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By CJ Tiernan The smell of a freshly baked cookie makes the mouth water and the mind wander. It can take you back to Grandma's kitchen, as a child so small you held the cookie with both hands. Maybe you buried it up to your knuckles in milk. Maybe you even helped make the batter or spoon the batter onto a tray. A cookie is the perfect vessel for a shot of sugar or a batch of butter. It warms the heart and slaps a smile on your face. Here are my top 11 favorite cookies. 1. Sugar Cookie Nothing beats a sugar cookie for me. I picture the little criss cross pattern on the top of a homemade sugar cookie, with a little extra sprinkle of sugar on top to earn the name. It is buttery and melts in your mouth. It's simple to bake and yet we cherish the recipes handed down to us from generations on high. Simply perfection. 2. Monster Cookie This is a hard left turn from the Sugar Cookie. So many flavors at once. M&Ms, peanut butter, chocolate chips, vanilla. The texture of the oatmeal. When I bake one of these bad boys, I intentionally undercook it to leave the middle soft and gooey. These are perfect blend of salty and sweet. 3. Chocolate Chip This is the classic. When someone asks you to close your eyes and picture a cookie, this is what you picture. I don't make the rules, it's just what you do. Aromatic, soft, and gooey. I love a chocolate chip cookie. 4. Peanut Butter Blossom I believe this one goes by several names. It is the peanut butter cookie that you place a Hersey's kiss on top of right after you pull it from the oven. Another cookie that is soft and gooey. It is a fun wrinkle on the classic combination of chocolate and peanut butter 5. Snickerdoodle Cookie This is a real buttery cookie. You have to pace yourself on these. Eat more than a dozen or so and your day can really get away from you. I like to bake these because you roll the dough into a ball and then let it frolic through a cinnamon sugar wonderland. Again, I prefer these cookies soft and warm. 6. Kringla Uff da! I hit you with a curveball. This is a Scandinavian cookie that is more like a sweet bread. You roll it out in to a long thin strand and then shape it like a soft pretzel before baking. It is flour-heavy and rises a lot during a pretty short baking session. As a youth, I baked these with my Grandfather and we created a delicious mess every time. It's a fun seasonal treat and a trip down memory lane. 7. Shortbread Cookie This is the first cookie on here you can order from a sash-wearing child or their overly supportive parents. That's right. My favorite Girl Scout Cookie is Shortbread. Delicious, buttery, crispy. I'm sure no one has any strong opinions on their favorite Girl Scout Cookie and we can all just calmly move along. 8. Oatmeal Cookies I prefer mine without raisins, but that's more a texture thing. Another cookie that no one ever has any strong opinions on. I also prefer it soft and unfrosted. That's what you get from a guy that puts Sugar Cookie as his number 1 cookie (sorry for the spoiler if you were reading this list upside down) 9. White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Now this one has some different textures going on but, when you get a good one, the sweetness and the crunch are just perfect. I've been know to gravitate toward these and not just when you're at a graduation and all the other cookie flavors have been picked over already. 10. Sandwich Cookie Um, the Oreo. Ever heard of it? It's kind of awesome. I am a sucker for a whole bunch of different flavors and I believe I had to dip into the stash of mental health days when they invented the double stuf, but I love the O.G. most of all. In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, it is so choice! If you have the means, I highly recommend it. 11. Butter Cookie Very similar to the Shortbread Cookie in almost every way, these cookies are slightly sweeter than a Shortbread Cookie. They are the ones you get in a tin that have various shapes. Another cookie with a snap or a crunch when you bite it. Cookies come in many shapes and sizes but, the thing about cookies is, they're all good. Sugar! Sugar, sugar, sugar. Me and my grandfather baking Berlinerkranser (Norwegian Christmas cookies)

