By CJ Tiernan Shakespeare once wrote something about names and roses (c’mon, you know the one). Anyway, he was wrong. A name can make or break the essence of a character. Han Solo tells us he’s a lone wolf. Ted Lasso tells us he’s in charge of corralling a group of individuals. Mickey Mouse tells us he’s a mouse. Sometimes, the writer just goes wild with it. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock is a name a character (who already has a name) makes up for themselves. Inigo Montoy

By CJ Tiernan It’s my estimation that when James P. Hat invented the first hat over two hundred years ago, he rested on a park bench, on a warm and sunny day, with his brow shaded, and said, “ahhh. That’s nice.” Now, I wasn’t there, I’m just guessing. Since then, the hat industry exploded. You can’t throw a stick of dynamite these days without hitting a haberdashery. Tall hats, short hats, soft hats, hard hats, there are so many hats you could put a hat on a hat (I mean, yo

By CJ Tiernan Over the years, my vernacular has become heavily populated with movie lines. There are certain circumstances that arise which you can more or less set your timepiece to me delivering a line from a movie, like Woody with a pull string. Off the dome, I’m remembering “Reach for the sky,” “This town ain’t big enough for the two of us,” “There’s a snake in my boot,” and “Somebody poisoned the waterhole.” In that sense, I'm a walking if-then statement. One’s youth i

By CJ Tiernan Nicknames of historical figures are curious. For instance, did all the members of his cabinet refer to Abraham Lincoln as “Honest Abe?” Did he even like that nickname? Did they just whisper it in halls of the parliament building or wherever it is they did whatever they did or were they actually saying it to his face? Did that nickname even exist, or was it manufactured after he, so to speak, bit the bullet? I don’t know whether some of these nicknames were cra

By CJ Tiernan There was a time when the man in charge of the United States arrived in the War Room adorned with whiskers. Mustaches and Mutton Chops used to reign supreme, attached to the face of the Leader of the Free World. Good times! Below is my ranking of the very best of the presidential facial hair. Spoiler Alert: You've not had the pleasure of watching any of the following Presidents meet the nation, as Magnavox (an old TV company, for the uninitiated) was founded mor