask, Dumb & Dumber, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. 1994: what a year to be alive! In the Santa Clause (which incidentally led me to misspell Santa Claus for years because I didn't catch the pun in the title), Tim Allen is a corporate man, divorced with a child, who seems a little self-centered. He then accidentally kills Santa by scaring him while on the roof, causing him to fall. He then becomes the new Santa simply by wearing the outfit. He goes along kicking and screaming at first, but has a change of heart (Dickens) and embraces it at the end. It's a great movie and gave us the moment where a sweater-wearing Judge Reinhold wistfully says "a weenie whistle." 5. Trading Places (1983) Starring Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd, and Jamie Lee Curtis, this is a comedy for all time. Randolph and Mortimer, two nasty brothers with naughty wealth, engage in an equally nasty bet by wagering a dollar on the nature vs. nurture debate between two people with different socio-economic backgrounds. Louis Winthorpe III (Aykroyd) is framed for a crime, fired, and has his assets frozen, while Billy Ray Valentine (Murphy) goes from living on the street and then imprisoned, to essentially being granted Winthorpe's life as he is given his house and old job. Once the two become aware of exactly what was done to them, they come up with their own scheme, involving the stock market, to get back at the brothers. It is a very satisfying movie ending with the Brothers Duke destitute and on the street just like Valentine was at the beginning, while he and Winthorpe and Jamie Lee Curtis' Ophelia (plus the butler of the manor) live it up with newfound wealth. The story takes place during Christmas and New Years, aiding in its presence as a Christmas movie. 6. Christmas Vacation (1989) I don't know how many times I've seen this movie but I know it's a lot and I know that I seem to find something new every time. It is a hilarious movie about hosting family for the holidays. Chevy Chase is a physical comedy master and Beverly D'Angelo practically invented the Jim Halpert face in the Vacation movies. It's a series of unfortunate events during Christmas time with only the best of intentions being foiled at every turn. Speaking of turns, the grumpy old boss (played by Bill Murray's brother, Brian Doyle-Murray) that skimps on the Christmas bonuses has a change of heart at the end (Dickens) after being kidnapped by Cousin Eddy. 7. Santa Claus is Coming to Town (1970) Nothing beats the classic stop-motion animation of these old holiday specials (says the guy with eight movies ranked higher). They have such a sweet, charming soul to them. The movement and aesthetic is incomparable. They're musical, have fun character names like Heat Miser and Burgermeister Meisterburger, and just feel so timeless. I simply can't get enough. The sequel (The Year Without a Santa Claus) didn't quite make my list but is also fantastic. 8. The Polar Express (2004) The Polar Express is not the only visually unique book to be adapted into a great movie on my list (see my 2 different entries of How the Grinch Stole Christmas or check the origin story on Rudolph) but it was done in a really unique way. Robert Zemeckis (he of Back to the Future and Forrest Gump fame) did this movie with performance capture. Tom Hanks goes full Nutty Professor and plays a ton of different characters. The story is basically kids climb aboard a train in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve and travel to the North Pole aboard the titular train to see Santa and rock out to Steven Tyler. It's a fun tale with great music and the conductor challenges various children to resolve their foibles which, over the course of their journey to and experiences at the North Pole, they do (Dickens). 9. How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966) This movie is old. One benefit of that: it's short. This movie is only 26 minutes long. I have found myself sitting in a chair doing and thinking nothing for longer stretches than that (normalize spacing out!). You can practically get in and out during halftime of a college football game. I love the voice work in this one. Boris Karloff plays the titular bad guy (typecasting alert) and the equally sinister named Thurl Ravenscroft provides the singing voice. The animation during the montage where The Grinch steals the toys and he is moving through homes in such unnatural ways is my favorite. He tip toes, he slithers like a snake, he even showcases his pool skills. While I liked the Jim Carrey version better, it's a close call and without this movie, we wouldn't have "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" which is a holiday banger with lines like "I wouldn't touch you with a 39-and-a-half foot pole" (hooray for imperial units!) and "You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce." Clearly, they got the O.G., Dr. Seuss to write the lyrics. Good choice. I love the end, when it shows the heart grow "three sizes that day" (Dickens) and it breaks the X-ray machine. 10. Home Alone (1990) As a kid, I was impacted by this movie. All of the sudden, I became aware of the possibility for intruders. I was awakened to the idea of bad guys. Up until then, I was under the impression that everything was fine in the world, people kept to themselves, and no one would attack a child. After watching this movie, well, I tried to make traps. I went through a LOT of yarn back in the day trying to make traps. I never became particularly adept at it but I, thankfully, also never actually needed to use one. The movie (and its sequel and threequel) are great, but this one is my favorite. It is quotable, frenetic, and Macaulay Culkin knocks it out of the park. I love it and it's bumbling villain duo, Marv and Harry. 11. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) Ho ho ho! Last but not least we have Rudolph. This misfit is ostracized due to a nasal malfunction. Kids can be so cruel. But, when this guy turns what makes him different into what makes him great, he becomes invaluable. Let that be a lesson to you all. What makes you different, makes you valuable. Embrace that. The movie is another stop-motion animated flick by Rankin/Bass Productions. They're the powerhouse behind Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and so much more. Christmas specials are largely a thing because of them. A quick hat-tip to those that came before. Thank you! Final Thoughts I love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday. I like to bake every year and dish out some cookies. You know what goes great with a cookie? A Christmas movie (and I guess a glass of milk. If you said glass of milk, you're not wrong). This was a list of my very favorite Christmas movies of all time that I've ever seen. I've seen a bunch so I'll leave a list down below of the movies that just missed my list. If you have some I didn't mention, please let me know in the comments section. Sorry to all who were hoping it would have more Hallmark Christmas movies. That's just not... my thing. I'm rooting for you if it's your thing, though. Thank you and, in the immortal words of Tiny Tim, "God bless us, everyone." Arthur Christmas (2011) Noelle (2019) Gremlins (1984) Mixed Nuts (1994) Jingle All the Way (1996) The Christmas Chronicles (2018) Dr. Seuss' The Grinch (2018) Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) Home Alone 3 (1997) The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) That Christmas (2024) Frosty the Snowman (1969) The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974)