By CJ Tiernan There was a time when the man in charge of the United States arrived in the War Room adorned with whiskers. Mustaches and Mutton Chops used to reign supreme on the Leader of the Free World's head. Good times! Below is my ranking of the very best of the presidential facial hair. Spoiler Alert: You've not had the pleasure of watching any of the Presidents below meet the nation, as Magnavox was founded more than 30 years after the most recent president on my list left office. 1. Chester A. Arthur - 21st President (1881-1885) Look at those wispy Mutton chops! Every time he peeks over his shoulder, he has the added benefit of brushing crumbs off his own lapel. I don't know anything about his presidency but I'd imagine he was solid, because he assembled a sturdy salt-and-pepper A-Frame that peaks just south of the nostrils. It's majestic! 2. Martin Van Buren - 8th President (1837-1841) More like Martin Van Buried in Sideburns. His hair sticks straight out like he's just been electrocuted, which would have been hard to pull off considering he took office 10 years before Thomas Edison was born. They build a wall in front of his ears that may have prevented disease, or required an ear horn to be able to hear his constituents. I don't know, I wasn't there, but they're great! 3. Rutherford B. Hayes - 19th President (1877-1881) They don't make Rutherfords like they used to. Look at this beard! As a child, his guidance counselor in his one-room schoolhouse saw his beard and probably said "you'll have to become a lumberjack. The world needs lumber!" But he overcame and served one term as president of the United States. A real Cinderella story. 4. William Howard Taft - 27th President (1909-1913) William Howard Taft is famous for several reasons. He still reigns as America's most corpulent Commander in Chief, but much of the other info you probably know about him is false. He didn't die in a bathtub and the 7th inning stretch was most likely created well before his attendance in the bleachers. However, that mustache is very real. He looks to have swiped the mustache straight off the face of the weightlifter guy at a carnival. Did they have mustache wax back then? Maybe he invented that. 5. James A. Garfield - 20th President (1881) This is a neat, well-manicured look. For a man named after a cartoon cat, you'd expect to see clean whiskers. With a bushy mustache and a well-maintained beard, this is a classy, black-tie presidential look. 6. Abraham Lincoln - 16th President (1861-1865) Honest Abe sported a few different looks over the years, but he always kept that upper lip clean. I suppose he wanted to be able to stop and smell the roses uninhibited. Or Log Cabin maple syrup, maybe? He wore the stresses of leading a divided nation on his face but covered it up nicely with a thick shag carpet across the chin. 7. Theodore Roosevelt - 26th President (1901-1909) Roosevelt was a man's man. Physical and relentless. He also frequently swam naked, but he always wore this clean mustache. Dapper and crisp. Also, it looks like he's wearing a monocle in this picture. Sick! 8. Ulysses S. Grant - 18th President (1869-1877) A clean, full beard look here. He served in the army as a general. I wish the Military would let our current generals rock some facial hair. The New York Yankees recently broke down and said "beards are okay" but even the Bronx Bombers allowed mustaches. This beard, in a word: gravitas. 9. Benjamin Harrison - 23rd President (1889-1893) When Benjamin Harrison took office, the expectations were low. As the grandson of the 9th president, William Henry Harrison, the bar could have been set pretty high. But his grandfather died a month into his presidency and spent most of that month on his death bed. Don't die! That was the presidential mantra of good ol' Benjamin (at least in my mind). It meant he couldn't risk a straight razor near the neck and thus represented with a clean-looking full beard instead. 10. John Quincy Adams - 6th President (1825-1829) JQA looks cantankerous in this picture. If he's your teacher, you're for sure gonna do the homework. He's a sideburns man. Sorry if you can't tell, he basically died around the time they invented the camera so this is like the only existing picture of him. The sharp, bushy sideburns, combined with the receding hairline, lead to a floating mutton chops look. "Floating Mutton Chops": dibs on that as my band name. 11. Grover Cleveland - 22nd & 24th (1885-1889, 1893-1897) This thing is the definition of a cookie duster. A real walrus mustache. Grover, who may or may not be the namesake of a muppet, was the first president to serve non-consecutive terms. This concludes all I know about Grover Cleveland. Final Thoughts Zachary Taylor is pretty much the only other president who sported facial hair, so this list probably doesn't look too different from your own. Feel free to make your own in the comments. Also, what's is your favorite facial hair in general? Were you big on the mustache resurgence brought on by Top Gun: Maverick? You like the grizzled, mountain man look? Whatever the case, bring back the Presidential Facial Hair!

By CJ Tiernan Pat Hughes, the radio play-by-play broadcaster for the Chicago Cubs, brings a joy and energy to the broadcast on a daily basis. He has been on the call for the Cubs since 1996 and was recently inducted into the Chicago Cubs Hall of Fame. I have always delighted in his idiosyncrasies when listening to him call a game. The Cubs are my favorite baseball team and I quite enjoy listening to him when ever I can't watch the game. Below is my list of my 11 favorite things to hear (or see) Pat Hughes say (or do) on a broadcast. Garrett Craig from Madison, WI, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons 1. "Chicago Cubs Baseball is ON the air" This iconic expression sets the perfect mood for every single Cubs game. It comes at the top of each broadcast, before the first pitch has even been thrown. It comes with the excitement of the start of a game and the hope of infinite possibility. It opens the door to the chance to see something you've never seen before and the ultimate goal of flying the W. 2. Calling pants "trousers" When going over the uniforms of both teams (brought to you by Benjamin Moore), he will describe the colors of the different parts of the uniform. He always refers to pants as "trousers." It is a quaint and antiquated term that always slaps a smile on my face. 3. "This ball's got a chance…GONE!" The home run call is a signature of all baseball broadcasters. Every one of them have to attempt to balance a unique call with making sure the fans can still tell what is happening in the game. This call is great because it is coupled with a growing sense of excitement and volume as he becomes more and more sure that the ball will travel over the fence. It is reserved for the Cubs. If an opposing player hits a homer he offers a disappointed "this one is gonna leave the yard." Iconic. 4. Calling the tarp a "tarpaulin" One of the unsung sights at a ball park is seeing a comically large, rolled-up tarp along the stands. Any park without a roof requires a tarp to cover the infield in the event of inclement weather. The Cubs have theirs delightfully sponsored by Reynolds Wrap (designed to look a little like a roll of tin foil). When referencing the tarp, whether it is being draped over the field or just as an obstacle for a fielder attempting to catch a foul pop fly, he will always refer to it is a "tarpaulin." There is nothing wrong with that, as tarp is simply the abbreviation used in most walks of life. He is literally the only person I've ever heard use the full name and it always tickles the ivories of my funny bone. 5. "…But thanks for asking" When calling a game, you aren't on an island. A play-by-play man is usually issued a side-kick known as the color commentator. They are almost always someone who played the sport and is capable of adding insight to decisions and strategies of the game. Helpfully, Pat's last 2 color commentators have been named Ron. As they are filling 9 innings, and not all moments bring the action, the topics tend to wander. Sometimes, current color man Ron Coomer will ask Pat Hughes a ridiculous question that he dismisses out of hand with a "No, but thanks for asking." Blowouts are great for this flavor of banter. 6. "Impartial arbiter" In baseball, there are 4 referees, known as umpires, and each is in charge of a different base around the diamond. At the top of the broadcast, in addition to introducing the players, the umpires are introduced and their base assignments are revealed. Pat will often refer to a specific umpire as the "impartial arbiter" of whatever base they happen to be manning. While it is another way of phrasing and accurately defining their role, it is always fun to hear a twist on the normal term. 7. Palindromic attendance guesses With so many sponsors to cram into a nine-inning broadcast, it often feels like they are making up reasons to have sponsors. The TV broadcast does this by playing "mound ball" which is just observing whether the umpire keeps the ball on the dirt part of the mound when rolling the ball from home plate during the fourth inning. The umpire is unaware they are playing, but money is at stake for a random fan in the stands. On the radio broadcast, they play the Binny's Beverage Depot attendance game (no stakes are attached to this game apart from bragging rights). They are simply taking a stab at being closest to the actual attendance number revealed later in the game. Every time Pat makes a guess, he proffers a palindrome. A palindrome is a word or number that is read the same way forward and backward. "Race car" is an example of this. He'll throw out a guess like 41,414 in attendance today. He's clearly just doing it to amuse himself, which makes it all the more fun for the rest of us. 8. "Fasten those seatbelts as we go to the (bottom of the) 9th" This phrase is used in a close game. If the Cubs are poised to win, and just need to cling for dear life to a close lead, he'll throw this phrase out there. It helps to conjure the emotion of the moment. He usually says it right before the commercial break leading to the top or bottom of the 9th inning, depending on the game situation and whether they are home or away. The Cubs have had issues closing games during my tenure as a fan, so the seatbelt metaphor is quite apt. 9. "The lights have taken full effect" When you are calling a game on the radio, you're obligated to paint a vivid picture. The people listening to you can't actually see the game, so they are looking at the sights and action through your eyes. Pat Hughes has always painted a delightfully beautiful picture. He is no stranger to standing in awe at the historic nature of Wrigley Field and the one-of-a-kind power of the fans at the Friendly Confines. He will sometimes step back and let the force of the crowd noise take over. He helps put the listener in the stadium. In addition to helping you feel like you are there, he will also paint the picture of what you'd see. He likes to use the line "the lights have taken full effect" when the day has given way to night to such a degree that the game wouldn't be functional without the many stadium lights encircling the park. It is a simple, almost throwaway line that he utters frequently throughout the season. I love it. 10. "Get out the tape measure LONG home run" This is an extension of his home run call. Some homers will just squeak over the fence while others are hit so far and hard they threaten to make their way to the streets of Sheffield or Waveland. This call is reserved for the no-doubters. It is often also reserved for days when the wind is blowing out. Wrigley Field is, perhaps more than any other MLB park, beholden to the weather of the day and when the wind is blowing out, look out! 11. Hawaiian shirts and sweaters I couldn't make this list without touching on Pat Hughes' signature look. When the weather is nice, he is known to rock some loud shirts. When the weather turns cool, he rocks a sweater. It became signature enough a look to be a giveaway at the stadium. The loud and bright color scheme is one that I'm no stranger to, so I hold a soft spot for the look. Final Thoughts Pat Hughes-isms run rampant through his countless broadcasts and spear the hearts of Cubs fans around the world. There is nothing like the magic of taking in a game at Wrigley, but Pat does his darnedest to put us in the bleachers. This is a thank you to the man, the myth, the legend of Pat Hughes. Just missing my list were the phrases "can you believe it" and "this is a potential turning point in this game." Please let me know if I left any of your favorites off the list in the comments below. Thanks!

By CJ Tiernan I like to watch TV shows that make me laugh. Some of the most fun comedy is the comedy that is born of breaking free of its previously established conventions or commenting on the standard conventions and styles. Meta means self-referential, as in referencing itself or its own genre. Below, I've compiled a list of the TV Shows I consider to be the most meta, or best at being self-referential. Please enjoy and feel free to offer up your own list in the comments. Again, just to clarify, these ranking are not my favorite TV shows that are meta, but the shows I've seen that I found to be the most meta, ranked in the degree to which I deemed their meta-ness. 1. Phineas and Ferb Years: 2007-2015, 2025-present Seasons (Episodes): 5 (150) This animated show follows two young brothers (the titular Phineas and Ferb) occupying their summer vacation by creating and developing insanely elaborate inventions for the fun and enjoyment of themselves and their friends in the neighborhood. Their older sister is incessantly attempting to "bust" her brothers by getting their mom to see what the boys are up to. From building a rollercoaster to dimension hopping, these boys are brilliant and completely oblivious to their sisters attempts to thwart them. They are also completely oblivious to the fact their pet Platypus (Perry) is a secret agent constantly stopping the local evil scientist, dressed like a pharmacist, from taking over the tri-state area. The comical rigidity in the formula, along with occasional comments that break the fourth wall, create a delightfully meta experience. 2. The Rehearsal Years: 2022-present Seasons (Episodes): 2 (12) This show breaks the mind with its approach to comedy. It follows Nathan Fielder as someone with a bizarre curiosity and interest in helping real people overcome tricky conversations in their lives. They are specific conversations with someone that need to be had and Fielder, playing a fictionalized version of himself, helps create elaborate sets that painstakingly recreate the location wherein the convo will take place to help work out all the variables. He then hires actors who attempt to play all of the roles in this location to see how it can play out. You've got to see it to feel how odd and uncomfortable and hilarious it is. 3. Community Years: 2009-2015 Seasons (Episodes): 6 (110) Keith McDuffee from Northborough, MA, USA, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons Community refers to a Community College. It follows a study group of seven people from very different walks of life who are going to college at varying ages and for varying reasons. The show is able to alternate between absurd comedy and genuine heart. It also has several episodes that dive headlong into spoofing different genres and styles. The cast is amazing but the character Abed helps this show get this high on the list as he is a huge movie and TV fan who behaves as though he is in a TV show and comments on the various goings on to riotous effect. They also have some epic running gags. Google the Beetlejuice one! 4. Solar Opposites Years: 2020-present Seasons (Episodes): 5 (53) Another animated show, Solar Opposites follows a group of aliens who behave as a family after crash-landing on Earth. They were sent from their home planet to colonize a new one and are not great at it. They also look like aliens and live life on Earth with very little commentary on their appearance. The show has meta moments all over the place, including in the opening credits where the voice over is done by the the main character and he talks to the audience. There are frequent pop culture references that break the fourth wall and lots of really crazy other stuff, like the growing number of people that are shrunken down and placed in "The Wall." 5. Rick and Morty Years: 2013-present Seasons (Episodes): 8 (81) The second animated show in a row that was co-created by Justin Roiland, Rick and Morty follows a mad-scientist grandfather that brings his grandson with him through various escapades through time and space. He is both a brilliant scientist and a terrible person. I should mention that even though he co-created both shows and voiced the main characters, Roiland was "canceled" and replaced on both this show and Solar Opposites. This show not only makes obscure pop culture references but comments on those references and how obscure they are. They break the fourth wall a lot too. 6. Arrested Development Years: 2003-2006, 2013-2019 Seasons (Episodes): 5 (84) This is a show that follows a dysfunctional family trying to get back on track after the patriarch is imprisoned due to "some light treason." This show is the king of the running gag. Repeated lines by different characters happen throughout an episode or even over the course of a season. The show also has a narrator (Ron Howard!) who breaks the fourth wall, like when he acknowledges that the actress playing a character has changed. This show is one of the funniest shows of all time and extremely rewatchable. 7. 30 Rock Years: 2006-2013 Seasons (Episodes): 7 (138) 30 Rock is a show that follows the behind-the-scenes side of a fictionalized version of Saturday Night Live. It features executives, writers, and performers and their various conflicts with one another. This show constantly breaks the fourth wall and generates self-referential humor and has a character go off his meds and shout that he is on a show within a show and shouts his real name, which is the name of the actor playing the character. 30 Rock even uses music cues to play on classic troupes from other shows. 8. Animaniacs Years: 1993-1998 Seasons (Episodes): 5 (99) This is an animated show with 3 siblings (The Warners) from the golden age of black and white movies and TV that were locked in a water tower for being too zany and when they break out, they prove they were, in fact, too zany. The episodes usually consist of several different cartoon shorts, but the ones that feature Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Warner are full of people you might have found on the Warner Brothers' lot at the time of the show and exorbitant animated hijinx. The characters also break the fourth wall. 9. Supernatural Years: 2005-2020 Seasons (Episodes): 15 (327) This show ran for an incredibly long time for a live-action show and managed to touch on a lot of different tropes. It follows Sam and Dean Winchester as brothers who grew up to follow in their dad's footsteps of hunting demons and other supernatural phenomena around the country. The show often plays things very straight and very serious, which makes the times they go off the rails all the more compelling. In one episode, the characters get mistaken for the actors that play the characters in the TV show. In another episode, their many adventures become a book series and they have tons of swooning fans. They even end up getting sucked into an old TV cartoon. Again, a lot of episodes, but worth it for the delightful meta moments. 10. Family Guy Years: 1999-2002, 2005-present Seasons (Episodes): 24 (445) This animated show follows Peter Griffin and his family and friends in the fictional Rhode Island city of Quahog. Every episode is a vehicle for its signature brand of humor: the flashback. This show constantly makes pop culture references and showcases the humor by throwing to these obscure references. The show also breaks the fourth wall a lot. In one episode, two of the characters travel back in time to the pilot episode of the show. The show runs on Fox and is no stranger to poking fun of its fellow Fox shows. Also worth the watch for the fascinating breadth of characters being voiced by show creator Seth MacFarlane. 11. South Park Years: 1997-present Seasons (Episodes): 27 (333) South Park is animated show following four Elementary School boys living in a small town outside of Denver, CO. The show is famous for its animation style, which started as construction paper cut-outs of people and places (now done with computers) and its crude language and humor. It has characters that break the fourth wall and reference the show (both on screen and behind-the-scenes). Most memorably, it had an entire episode of generating ideas, only to get the repeated rejection phrase thrown back: "Simpsons did it!" Final Thoughts It was tough bringing the list down to 11, as there are a lot of shows great at self-referential humor. I will include a list at the bottom including the ones that just missed the cut on my Top 11 list. I do quite enjoy most of the shows on this list and highly recommend checking them out. I do feel a slight need to clarify that this list has nothing to do with the artist formally known as "The Facebook", as the company is now also named Meta. Here are some more great meta shows: Episodes (2011-2017) Seinfeld (1989-1998) BoJack Horseman (2014-2020) Scrubs (2001-2010) Spaced (1999-2001)